Guest FuckOff Posted August 5, 2020 Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 Some cunt here mentioned that servicing my Seat Toledo is cheap. Not so. Although I don’t have a Seat in my collection I have started work on renovating my Lamborghini (I’ll post up pix when the derision dies down). I pulled out the engine and started to strip it down, the two clutch plates were badly worn so a trip to San Pedro de Alcantara this morning to get them sent off to Málaga for new facings. I’ve replaced the release bearings with pattern parts not Lambo OEM stuff. The heads came off easily ready for cleaning and grinding in the valves. The cylinder bores look OK with no steps. The pistons also came out fairly easily, however I noticed that there was one broken ring. So tomorrow I’m biting on the bullet and taking the cylinders and pistons to a specialist workshop in Algeciras, Cádiz province where they will I’m sure, at great expense, hone the bores and fit new piston rings. I’m doing all of this outside in 35ºC+ heat and getting burnt to bits.(it was 43.5ºC here last Saturday). What a cunt I hear you all thinking, and you’re correct. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted August 5, 2020 Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 8 minutes ago, FuckOff said: Some cunt here mentioned that servicing my Seat Toledo is cheap. Not so. Although I don’t have a Seat in my collection I have started work on renovating my Lamborghini (I’ll post up pix when the derision dies down). I pulled out the engine and started to strip it down, the two clutch plates were badly worn so a trip to San Pedro de Alcantara this morning to get them sent off to Málaga for new facings. I’ve replaced the release bearings with pattern parts not Lambo OEM stuff. The heads came off easily ready for cleaning and grinding in the valves. The cylinder bores look OK with no steps. The pistons also came out fairly easily, however I noticed that there was one broken ring. So tomorrow I’m biting on the bullet and taking the cylinders and pistons to a specialist workshop in Algeciras, Cádiz province where they will I’m sure, at great expense, hone the bores and fit new piston rings. I’m doing all of this outside in 35ºC+ heat and getting burnt to bits.(it was 43.5ºC here last Saturday). What a cunt I hear you all thinking, and you’re correct. Wouldn't be seen dead in a Lambo, or a Ferrari, or a fucking Porche. All puff cars for sad old men who think it turns them into Lewis fucking Hamilton, or trust fund brats to wrap themselves around lamp posts and die (admittedly hilariously) screaming in the twisted wreckage as the inevitable fire slowly engulfs them. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted August 5, 2020 Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 18 minutes ago, FuckOff said: I pulled out the engine and started to strip it down, the two clutch plates were badly worn so a trip to San Pedro de Alcantara this morning to get them sent off to Málaga fo new facings. I’m doing all of this outside in 35ºC+ heat and getting burnt to bits.(it was 43.5ºC here last Saturday). Have you just served a cheap plate of Jamon Iberico to a little Greek-looking man with a Jeremy Beadle foot? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted August 5, 2020 Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 Christ on a bike - what an absolute wanker you are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest FuckOff Posted August 5, 2020 Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 1 hour ago, Wolfie said: Have you just served a cheap plate of Jamon Iberico You must be psychic, I've just enjoyed three very thin slices of jamon serrano (la paleta) as a 'tapita' with a couple of glasses of local moscatel vino. Cena or supper here starts at around 22 hrs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest FuckOff Posted August 5, 2020 Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 11 minutes ago, Ape™️ said: Christ on a bike - what an absolute wanker you are. Not you again, please just fuck off and leave discussion to more articulate members. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted August 5, 2020 Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 9 minutes ago, FuckOff said: Not you again, please just fuck off and leave discussion to more articulate members. Please explain what the fuck your imaginary dismantling of your imaginary Lamborghini has to do with naming the cunts of the world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest FuckOff Posted August 5, 2020 Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 1 hour ago, Roadkill said: Wouldn't be seen dead in a Lambo, or a Ferrari, or a fucking Porche. All puff cars for sad old men who think it turns them into Lewis fucking Hamilton, or trust fund brats to wrap themselves around lamp posts and die (admittedly hilariously) screaming in the twisted wreckage as the inevitable fire slowly engulfs them. This guy wasn't killed but as we passed his Ferrari last Saturday, I thought 'That's a write off' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted August 5, 2020 Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 1 hour ago, FuckOff said: Some cunt here mentioned that servicing my Seat Toledo is cheap. Not so. Although I don’t have a Seat in my collection I have started work on renovating my Lamborghini (I’ll post up pix when the derision dies down). I pulled out the engine and started to strip it down, the two clutch plates were badly worn so a trip to San Pedro de Alcantara this morning to get them sent off to Málaga for new facings. I’ve replaced the release bearings with pattern parts not Lambo OEM stuff. The heads came off easily ready for cleaning and grinding in the valves. The cylinder bores look OK with no steps. The pistons also came out fairly easily, however I noticed that there was one broken ring. So tomorrow I’m biting on the bullet and taking the cylinders and pistons to a specialist workshop in Algeciras, Cádiz province where they will I’m sure, at great expense, hone the bores and fit new piston rings. I’m doing all of this outside in 35ºC+ heat and getting burnt to bits.(it was 43.5ºC here last Saturday). What a cunt I hear you all thinking, and you’re correct. Have you ever changed the gearbox on a front wheel drive Triumph 1500? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest FuckOff Posted August 5, 2020 Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 6 minutes ago, Ape™️ said: Please explain what the fuck your imaginary dismantling of your imaginary Lamborghini has to do with naming the cunts of the world. Didn't I just mention you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted August 5, 2020 Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 2 minutes ago, FuckOff said: This guy wasn't killed but as we passed his Ferrari last Saturday, I thought 'That's a write off' What’s wrong with you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest FuckOff Posted August 5, 2020 Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 1 minute ago, Dawn Chorus said: Have you ever changed the gearbox on a front wheel drive Triumph 1500? No, but it sounds like pain in the arse. Is it a transverse engine? When I lived in the UK I took the gearbox out of my 1968 Triumph TR5, but that was easy. The only transverse engine that I've removed was from a Mk1 Freelander, and that was a bastard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest FuckOff Posted August 5, 2020 Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 4 minutes ago, Ape™️ said: What’s wrong with you? Why the fuck can't you just read what members write e.g." Wouldn't be seen dead in a Lambo, or a Ferrari," Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted August 5, 2020 Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 Just now, FuckOff said: Why the fuck can't you just read what members write e.g." Wouldn't be seen dead in a Lambo, or a Ferrari," Oh, so starting a thread entitled Seat Toledo servicing, in which you tell us about your supposed dismantling of a Lamborghini engine, is really designed to spark a debate about which supercars people don’t like and wouldn’t be seen dead in? How silly of me - it’s obvious now I think about it. Fucking idiot. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted August 5, 2020 Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 Presumably an old 8 cylinder lambo engine as what sort of cunt would you have to be to strip the cylinders out of the Audi V10. I'm surprised you only found one broken piston ring though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted August 5, 2020 Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 12 minutes ago, FuckOff said: No, but it sounds like pain in the arse. Is it a transverse engine? When I lived in the UK I took the gearbox out of my 1968 Triumph TR5, but that was easy. The only transverse engine that I've removed was from a Mk1 Freelander, and that was a bastard. Lengthways engine really strange. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted August 5, 2020 Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 Paging @Cuntybaws - 3.4% for this cunt. That’s got to be a record? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest FuckOff Posted August 5, 2020 Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 8 minutes ago, Ape™️ said: Fucking idiot. Well done for addressing yourself correctly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest FuckOff Posted August 5, 2020 Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 5 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said: Presumably an old 8 cylinder lambo engine as what sort of cunt would you have to be to strip the cylinders out of the Audi V10. I'm surprised you only found one broken piston ring though. Not 8 cylinders, but apart from one broken ring, several were gummed up hence loss of compression. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest FuckOff Posted August 5, 2020 Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 4 minutes ago, Ape™️ said: Paging @Cuntybaws - 3.4% for this cunt. That’s got to be a record? Yapp, yap, yappity yap, you're like a fucking little yappy miniature dog, yapping around my heels, so just fuck off before I boot you in the bollocks (If you have any) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammer of Cunts Posted August 5, 2020 Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 2 hours ago, FuckOff said: Some cunt here mentioned that servicing my Seat Toledo is cheap. Not so. Although I don’t have a Seat in my collection I have started work on renovating my Lamborghini (I’ll post up pix when the derision dies down). I pulled out the engine and started to strip it down, the two clutch plates were badly worn so a trip to San Pedro de Alcantara this morning to get them sent off to Málaga for new facings. I’ve replaced the release bearings with pattern parts not Lambo OEM stuff. The heads came off easily ready for cleaning and grinding in the valves. The cylinder bores look OK with no steps. The pistons also came out fairly easily, however I noticed that there was one broken ring. So tomorrow I’m biting on the bullet and taking the cylinders and pistons to a specialist workshop in Algeciras, Cádiz province where they will I’m sure, at great expense, hone the bores and fit new piston rings. I’m doing all of this outside in 35ºC+ heat and getting burnt to bits.(it was 43.5ºC here last Saturday). What a cunt I hear you all thinking, and you’re correct. Have you thought of building a shed? Aren't there specialist sites for this kind of thing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted August 5, 2020 Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 35 minutes ago, FuckOff said: This guy wasn't killed but as we passed his Ferrari last Saturday, I thought 'That's a write off' Closest I ever got to something like that was ripping open a full bag of fucking cat litter on the handbrake of my Skoda Yeti. Still had bits in the seat rails and foot heaters when I traded it in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 5, 2020 Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 35 minutes ago, Ape™️ said: What’s wrong with you? Serious 'look at me!' Complex. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted August 5, 2020 Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 9 minutes ago, FuckOff said: Yapp, yap, yappity yap, you're like a fucking little yappy miniature dog, yapping around my heels, so just fuck off before I boot you in the bollocks (If you have any) Please, don’t let me distract you from your car maintenance thread. Perhaps you can share the procedure for setting the valve clearances on your engine, or setting the cam timing? That would be fascinating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted August 5, 2020 Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said: Serious 'look at me!' Complex. It’s fucking staggering. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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