Guest Poesklap Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 Ok, this fucking https://www.theguardian.com/stage/2019/feb/24/young-comics-verdict-standup-legend-bill-hicks article was in The Guardian, so yeah, expected, I guess…but, Chloe Petts, Rob Oldham, Ed Night,… your ‘safe’, inoffensive SJW rambling monologues certainly aren’t comedy, and nervously laughing at your own jokes doesn’t make it so. And Kemah Bob, your sigh-inducing, humourless routine about being a black, pansexual American is fun as linoleum in print, but hearing it delivered in your helium stoner squeak toy voice is marginally less pleasant than hearing my child scream in pain. None of you are worth the dribbled piss on an incontinent boomer’s flannel trousers. Go and get real jobs. Cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 22 minutes ago, Poesklap said: Ok, this fucking https://www.theguardian.com/stage/2019/feb/24/young-comics-verdict-standup-legend-bill-hicks article was in The Guardian, so yeah, expected, I guess…but, Chloe Petts, Rob Oldham, Ed Night,… your ‘safe’, inoffensive SJW rambling monologues certainly aren’t comedy, and nervously laughing at your own jokes doesn’t make it so. And Kemah Bob, your sigh-inducing, humourless routine about being a black, pansexual American is fun as linoleum in print, but hearing it delivered in your helium stoner squeak toy voice is marginally less pleasant than hearing my child scream in pain. None of you are worth the dribbled piss on an incontinent boomer’s flannel trousers. Go and get real jobs. Cunts. I was never a fan of Hicks, but that comes down more to a matter of personal taste. What can't be denied was that he was amazing at what he did, oft imitated (Leary you cunt) but never bettered. This current crop of limp wristed, safe-space dwelling eunuchs aren't fit to even call themselves comedians, so they've got some fucking nerve to review and critique one of the all time greats. That's like Carlton Palmer giving ball control tips to Lionel Messi. Brew Dog sipping cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 1 hour ago, Poesklap said: Chloe Petts, Rob Oldham, Ed Night, Kemah Bob... What a bunch of talentless cunts. Suck Satan's cock, the lot of you! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 Not a massive fan of Hicks but I could laugh at some of his stuff. I cannot say the same for any of the modern so called comedians. As I I've mentioned on here before, black and ethnic comedians wank on about their colour, female comedians about men and gay comedians just mince about. I've actually sat through a 'Live at the Apollo' and not laughed once. The only ones that have genuinely made me cry with laughter are: Billy Connolly, Dave Allen (who I saw live) and Mickey Flanagan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammer of Cunts Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 (edited) Humour doesn't cross cultural boundaries. Young people are more alien to grown-ups than ever before and their frames of reference don't chime with ours. They admire hypocrisy and taking offence. Censorious interference is not a new phenomenon: At least, in 1957, it could be derided. Edited March 4, 2020 by Mrs Roops Link Repair Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammer of Cunts Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 (edited) I bet this would upset a few as well: Edited March 4, 2020 by Mrs Roops Link Repair Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 14 minutes ago, Hammer of Cunts said: I bet this would upset a few as well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-9h1pjTP74 Get an avatar Hammer.......Suggest... 🔨 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 4 hours ago, Poesklap said: Ok, this fucking https://www.theguardian.com/stage/2019/feb/24/young-comics-verdict-standup-legend-bill-hicks article was in The Guardian, so yeah, expected, I guess…but, Chloe Petts, Rob Oldham, Ed Night,… your ‘safe’, inoffensive SJW rambling monologues certainly aren’t comedy, and nervously laughing at your own jokes doesn’t make it so. And Kemah Bob, your sigh-inducing, humourless routine about being a black, pansexual American is fun as linoleum in print, but hearing it delivered in your helium stoner squeak toy voice is marginally less pleasant than hearing my child scream in pain. None of you are worth the dribbled piss on an incontinent boomer’s flannel trousers. Go and get real jobs. Cunts. Good nomination. I'm finding myself getting angrier and angrier as each page of history flicks over to reveal tomorrow. I genuinely think the human race has run it's course. Let's all die of Hong Kong Flu-Ey and leave the birds and bunny rabbits to take their chances with the dogs and cats. Cunts Corner is, to me, a lifeboat containing the last of my kind. The majority of what passes for 'humanity' nowadays, make me physically fucking sick. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 (edited) 54 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Good nomination. I'm finding myself getting angrier and angrier as each page of history flicks over to reveal tomorrow. I genuinely think the human race has run it's course. Let's all die of Hong Kong Flu-Ey and leave the birds and bunny rabbits to take their chances with the dogs and cats. Cunts Corner is, to me, a lifeboat containing the last of my kind. The majority of what passes for 'humanity' nowadays, make me physically fucking sick. You're not fucking wrong. I've just gone for a drink after work and I've instantly had a run in with some young cunt. Said lanky, bearded student fucking wanker behind the bar asked me, without any hint of irony, how I would like my glass of wine. Namely, do I want it in a wine glass, or a pint glass, with ice. I blame the generation of parents that have raised these perverts. I'm too young to fall into that category, but there are some useless middle aged cunts knocking around the nation who clearly took their eyes off the ball whilst raising this generation of fucking weirdos. Edited March 4, 2020 by Decimus Wine's not gay, fuck off. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammer of Cunts Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 When I was young and skint enough to work behind a bar, pubs didn't sell wine and lager was for women, puffs and foreigners. Real men drank mild. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 18 minutes ago, Hammer of Cunts said: When I was young and skint enough to work behind a bar, pubs didn't sell wine and lager was for women, puffs and foreigners. Real men drank mild. You sound suspiciously northern. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 20 minutes ago, Hammer of Cunts said: When I was young and skint enough to work behind a bar, pubs didn't sell wine and lager was for women, puffs and foreigners. Real men drank mild. You’ve spelled milk wrong. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 22 minutes ago, Hammer of Cunts said: When I was young and skint enough to work behind a bar, pubs didn't sell wine and lager was for women, puffs and foreigners. Real men drank mild. When was this exactly? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 Just now, camberwell gypsy said: When was this exactly? Early Jacobean period. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 3 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: When was this exactly? 1845, Pontefract Working Men's club. Pen was the barmaid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 18 minutes ago, Decimus said: You're not fucking wrong. I've just gone for a drink after work and I've instantly had a run in with some young cunt. Said lanky, bearded student fucking wanker behind the bar asked me, without any hint of irony, how I would like my glass of wine. Namely, do I want it in a wine glass, or a pint glass, with ice. I blame the generation of parents that have raised these perverts. I'm too young to fall into that category, but there are some useless middle aged cunts knocking around the nation who clearly took their eyes off the ball whilst raising this generation of fucking weirdos. I was similarly enraged the last time I went into the cafe at Asda. I asked for a cup of coffee and a bacon stick. "What's a bacon stick?" I replied, 'a bacon roll made with French bread'. "Oh, we've only got normal rolls, do you want butter on it?" Firstly, they have a bakery 50 yards away, so a bit of French bread isn't much of a problem, and secondly, since when did butter in a sandwich stop being normal and become an extra that needs requesting? And trying to explain to the retard that a cup of coffee can be made with a kettle and a spoon is another matter. 'Nescafe, 2 sugars, hot water, milk. Shove your Fair-Trade Choccochino skinny latte up your fucking arse you pond life cunt'. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 5 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: I was similarly enraged the last time I went into the cafe at Asda. I asked for a cup of coffee and a bacon stick. "What's a bacon stick?" I replied, 'a bacon roll made with French bread'. "Oh, we've only got normal rolls, do you want butter on it?" Firstly, they have a bakery 50 yards away, so a bit of French bread isn't much of a problem, and secondly, since when did butter in a sandwich stop being normal and become an extra that needs requesting? And trying to explain to the retard that a cup of coffee can be made with a kettle and a spoon is another matter. 'Nescafe, 2 sugars, hot water, milk. Shove your Fair-Trade Choccochino skinny latte up your fucking arse you pond life cunt'. Is that a Grande? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 3 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: I was similarly enraged the last time I went into the cafe at Asda. I asked for a cup of coffee and a bacon stick. "What's a bacon stick?" I replied, 'a bacon roll made with French bread'. "Oh, we've only got normal rolls, do you want butter on it?" Firstly, they have a bakery 50 yards away, so a bit of French bread isn't much of a problem, and secondly, since when did butter in a sandwich stop being normal and become an extra that needs requesting? And trying to explain to the retard that a cup of coffee can be made with a kettle and a spoon is another matter. 'Nescafe, 2 sugars, hot water, milk. Shove your Fair-Trade Choccochino skinny latte up your fucking arse you pond life cunt'. This. I'm driven fucking crazy by the Spanish inquisition that ensues everytime I use our staff canteen to get a bacon roll. "Do you want ordinary bacon, Turkey bacon, or vegetarian bacon? Is that on white, granary or wholemeal? Butter, spread or nothing?" I want three fucking rashers of pig on white bread with plenty of butter as I'm not a fucking homosexual, you useless minimum wage cunt. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 3 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Is that a Grande? I wouldn't know, I don't suck cocks or wear pink. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 3 minutes ago, Decimus said: This. I'm driven fucking crazy by the Spanish inquisition that ensues everytime I use our staff canteen to get a bacon roll. "Do you want ordinary bacon, Turkey bacon, or vegetarian bacon? Is that on white, granary or wholemeal? Butter, spread or nothing?" I want three fucking rashers of pig on white bread with plenty of butter as I'm not a fucking homosexual, you useless minimum wage cunt. Out of likes, but this sums it up perfectly. If I worked in a cafe and had to make someone a bacon sarnie, it's straightforward. Cook bacon 'til it's sizzling and semi browned, butter fresh bread and put together. If Muslims, vegans and faggots don't like normal food, I would suggest an alternative lunch of 80 paracetamol, washed down with Harpic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 24 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Out of likes, but this sums it up perfectly. If I worked in a cafe and had to make someone a bacon sarnie, it's straightforward. Cook bacon 'til it's sizzling and semi browned, butter fresh bread and put together. If Muslims, vegans and faggots don't like normal food, I would suggest an alternative lunch of 80 paracetamol, washed down with Harpic. "Can I have an ordinary white coffee, please" "Is that a flat white you need"? "Need? I want an ordinary white coffee please". "You mean a flat white". "What, as opposed to a hilly white"? "A flat white". "What's a flat white"? "It's an ordinary white coffee" "Fuck sake. Yes". "Is that a grande, medial or approximo"? "Ah fuck it. I'm going" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammer of Cunts Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 34 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: When was this exactly? Within living memory. One day Bob, the landlord bought a case of Stella to try and we sort of looked at it and poked it with a stick. It wasn't until an away quoits match in town. where they had it on draught, that we realised that it's meant to be cold. Bob was too tight to buy a chiller so he never got any more in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 2 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: "Can I have an ordinary white coffee, please" "Is that a flat white you need"? "Need? I want an ordinary white coffee please". "You mean a flat white". "What, as opposed to a hilly white"? "A flat white". "What's a flat white"? "It's an ordinary white coffee" "Fuck sake. Yes". "Is that a grande, medial or approximo"? "Ah fuck it. I'm going" I'm beginning to understand those people who lose the plot and go on killing sprees. I think the film 'Falling Down' hit the nail on the head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 3 minutes ago, Hammer of Cunts said: Within living memory. One day Bob, the landlord bought a case of Stella to try and we sort of looked at it and poked it with a stick. It wasn't until an away quoits match in town. where they had it on draught, that we realised that it's meant to be cold. Bob was too tight to buy a chiller so he never got any more in. 'Stick to the roads.. Stay off the moors' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammer of Cunts Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 It wasn't the sort of pub where strangers were welcome. Happy times! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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