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Cunts who ring you up and the first thing they say is "So how are you today?"


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On 04/03/2020 at 23:59, judgetwi said:

He would have found it impossible anyway with that  horse trailer on the back. Lucky the fat bloke wasn’t the farmer he just nicked it off.

At first I thought our gypo might have stumbled across you on a mid morning White Lightning run. However the absence of a mobility scooter, and the fact that you've never left your bungalow in 25 years clearly rules you out.

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The one that really gets on my tits, is over helpful shop staff, especially when there's only a few punters in there. So I pop into Hugo Boss as a sales on with the idea of grabbing a few bargain's. Within 1 minute of entering the store I'm accosted by a vision of female perfection. This bird was absolutely smoking hot which disarmed me for a brief moment. Then they follow you around like a fucking guide dog suggesting shit I don't like. Now whenever this happens I reply with a curt no thanks, i know what I'm after. Although I'll always check the merchandise she's wearing in true Neil style. 

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4 hours ago, Major Cunt said:

The one that really gets on my tits, is over helpful shop staff, especially when there's only a few punters in there. So I pop into Hugo Boss as a sales on with the idea of grabbing a few bargain's. Within 1 minute of entering the store I'm accosted by a vision of female perfection. This bird was absolutely smoking hot which disarmed me for a brief moment. Then they follow you around like a fucking guide dog suggesting shit I don't like. Now whenever this happens I reply with a curt no thanks, i know what I'm after. Although I'll always check the merchandise she's wearing in true Neil style. 

Try raping her next time, also in true Neil style.

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  • 2 months later...
On 05/03/2020 at 18:27, Poesklap said:

My absolute piss-boiler is shop staff and clerks who greet you with "Fine thanks, and you?" before I've said a fucking word. A small irritation but just another symptom of this increasingly sleep-walking, mouth-breathing, blank screens-saver-faced human race shuffling blindly into the abyss. "We're a virus with shoes." as our lord and saviour Bill Hicks put it.

The return of Andy Warhol’s rent boy.

Fuck off.

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49 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

3 month's its taken you to come up with an answer to this. And it's still shite. 

It takes 3 months to unglue his spunk coated eyelids to read it

lol

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On 08/06/2020 at 23:20, King Billy said:

I’d be careful opening your mouth too wide near him.

No worries. I’m polite, and cover my mouth when I yawn. Manners make the man, especially when shielding oneself from the blood, shit, and gobbets of stringy man spunk that dribble from Punker’s Sailor’s Fuckmaw every time he sighs out some irrelevance. 

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