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Seat Toledo Servicing

Guest FuckOff

By Guest FuckOff
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Cuntybaws

Cuntybaws

Posted
Posted
20 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

It's Sean5302 isn't it. 

Nah, he hasn't threatened to sue us yet.

On a semi-related note, I'd take the XJR over any equivalently priced Italian car any day of the week, although I have to admit that Sean had a point about the panel gaps.

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Eric Cuntman

Eric Cuntman

Posted
Posted
7 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Nah, he hasn't threatened to sue us yet.

On a semi-related note, I'd take the XJR over any equivalently priced Italian car any day of the week, although I have to admit that Sean had a point about the panel gaps.

If I wanted a low slung road rocket, I'd definitely opt for a Nissan GTR. All the performance, 5 times the reliability, and a third of the price. Comes out of the dealership with a top speed of 175mph. Give them a couple of hundred quid and they'll plug it into a laptop and give it 200 mph. And handling that embarrasses prancing horses. So much grip that they had to put concentric Knurling on the rims to stop the tyres being ripped off in the corners.

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Cuntybaws

Cuntybaws

Posted
Posted
5 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

If I wanted a low slung road rocket, I'd definitely opt for a Nissan GTR. All the performance, 5 times the reliability, and a third of the price. Comes out of the dealership with a top speed of 175mph. Give them a couple of hundred quid and they'll plug it into a laptop and give it 200 mph. And handling that embarrasses prancing horses. So much grip that they had to put concentric Knurling on the rims to stop the tyres being ripped off in the corners.

175mph is the same top speed as the XJR,  although admittedly it's not nearly as fast 0-60. There's not much to choose between them in the mid-range, though, when the supercharger kicks in. Mind you, the Jag does just also happen to be a boat-sized luxury sedan with every toy known to man.

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Roadkill

Roadkill

Posted
Posted
Just now, Eric Cuntman said:

If I wanted a low slung road rocket, I'd definitely opt for a Nissan GTR. All the performance, 5 times the reliability, and a third of the price. Comes out of the dealership with a top speed of 175mph. Give them a couple of hundred quid and they'll plug it into a laptop and give it 200 mph. And handling that embarrasses prancing horses. So much grip that they had to put concentric Knurling on the rims to stop the tyres being ripped off in the corners.

The GTR is a nice bit of kit. They were pissing on the Skyline's grave for quite a while, so its nice to see a bit of honourable tribute to it in the GTR.

 

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Eric Cuntman

Eric Cuntman

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Cuntybaws said:

175mph is the same top speed as the XJR,  although admittedly it's not nearly as fast 0-60. There's not much to choose between them in the mid-range, though, when the supercharger kicks in. Mind you, the Jag does just also happen to be a boat-sized luxury sedan with every toy known to man.

Clarkson drove a GTR across Japan for a Top Gear challenge. On discovering that Jap speed cameras zero in on the drivers face, he donned a cardboard cutout mask of Bill Oddie every time he broke the speed limit.

The demise of the Clarkson, Hamster, May team, surely ranks among the entertainment industry's biggest fuck-ups.

Chris Evans is a cunt. (Not the Captain America one, he's alright)

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Cuntybaws

Cuntybaws

Posted
Posted
11 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Chris Evans is a cunt. (Not the Captain America one, he's alright)

I was glad Cap ended up with Agent Carter, even though I always thought she was a bit of a useless cunt.

Not so pleased when he handed over his shield to a black, though.

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Eric Cuntman

Eric Cuntman

Posted
Posted
11 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

I was glad Cap ended up with Agent Carter, even though I always thought she was a bit of a useless cunt.

Not so pleased when he handed over his shield to a black, though.

No doubt you saw him in 'Gifted'. Where he plays the devoted stepfather of a 10 year old maths genius. He can do proper acting when he gets the chance. 

Avoid 'Snowpiercer'... a perpetually running, super high-tec nuclear train, which turns out to be dependent on a small child cranking a lever attached to a big brass cog!  Total shite.

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Roadkill

Roadkill

Posted
Posted
Just now, Eric Cuntman said:

Clarkson drove a GTR across Japan for a Top Gear challenge. On discovering that Jap speed cameras zero in on the drivers face, he donned a cardboard cutout mask of Bill Oddie every time he broke the speed limit.

The demise of the Clarkson, Hamster, May team, surely ranks among the entertainment industry's biggest fuck-ups.

Chris Evans is a cunt. (Not the Captain America one, he's alright)

Evans isn't even on it anymore, although I don't know who the fuck is now. No one liked the character-acting little ginger cunt, everyone wanted Matt LeBlanc to be Joey but just got a somewhat tame, out of his depth host that honestly just seemed a bit lost and sad.

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Eric Cuntman

Eric Cuntman

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Roadkill said:

Evans isn't even on it anymore, although I don't know who the fuck is now. No one liked the character-acting little ginger cunt, everyone wanted Matt LeBlanc to be Joey but just got a somewhat tame, out of his depth host that honestly just seemed a bit lost and sad.

It was Flintoff and Paddy McGuinness last time I checked. Two thick northern wankers with a combined IQ that wouldn't challenge a Downs syndrome lettuce.

Oh yeah, there's also that shortarsed pakistani looking cunt whose name nobody can remember.

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Guest FuckOff

Guest FuckOff

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, Roadkill said:

Is it at least fast when it works? For a tractor, I mean.

No way, it only revs up to around 2000 RPM,. The fastest I've been on it was when I was reversing up a steep gradient and one of the tracks went over a stone and rolled it over, I hit the ground running. 

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Guest FuckOff

Guest FuckOff

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, King Billy said:

I used to have a place in Marbella, opposite the Puenta Romano hotel. I lived there for seven years but to be honest the winters got so boring, same people, same social life (Milady Palace) etc. that I sold up and moved back to London. Sometimes I wish I’d stayed over there, but not that often. I’ve always liked SAN Pedro and Estepona and could never stand the ponciness of Puerto Banus.

So you would remember the cinema at Puerto Banus that would show English language films ?

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King Billy

King Billy

Posted
Posted
59 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

If I wanted a low slung road rocket, I'd definitely opt for a Nissan GTR. All the performance, 5 times the reliability, and a third of the price. Comes out of the dealership with a top speed of 175mph. Give them a couple of hundred quid and they'll plug it into a laptop and give it 200 mph. And handling that embarrasses prancing horses. So much grip that they had to put concentric Knurling on the rims to stop the tyres being ripped off in the corners.

Who wouldn’t want a bit of concentric knurling on their rim?

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King Billy

King Billy

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, FuckOff said:

So you would remember the cinema at Puerto Banus that would show English language films ?

Yeah I know it although I’ve never been in it. Behind the front line at the Marbella end of the port. I’ve never been much of a cinema goer.

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Stubby Pecker

Stubby Pecker

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Dawn Chorus said:

If you ask him nicely he might be able to fix that wheelbarrow for you.

The "look at me" ponce would probably try to put a Lamborghini tractor engine on the cunt.

I use it to take the stubblets for fun rides round the garden. It's great being a parent of live children

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King Billy

King Billy

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Roadkill said:

The GTR is a nice bit of kit. They were pissing on the Skyline's grave for quite a while, so its nice to see a bit of honourable tribute to it in the GTR.

 

I had an R33 Skyline a while back. Bought it at the Japanese import auction at Tilbury Dock. Serious piece of kit in its day but the interior was exactly like a Nissan Sunny, cheap and plasticy but prices for decent ones are going through the roof recently. R34 prices are already going for mental money.

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Guest FuckOff

Guest FuckOff

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

 

I think Peugot [sic] started out making coffee grinders and pushbikes. Jeremy Clarkson is responsible for a large part of my education.

Not James gay?
At one time I shared the same daily drive MB model as Clarkson a quite few years back. (My image upload quota has been castrated to :- You are only allowed to upload 10.24kB .) so can't post photo unless you have a microscope. If it's only the 6th. of the month and bandwidth has been capped. FFS Roopsy change hosts or restore a bit more bandwidth or is this one of the "Big Guns" being deployed? 
There is also a video with Vikki Anderson driving my old model comparing it to an SL Gay.
 https://trshow.info/watch/JSZYw3Q0bG4/5th-gear-mercedes-sl-55-amg-vs-slk-55-amg.html

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Guest FuckOff

Guest FuckOff

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Bubs, although I hate your fuck guts, in the absence of nasty smart arse cunts like bill and decs, we need your vileness to destroy this wanker

And I thought that you liked me?

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