World gone tits-up.

[King Billy]

7 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

That looks alright. Bit of T-Cut and it's sorted.

Eddie has  a T Cut promotion on at the moment at the parts counter.  What a stroke of luck. He can have it sorted, good as new and give to his new bird after bigfoots funeral.

[Jake The Muss]

1 hour ago, cuntspotter said:

I know I am.

Yeah we know Spot.

[Guest Salty Piss Flap]

5 hours ago, Jake The Muss said:

I'm far from lonely , you missed the point yet again Ed. Let me explain in very simpleton terms for you to follow, you don't have to spend a shit load money to have a great night out, but if you love to be ripped off, then that's up to you. I would spend about £100-150 for a night out for me and the missus, we don't over eat or over drink...but we have a great time with friends and enjoy our own company as well. I would rather put my hard earned cash to other things than pure decadence bullshit.

But not a problem for a business tycoon like your balding self, you can do it all can't you Ed.

You do seem to be suffering with discontentment if i'm honest.

And not only that, but most of these snobbish cunt "haute cuisine" restaurants that charge over $100 (£) per person, give you a ridiculously tiny little serving of some cutesy bullshit on a plate with sauce "artistically" (pretentiously) drizzled over it so that gullible idiots will think they're getting something special, which in turn of course, makes them feel like they are special, too.

But in reality, there isn't enough food to satisfy the appetite of an average child.

Google Image - haute cuisine (link)

Gawd, how I hate that stupid sauce drizzling shit. 

The fact that these restaurants thrive is a testament to the notion that P.T. Barnum really knew what he was talking about when he said... "There's a sucker born every minute".

[Eric Cuntman]

8 minutes ago, Salty Piss Flap said:

And not only that, but most of these snobbish cunt "haute cuisine" restaurants that charge over $100 (£) per person, give you a ridiculously tiny little serving of some cutesy bullshit on a plate with sauce "artistically" (pretentiously) drizzled over it so that gullible idiots will think they're getting something special, which in turn of course, makes them feel like they are special, too.

But in reality, there isn't enough food to satisfy the appetite of an average child.

Google Image - haute cuisine (link)

Gawd, how I hate that stupid sauce drizzling shit. 

The fact that these restaurants thrive is a testament to the notion that P.T. Barnum really knew what he was talking about when he said... "There's a sucker born every minute".

The modern phenomenon of superstar chefs is unfathomable. We had one over here called Keith Floyd. He described himself as 'a cook, nothing more, nothing less'.

another of his criticisms was levelled at Marco Pierre White, Gordon Ramsay etc, 'insisting on being referred to as 'Chef', makes them nothing more than cunts.'

personally, most of what they serve up doesn't appeal to me. If I order roast lamb, I want it cooked tender and falling apart, not dripping blood, the only heat having been applied to it, being walked under a light bulb as it left the kitchen.

 

[King Billy]

15 minutes ago, Salty Piss Flap said:

And not only that, but most of these snobbish cunt "haute cuisine" restaurants that charge over $100 (£) per person, give you a ridiculously tiny little serving of some cutesy bullshit on a plate with sauce "artistically" (pretentiously) drizzled over it so that gullible idiots will think they're getting something special, which in turn of course, makes them feel like they are special, too.

But in reality, there isn't enough food to satisfy the appetite of an average child.

Google Image - haute cuisine (link)

Gawd, how I hate that stupid sauce drizzling shit. 

The fact that these restaurants thrive is a testament to the notion that P.T. Barnum really knew what he was talking about when he said... "There's a sucker born every minute".

Are you sure about this?

Are you trying to say yanks like to eat a lot of food?

Well..... Who knew?

[King Billy]

2 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

The modern phenomenon of superstar chefs is unfathomable. We had one over here called Keith Floyd. He described himself as 'a cook, nothing more, nothing less'.

another of his criticisms was levelled at Marco Pierre White, Gordon Ramsay etc, 'insisting on being referred to as 'Chef', makes them nothing more than cunts.'

personally, most of what they serve up doesn't appeal to me. If I order roast lamb, I want it cooked tender and falling apart, not dripping blood, the only heat having been applied to it, being walked under a light bulb as it left the kitchen.

 

I only like potatoes.

lol

[Decimus]

1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said:

The modern phenomenon of superstar chefs is unfathomable. We had one over here called Keith Floyd. He described himself as 'a cook, nothing more, nothing less'.

another of his criticisms was levelled at Marco Pierre White, Gordon Ramsay etc, 'insisting on being referred to as 'Chef', makes them nothing more than cunts.'

personally, most of what they serve up doesn't appeal to me. If I order roast lamb, I want it cooked tender and falling apart, not dripping blood, the only heat having been applied to it, being walked under a light bulb as it left the kitchen.

 

Agreed. The same with beef, I cook it long and slow, until I can blow on it and it falls apart.

Wankers like Stein, Ramsey and that scruffy cunt Fearnley Whittingstall, insist that meat is ruined unless your fork is misted by the final breath of the poor slaughtered ungulate on your plate.

Whilst I'm on the subject, meat is expensive as it is. So I don't take kindly to "celebrity chefs" who cream their whites over gelatinous, sinewy, inedible shite like pork belly, scrag ends and shin meat. It suits them to make it fashionable, purely so the likes of Heston Blumenthal can justify selling a plate of liver and pig trotters that cost him 70 pence for 50 quid in The Wild fucking Duck.

[Earl of Punkape]

4 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Agreed. The same with beef, I cook it long and slow, until I can blow on it and it falls apart.

Wankers like Stein, Ramsey and that scruffy cunt Fearnley Whittingstall, insist that meat is ruined unless your fork is misted by the final breath of the poor slaughtered ungulate on your plate.

Whilst I'm on the subject, meat is expensive as it is. So I don't take kindly to "celebrity chefs" who cream their whites over gelatinous, sinewy, inedible shite like pork belly, scrag ends and shin meat. It suits them to make it fashionable, purely so the likes of Heston Blumenthal can justify selling a plate of liver and pig trotters that cost him 70 pence for 50 quid in The Wild fucking Duck.

You obviously can’t afford expensive cuts of prime beef sirloin or fillet which should always be served rare.

 You’re probably happier with spam or cheap corned beef anyway.

 

[Eric Cuntman]

6 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Agreed. The same with beef, I cook it long and slow, until I can blow on it and it falls apart.

Wankers like Stein, Ramsey and that scruffy cunt Fearnley Whittingstall, insist that meat is ruined unless your fork is misted by the final breath of the poor slaughtered ungulate on your plate.

Whilst I'm on the subject, meat is expensive as it is. So I don't take kindly to "celebrity chefs" who cream their whites over gelatinous, sinewy, inedible shite like pork belly, scrag ends and shin meat. It suits them to make it fashionable, purely so the likes of Heston Blumenthal can justify selling a plate of liver and pig trotters that cost him 70 pence for 50 quid in The Wild fucking Duck.

Pigs cheeks. They rave about it, but it's tough, chewy fucking shit.

And any cunt that scoops out the guts of a still living sea urchin, and puts it in their mouth, is a filthy fucking scummy shitcunt.

[Decimus]

8 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said:

You obviously can’t afford expensive cuts of prime beef sirloin or fillet which should always be served rare.

 

According to who? The idea of parasitic worms wriggling around inside your arsehole obviously isn't anathema to someone used to being quadruply penetrated by a rabid pack of blacks. 

Personally, though, I'd rather cook my food and keep my anus pure.

[Penny Farthing]

5 hours ago, Eddie said:

Is that yours ape? Designed by a highly respected engineer 😂😂😂

I suspect that its a kick start with an engine from an old Raleigh Runabout.

[ratcum]

23 minutes ago, Glowworm said:

I suspect that its a kick start with an engine from an old Raleigh Runabout.

Welsh trollop 

[Penny Farthing]

1 minute ago, ratcum said:

Welsh trollop 

Old fascist fart.

[Jake The Muss]

27 minutes ago, Glowworm said:

I suspect that its a kick start with an engine from an old Raleigh Runabout.

Would you fuck off and go and haunt another thread, you internet vampire.

Despicable old boot.

[Jake The Muss]

1 hour ago, Salty Piss Flap said:

And not only that, but most of these snobbish cunt "haute cuisine" restaurants that charge over $100 (£) per person, give you a ridiculously tiny little serving of some cutesy bullshit on a plate with sauce "artistically" (pretentiously) drizzled over it so that gullible idiots will think they're getting something special, which in turn of course, makes them feel like they are special, too.

But in reality, there isn't enough food to satisfy the appetite of an average child.

Google Image - haute cuisine (link)

Gawd, how I hate that stupid sauce drizzling shit. 

The fact that these restaurants thrive is a testament to the notion that P.T. Barnum really knew what he was talking about when he said... "There's a sucker born every minute".

I'm not in to that whole dinning out in rip-off restaurants thing, been there and done that bullshit, as the amount of obnoxious cunts that populate them make me want to become genocidal.

I prefer to cook my other-half a nice meal in the comfort of our own home...that way i avoid prison and get my leg over....win win.

[Neil]

A good piece of fillet costs about 8 quid and no cunt cooks it better than moi for moi........pretentious? Moi?

Fuck off

...

[camberwell gypsy]

44 minutes ago, Jake The Muss said:

I'm not in to that whole dinning out in rip-off restaurants thing, been there and done that bullshit, as the amount of obnoxious cunts that populate them make me want to become genocidal.

I prefer to cook my other-half a nice meal in the comfort of our own home...that way i avoid prison and get my leg over....win win.

Was that the microwave I heard just go "ping"? 

[Jake The Muss]

46 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Was that the microwave I heard just go "ping"? 

Only used a microwave a couple of times, don't like the bastards. I don't use those illness inducing sauces either.

Always cook from scratch Gypsy.

[camberwell gypsy]

17 minutes ago, Jake The Muss said:

Only used a microwave a couple of times, don't like the bastards. I don't use those illness inducing sauces either.

Always cook from scratch Gypsy.

Me too. Makes me laugh when I get told "I'm gonna cook myself a nice spaghetti bolognese" meaning they're gonna tip a jar of Ragu over mincemeat.

[Jake The Muss]

24 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Me too. Makes me laugh when I get told "I'm gonna cook myself a nice spaghetti bolognese" meaning they're gonna tip a jar of Ragu over mincemeat.

Lazy cunts, the amount of crap that goes in to those jars of death.

[King Billy]

32 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Me too. Makes me laugh when I get told "I'm gonna cook myself a nice spaghetti bolognese" meaning they're gonna tip a jar of Ragu over mincemeat.

Try telling Henry Hill that Wiseguy.

[King Billy]

2 hours ago, Jake The Muss said:

I'm not in to that whole dinning out in rip-off restaurants thing, been there and done that bullshit, as the amount of obnoxious cunts that populate them make me want to become genocidal.

I prefer to cook my other-half a nice meal in the comfort of our own home...that way i avoid prison and get my leg over....win win.

And then out for a mass shooting in the 1970 Oldsmobile sedan.

[Guest DrCunt]

55 minutes ago, Jake The Muss said:

Only used a microwave a couple of times, don't like the bastards. I don't use those illness inducing sauces either.

Always cook from scratch Gypsy.

A good way to make porridge, if you have psoriasis.

[Jake The Muss]

Just now, King Billy said:

And then out for a mass shooting in the 1970 Oldsmobile sedan.

Fuck me Billy, you know that i have an old english shhepdog and what car i have. You sure you're not head of the cabal  ?

[Jake The Muss]

2 minutes ago, DrCunt said:

A good way to make porridge, if you have psoriasis.

I think Frankie might have something like that, have you seen the daft cunts legs ?

Probably his immune system.