Jonty Bravery

[Decimus]

10 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Never mind all that shit. I want to know how someone who has repeatedly claimed that their eyesight is only slightly north of Helen Keller's, manages to work as a professional photographer. 

At least Stephen Hawking never claimed to be a professional footballer.

In its own way, the Pen creature is as big a fantasist as Punkape. I've lost count of the amount of times its back story has changed over the years. 

If I'd hired a professional photographer and they turned up with a white stick and a dog, I'd be looking around for the reanimated corpse of Jeremy fucking Beadle.

[Guest Salty Piss Flap]

26 minutes ago, Decimus said:

I'll give you this, Drew, that was certainly better than the shite that Salty came up with.

I'm talking comparatively of course, but who would have thought a year ago that your posts would one day be in the top 5% on here in terms of wit and humour? I certainly fucking didn't.

Bullshit. If that's what you consider funny, then your much vaunted "superior understanding" of "humoUr", isn't a fraction of what you claim it to be.

But then, of course you'd claim that whether you really believed it or not.

No way you'd ever be man enough to admit that I have once again, owned your weak ass. 

[Guest Salty Piss Flap]

4 minutes ago, Decimus said:

In its own way, the Pen creature is as big a fantasist as Punkape. I've lost count of the amount of times its back story has changed over the years. 

If I'd hired a professional photographer and they turned up with a white stick and a dog, I'd be looking around for the reanimated corpse of Jeremy fucking Beadle.

The only picture of you anyone wants to see....

[Witheredscrote]

23 hours ago, Mrs Roops said:

Probably a good idea if some of you drama queens settle down...

Strange, someone alludes to the starving to death of underclass children and not peep from anyone. Allude to unproven noncing enabling and the usual virtue signallers switch on the manufactured outrage. 

Decimus, you schoolboy cunt,  desist now,  or Roops will remove your conkers (if she can find them).  lol lol

[Decimus]

Just now, Salty Piss Flap said:

Bullshit. If that's what you consider funny, then your much vaunted "superior understanding" of "humoUr", isn't a fraction of what you claim it to be.

But then, of course you'd claim that whether you really believed it or not.

No way you'd ever be man enough to admit that I have once again, owned your weak ass. 

I didn't find it funny, it was fucking appalling, but it was better than your weak effort. If you look at my next paragraph I clarify it by saying "comparatively".

Drew isn't funny, far from it. The only reason he now finds his posts in the top 5% is because 95% of the rest of the content on here these days consists of the non-stop, absolute fucking drivel that you and Pen churn out.

[Guest Salty Piss Flap]

Just now, Witheredscrote said:

Decimus, you schoolboy cunt,  desist now,  or Roops will remove your conkers (if she can find them).  lol lol

He can't even find them.

Likely because they don't exist.

[Stubby Pecker]

4 hours ago, Wolfie said:

I strongly suspect Stubbs has no desire to meet you, Dave.

As most know wolfer, it's doesn't matter how big they are if you're 100% committed to doing them serious harm. A stunning blow to Penelopes massive and hairy cock and balls would do the trick and society a huge favour, especially the worried parents on the platform who swiftly usher their kids away from the creepy abomination of nature 

[Stubby Pecker]

23 minutes ago, Salty Piss Flap said:

He can't even find them.

Likely because they don't exist.

My cock absolutely fucking stinks. Do you want to suck it before I take a shit in your mouth?

[Eric Cuntman]

39 minutes ago, Decimus said:

In its own way, the Pen creature is as big a fantasist as Punkape. I've lost count of the amount of times its back story has changed over the years. 

If I'd hired a professional photographer and they turned up with a white stick and a dog, I'd be looking around for the reanimated corpse of Jeremy fucking Beadle.

I miss my little Punkape.

 

[Guest judgetwi]

7 hours ago, Glowworm said:

£1000 plus for some jobs (not that I get any of those) but one way to make the bill look smaller than it actually will be at the end is to put (plus expenses). If I am £400 up at the end I will be happy .. better than Eric's £95 a night to stand out in the cold.

Bullshit. Never happened.

[Decimus]

6 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I miss my little Punkape.

 

Head here if you want to see him before his ban is up- 51.5129° N, 0.1323° W

[Guest judgetwi]

6 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I miss my little Punkape.

 

Poof

[Wolfie]

2 hours ago, Salty Piss Flap said:

The only thing that would have vastly improved your wedding photos is if the animal catchers from the zoo had arrived in time to remove you and the bride from the premises prior to them being taken...

Fucking vile abominable simian.

Isn't it time you stood down from your position as this site's most humourless cunt, Salty?

Some of your recent attempts at irony have been pathetically fucking American. It's as though you attempt to arm yourself by revising the dialogue of several sophisticated British sitcoms but end up spewing discourse from Friends or some wanky Steven Seagal film, before logging on and perpetually making a dickhead of yourself. Much to your blissful ignorance, you're being groomed and like-mined by Frank, but you're too inexperienced and too stupid to realise it. I'm embarrassed for you.

 

[Cuntybaws]

5 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Head here if you want to see him before his ban is up- 51.5129° N, 0.1323° W

Well done on getting the exact coordinates to the glory hole between the two toilet stalls. Commendable attention to detail.

[Decimus]

11 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

Isn't it time you stood down from your position as this site's most humourless cunt, Salty?

Some of your recent attempts at irony have been pathetically fucking American. It's as though you attempt to arm yourself by revising the dialogue of several sophisticated British sitcoms but end up spewing discourse from Friends or some wanky Steven Seagal film, before logging on and perpetually making a dickhead of yourself. Much to your blissful ignorance, you're being groomed and like-mined by Frank, but you're too inexperienced and too stupid to realise it. I'm embarrassed for you.

 

It just goes to show how absolutely fucking redundant Frank has become, that he's grooming the absolute dregs of Corner society instead of attempting to fuck them off. 

For someone without a victory to his name for the past three years, you'd think that Salty would present the perfect opportunity for him to get back on the horse. That he's become so fucking shit he doesn't believe in his ability to destroy a ProfB level simpleton speaks volumes about how far he has fallen.

@Frank, you're a complete fucking embarrassment.

[Eric Cuntman]

8 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Well done on getting the exact coordinates to the glory hole between the two toilet stalls. Commendable attention to detail.

I'm not googling it. I don't want to end up on a government cottaging watch list. 

[Eric Cuntman]

18 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Head here if you want to see him before his ban is up- 51.5129° N, 0.1323° W

You nailed it!

[Guest Salty Piss Flap]

39 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Well done on getting the exact coordinates to the glory hole between the two toilet stalls. Commendable attention to detail.

Not surprising he knows them by heart as he spends so much of his time on his knees in the very spot.

[Guest Salty Piss Flap]

42 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

Isn't it time you stood down from your position as this site's most humourless cunt, Salty?

Some of your recent attempts at irony have been pathetically fucking American. It's as though you attempt to arm yourself by revising the dialogue of several sophisticated British sitcoms but end up spewing discourse from Friends or some wanky Steven Seagal film, before logging on and perpetually making a dickhead of yourself. Much to your blissful ignorance, you're being groomed and like-mined by Frank, but you're too inexperienced and too stupid to realise it. I'm embarrassed for you.

I heard from @Stubby Pecker that Dreck-o won't even allow the likes of you two, to put flavored lube on his starfish before you clean it out with your tongues.

Is that true?

[Frank]

15 minutes ago, Salty Piss Flap said:

Not surprising he knows them by heart as he spends so much of his time on his knees in the very spot.

Salty I booked my new lady friend on a beginners skiing course at the dry/wet slope in Milton Keynes this afternoon. We’ll be staying at my chalet in Tignes over Christmas and New Year, and I was hoping she’d be keen on having a bit of a taster before we set off. After 30 minutes into a four hour one-2-one session, she packed it all in.. said she couldn’t do it. Not interested. I’m not convinced she’s the one for me. 

[Ape™️]

6 minutes ago, Frank said:

Salty I booked my new lady friend on a beginners skiing course at the dry/wet slope in Milton Keynes this afternoon. We’ll be staying at my chalet in Tignes over Christmas and New Year, and I was hoping she’d be keen on having a bit of a taster before we set off. After 30 minutes into a four hour one-2-one session, she packed it all in.. said she couldn’t do it. Not interested. I’m not convinced she’s the one for me. 

How absolutely fascinating. I hope you break your scrawny neck, you fucking weasel.

[Wolfie]

9 minutes ago, Salty Piss Flap said:

I heard from @Stubby Pecker that Dreck-o won't even allow the likes of you two, to put flavored lube on his starfish before you clean it out with your tongues.

Is that true?

Thank you for succinctly proving my point, and for responding like the frenzied little piranha we know you are.

[camberwell gypsy]

15 minutes ago, Salty Piss Flap said:

I heard from @Stubby Pecker that Dreck-o won't even allow the likes of you two, to put flavored lube on his starfish before you clean it out with your tongues.

Is that true?

For fuck sake, I was about to eat a chocolate cornetto. 

[Decimus]

20 minutes ago, Frank said:

Salty I booked my new lady friend on a beginners skiing course at the dry/wet slope in Milton Keynes this afternoon. We’ll be staying at my chalet in Tignes over Christmas and New Year, and I was hoping she’d be keen on having a bit of a taster before we set off. After 30 minutes into a four hour one-2-one session, she packed it all in.. said she couldn’t do it. Not interested. I’m not convinced she’s the one for me. 

Don't you think that your overly contrived attempts at surreal monologues wore thin five years ago?

Let's see what Salty comes up with in response, then we can all sit back and enjoy the nostalgia of you two couple of cunts taking us back to the comedy stoneage of 1987.

John gotta new motor!

Fucking idiot.

[Wolfie]

22 minutes ago, Frank said:

Salty I booked my new lady friend on a beginners skiing course at the dry/wet slope in Milton Keynes this afternoon. We’ll be staying at my chalet in Tignes over Christmas and New Year, and I was hoping she’d be keen on having a bit of a taster before we set off. After 30 minutes into a four hour one-2-one session, she packed it all in.. said she couldn’t do it. Not interested. I’m not convinced she’s the one for me. 

Of course, those who can afford chalets in Tignes – itself boasting a first-class beginner's area – generally visit ski Mecca Milton Keynes to warm themselves up.

Repetitive, presumptuous, predictable. Idiot.