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A Haunting In Norfolk


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Just now, camberwell gypsy said:

There was a locked door with moaning sounds coming from it. I was told to stay away from there. 

That was Johnny's parents in the visitors suite. They were very upset after he came out as a hairdresser.

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On 01/01/2021 at 21:53, Eric Cuntman said:

My lot, the B Mob, were only in it for a good natured scrap, but the Headhunters and Millwall's Bushwhackers were another level. Newcastle and Portsmouth were fairly hardcore as well. 

Guners are faggots.

What are your thoughts on Palace as a firm? Back in the late 90's early noughties we had some blinding rows with them. I was never part of the main firm, but was never shy about throwing a few right handers when ambushed.

Back when Stella was still only a pound odd a pint, but strangely bugle's still £50 a gram. Well I paid £50 for a 0.7 of the real McCoy. Fuck the pub grub. I'm a bit of a conisseur when it comes to illegal substances...

Gunners are runners! 

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10 minutes ago, Major Cunt said:

What are your thoughts on Palace as a firm? Back in the late 90's early noughties we had some blinding rows with them. I was never part of the main firm, but was never shy about throwing a few right handers when ambushed.

Back when Stella was still only a pound odd a pint, but strangely bugle's still £50 a gram. Well I paid £50 for a 0.7 of the real McCoy. Fuck the pub grub. I'm a bit of a conisseur when it comes to illegal substances...

Gunners are runners! 

Fucking inflation. I'm not as old as the majority of the decrepit cunts on here, but when I first started drinking and smoking I can remember being able to get a pack of ten Mayfair for £1.65 and a half decent pint for £1.80. Nowadays any decent pint is £4.00 or more and the robbing cunts have got rid of packs of ten so you're forking out over £10.00 for a pack of twenty. 

Fucking scandalous.

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13 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Fucking inflation. I'm not as old as the majority of the decrepit cunts on here, but when I first started drinking and smoking I can remember being able to get a pack of ten Mayfair for £1.65 and a half decent pint for £1.80. Nowadays any decent pint is £4.00 or more and the robbing cunts have got rid of packs of ten so you're forking out over £10.00 for a pack of twenty. 

Fucking scandalous.

I'm not much older than you and can remember as a teen paying £1.14 for 10 Bensons, and blue Rizzla's were about 15p. Reminds me of fingerings birds after a bottle of MD 20/20 and having no idea where the clit was located. These entitled millennial cunts getting their drugs through the post and porn at the click of a button don't know their born, but apparently now their all trying to do their birds up the wrong un thanks to 'Pornhub'. 

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22 minutes ago, Major Cunt said:

What are your thoughts on Palace as a firm? Back in the late 90's early noughties we had some blinding rows with them. I was never part of the main firm, but was never shy about throwing a few right handers when ambushed.

Back when Stella was still only a pound odd a pint, but strangely bugle's still £50 a gram. Well I paid £50 for a 0.7 of the real McCoy. Fuck the pub grub. I'm a bit of a conisseur when it comes to illegal substances...

Gunners are runners! 

Never had anything to do with palace. I know their unofficial HQ was the 'Cherry Trees' pub, right next to Norwood Junction train station.

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3 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Never had anything to do with palace. I know their unofficial HQ was the 'Cherry Trees' pub, right next to Norwood Junction train station.

Indeed. We tried to get there for 11am one morning with the intention of taking their boozer over. However the landlord was on the blower as soon as we exited the station, and old bill arrived on mass. 

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1 hour ago, Major Cunt said:

These entitled millennial cunts getting their drugs through the post and porn at the click of a button don't know their born, but apparently now their all trying to do their birds up the wrong un thanks to 'Pornhub'. 

No wonder they're all so bent and fixated on weird, Japanese Octopus porn, the poor little cunts can't afford to go out and meet a real tart.

Back when I was a cheeky underage drinker looking to prematurely ejaculate up some naive fellow teen's, rancid snatch, you could go on a night out with a barely a score to your name. At an age where ten pints would see your underdeveloped liver struggle to process enough alcohol to keep you conscious, £25 was more than enough to keep the party going and buy a few Smirnoff's in exchange for a toothy blowjob.

Nowadays the cunts have to sit in thrashing their maggots to Deviant Art Pokémon erotica because you need at least £100 quid to make a decent night of it.

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1 hour ago, Major Cunt said:

having no idea where the clit was located

I think Neil has a biscuit tin full of them under a floorboard in his kitchen. Keeping trophys is always how they get caught eventually.

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20 minutes ago, Decimus said:

No wonder they're all so bent and fixated on weird, Japanese Octopus porn, the poor little cunts can't afford to go out and meet a real tart.

Back when I was a cheeky underage drinker looking to prematurely ejaculate up some naive fellow teen's, rancid snatch, you could go on a night out with a barely a score to your name. At an age where ten pints would see your underdeveloped liver struggle to process enough alcohol to keep you conscious, £25 was more than enough to keep the party going and buy a few Smirnoff's in exchange for a toothy blowjob.

Nowadays the cunts have to sit in thrashing their maggots to Deviant Art Pokémon erotica because you need at least £100 quid to make a decent night of it.

Neil can have a great night out with £7.50's worth of Rohypnol and cable ties.

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49 minutes ago, King Billy said:

I think Neil has a biscuit tin full of them under a floorboard in his kitchen. Keeping trophys is always how they get caught eventually.

Clitoris allsorts

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On 02/01/2021 at 22:37, Goober said:

Where's that cunt @Stubby Pecker fucked off to over Christmas. Do you think he's contracted a nasty fungal infection from a smooth newt? 

Indeed. I had to wake the slimy little cunt up from its winter slumber- to give it the fuck of its life mind

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On 04/01/2021 at 18:37, Major Cunt said:

What are your thoughts on Palace as a firm? Back in the late 90's early noughties we had some blinding rows with them. I was never part of the main firm, but was never shy about throwing a few right handers when ambushed.

Back when Stella was still only a pound odd a pint, but strangely bugle's still £50 a gram. Well I paid £50 for a 0.7 of the real McCoy. Fuck the pub grub. I'm a bit of a conisseur when it comes to illegal substances...

Gunners are runners! 

Reminds me of Southend on a Saturday night in the 50s.

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On 05/08/2018 at 21:32, Decimus said:

Gather round fellow cunters, and make yourselves comfortable. Dim your lights, lock your doors and pour yourselves a large medicinal brandy.

What I am about to divulge has never been discussed outside of my inner circle through fear of being ridiculed by sceptical naysayers. But as the weather cools and the nights slowly begin to draw in, I feel that it is time to share the horrors that I once confronted during a cold foggy, and damp November evening whilst wandering the bleak fens of Norfolk in 2013.

Having attended a birthday of a colleague in a small hamlet just outside of Swaffham, I was dismayed to discover that the taxi I had ordered to take me to Norwich railway station at 11pm had failed to appear. Due to the complete lack of mobile phone coverage within the area, I was unable to call Mrs. D to mount a rescue mission, so began a five mile walk to the next village where a colleague was staying at a cosy local hostelry.

No sooner had I set out upon the narrow country lane which led toward my salvation, than a thick mist suddenly descended upon me, rendering my surroundings completely obscured beyond a radius of a mere four feet. Stumbling blindly along in eerie silence, I desperately attempted to grope my way towards civilisation as I suddenly became overcome with a feeling of existential dread. Within a minute of the fog cloaking my senses, I began to sense that I was not alone in my nocturnal journey. A slow, rhythmic breathing was ever present behind my right ear, deepening and becoming more ragged as I nervously increased my pace in an effort to escape the spectre that was stalking me.

As my own heart rate rapidly increased, I began to feel myself hyperventilating to the point that I had to stop my journey through fear of rendering myself unconscious and vulnerable to whatever was hunting me. After a brief two minute interlude where the only noise to break the sudden silence was the mournful hoot of a tawny owl, I began to run at full pelt, blindly crashing my way down the twisting lane that by now was completely cloaked by a veil of fridgid, ethereal vapour.

I eventually reached the safety of my colleague's lodgings, and fortified with a double Laphroaig, I considered relaying to him the horrors that I had faced during my eventful night-time adventure. As I was about to begin, my colleague turned his face back from the roaring fire of his room and looked me directly in the face. It was at this point in time, I realised that the true horror was only just beginning. This was not my colleague that I was face to face with. The hideous face that still haunts dreams was none other than....

 

 

I take back all of the pleasantries. This is fucking drivel. 

You need a boot up the bollocks by a big man in Steel toecapped boots..... possibly a German.

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21 minutes ago, jackotc unearthed said:

I take back all of the pleasantries. This is fucking drivel. 

You need a boot up the bollocks by a big man in Steel toecapped boots..... possibly a German.

You appear to be a tad perturbed, Jacko.

For a man who despises the use of vitriol as a substitute for character and who previously used to try to cultivate a nonchalant, laissez-faire personna, you are coming across like a right rattled fucking idiot.

Instead of flitting from thread to thread responding to every personal slight and dredging up nominations from over two years ago, how about trying to post something semi-humorous?

You redundant fucking cunt.

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8 hours ago, Decimus said:

You appear to be a tad perturbed, Jacko.

For a man who despises the use of vitriol as a substitute for character and who previously used to try to cultivate a nonchalant, laissez-faire personna, you are coming across like a right rattled fucking idiot.

Instead of flitting from thread to thread responding to every personal slight and dredging up nominations from over two years ago, how about trying to post something semi-humorous?

You redundant fucking cunt.

Me ? Rattled ? 😂😂😂 For making an innocent truthful comment about your nom ? I think we both know that’s nonsense.

What happened to you man ? 5 or 6 strategically placed comments and I’m already bouncing you about like a cracked table tennis ball.

Did you get that little pang of dread in the pit of your stomach when you saw I had returned ? 

In the old days it would have been a hard on.

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11 hours ago, jackotc unearthed said:

Me ? Rattled ? 😂😂😂 For making an innocent truthful comment about your nom ? I think we both know that’s nonsense.

What happened to you man ? 5 or 6 strategically placed comments and I’m already bouncing you about like a cracked table tennis ball.

Did you get that little pang of dread in the pit of your stomach when you saw I had returned ? 

In the old days it would have been a hard on.

Hardly, I've been desperate for a worthy adversary. If you'd been here to see the sub-standard shit I've had to put up with when picking a victim for a vendetta you'd understand what I mean. For reference, check out @JohnnySaucePants and @Salty Piss Flap

The jury is still out on you, Jacko. I'm desperate for you to come good.

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11 hours ago, jackotc unearthed said:

Me ? Rattled ? 😂😂😂 For making an innocent truthful comment about your nom ? I think we both know that’s nonsense.

What happened to you man ? 5 or 6 strategically placed comments and I’m already bouncing you about like a cracked table tennis ball.

Did you get that little pang of dread in the pit of your stomach when you saw I had returned ? 

In the old days it would have been a hard on.

Jacko, rather thn all this chasing your tail couldn't you sort Harold out?

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