Guest Weary&Disgusted Posted August 19, 2020 Report Share Posted August 19, 2020 Without naming any names, there is a certain trial which is currently being delayed because the defendant is refusing to leave his cell to go the courtroom. Because the UK is a civilised nation, the defendant hasn't been given a brisk beating and then been dragged out of the cells to face sentencing like a man. Instead the judge has said something like "Well, I can't force him to leave his cell". I don't know very much about our criminal justice system, but surely there must be a contingency process to deal with this type of foot dragging by the defendant ? I wholeheartedly believe in a person's right to a fair trial, but some people just take the mick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trucking Funt Posted August 19, 2020 Report Share Posted August 19, 2020 1 hour ago, Weary&Disgusted said: Without naming any names, there is a certain trial which is currently being delayed because the defendant is refusing to leave his cell to go the courtroom. Because the UK is a civilised nation, the defendant hasn't been given a brisk beating and then been dragged out of the cells to face sentencing like a man. Instead the judge has said something like "Well, I can't force him to leave his cell". I don't know very much about our criminal justice system, but surely there must be a contingency process to deal with this type of foot dragging by the defendant ? I wholeheartedly believe in a person's right to a fair trial, but some people just take the mick. The filthy terrorist cunt knows the key is getting thrown away and this is going to be the last time he will ever have control over anything in his miserable life. Let him have his little protest but make him eat pork for the duration of his stay as a guest of Her Majesty and have Songs of Praise as the only thing available on the TV in his cell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Weary&Disgusted Posted August 19, 2020 Report Share Posted August 19, 2020 56 minutes ago, Trucking Funt said: The filthy terrorist cunt knows the key is getting thrown away and this is going to be the last time he will ever have control over anything in his miserable life. Let him have his little protest but make him eat pork for the duration of his stay as a guest of Her Majesty and have Songs of Praise as the only thing available on the TV in his cell. So this farmer goes into his cattle barn in January to find all of his beasts are frozen solid. He calls on all the saints for help in utter desperation. A few moments later his son shouts from across the farmyard to say that there is a little old lady who is saying she has come to see the cows. His son brings the lady over and they both look at the frozen cows in horror. But then the old lady dances around the cattle singing some old hymns. Suddenly the cows shed their icy coats and start to regain some of their colour, and start lowing like healthy beasts. The little old lady nods to herself and then promptly vanishes. The farmer's son is astonished and asks his father "Who was that singing lady ?". The farmer smiles and replies " Thora Hird". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted August 19, 2020 Report Share Posted August 19, 2020 14 minutes ago, Weary&Disgusted said: So this farmer goes into his cattle barn in January to find all of his beasts are frozen solid. He calls on all the saints for help in utter desperation. A few moments later his son shouts from across the farmyard to say that there is a little old lady who is saying she has come to see the cows. His son brings the lady over and they both look at the frozen cows in horror. But then the old lady dances around the cattle singing some old hymns. Suddenly the cows shed their icy coats and start to regain some of their colour, and start lowing like healthy beasts. The little old lady nods to herself and then promptly vanishes. The farmer's son is astonished and asks his father "Who was that singing lady ?". The farmer smiles and replies " Thora Hird". MY grandaughter is 7 and even she wouldnt fucking laugh at that shit,up you fucking game man 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Weary&Disgusted Posted August 19, 2020 Report Share Posted August 19, 2020 5 minutes ago, Neil said: MY grandaughter is 7 and even she wouldnt fucking laugh at that shit,up you fucking game man Okay Neil, I will work on my material Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 19, 2020 Report Share Posted August 19, 2020 1 hour ago, Weary&Disgusted said: So this farmer goes into his cattle barn in January to find all of his beasts are frozen solid. He calls on all the saints for help in utter desperation. A few moments later his son shouts from across the farmyard to say that there is a little old lady who is saying she has come to see the cows. His son brings the lady over and they both look at the frozen cows in horror. But then the old lady dances around the cattle singing some old hymns. Suddenly the cows shed their icy coats and start to regain some of their colour, and start lowing like healthy beasts. The little old lady nods to herself and then promptly vanishes. The farmer's son is astonished and asks his father "Who was that singing lady ?". The farmer smiles and replies " Thora Hird". A man is driving his 7 year old son to school. They are driving behind a dust cart, the wind blows some rubbish off the back and a plastic dildo bounces off the car windscreen. The little boy says, "what was that dad?". The father, embarrassed, says, "it was a bumblebee son". The kid replies "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock that size". 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 19, 2020 Report Share Posted August 19, 2020 5 hours ago, Weary&Disgusted said: Without naming any names, there is a certain trial which is currently being delayed because the defendant is refusing to leave his cell to go the courtroom. Because the UK is a civilised nation, the defendant hasn't been given a brisk beating and then been dragged out of the cells to face sentencing like a man. Instead the judge has said something like "Well, I can't force him to leave his cell". I don't know very much about our criminal justice system, but surely there must be a contingency process to deal with this type of foot dragging by the defendant ? I wholeheartedly believe in a person's right to a fair trial, but some people just take the mick. I think he should be allowed to stay in his cell, as long as I'm allowed to visit with a 4 lb lump hammer and a Stanley knife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted August 20, 2020 Report Share Posted August 20, 2020 He'll get buggered just like Postman Pat did Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gronda Gronda Posted August 20, 2020 Report Share Posted August 20, 2020 On 20/08/2020 at 02:07, Weary&Disgusted said: Okay Neil, I will work on my material Perhaps something like this: Q) What is a frog's favourite drink? A) Croakacola Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 20, 2020 Report Share Posted August 20, 2020 8 minutes ago, Gronda Gronda said: Perhaps something like this: Q) What is a frog's favourite drink? A) Croakacola A little boy walks up to his grandfather and says... "grandad, make a noise like a frog" the old man says... "why son?" The kid replies... "Mum said that when you croak, we're going to Disneyland!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingRollo Posted August 21, 2020 Report Share Posted August 21, 2020 On 20/08/2020 at 21:31, Gronda Gronda said: Perhaps something like this: Q) What is a frog's favourite drink? A) Croakacola That sounds like a joke from one of Wizard's Christmas Crackers. Have you been on the sherry, GG? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 21, 2020 Report Share Posted August 21, 2020 1 minute ago, KingRollo said: That sounds like a joke from one of Wizard's Christmas Crackers. Have you been on the sherry, GG? How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts? ..wi' jam in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gronda Gronda Posted August 22, 2020 Report Share Posted August 22, 2020 5 hours ago, KingRollo said: That sounds like a joke from one of Wizard's Christmas Crackers. Have you been on the sherry, GG? What’s a ghost's favourite food? Spookghetti. That classic won the Arg funny-plant contest for several years in a row! It won again this year. The runner-up joke was this: Ever notice how noses run and feet smell? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingRollo Posted August 23, 2020 Report Share Posted August 23, 2020 On 22/08/2020 at 02:38, Gronda Gronda said: What’s a ghost's favourite food? Spookghetti. That classic won the Arg funny-plant contest for several years in a row! It won again this year. The runner-up joke was this: Ever notice how noses run and feet smell? Why did the pony have to gargle? Because it was a little hoarse! (Or some predictable Punkape comment...) Your Arg funny-plant contest needs a new judge. Which idiot pronounced that joke the winner? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gronda Gronda Posted August 23, 2020 Report Share Posted August 23, 2020 12 minutes ago, KingRollo said: Why did the pony have to gargle? Because it was a little hoarse! (Or some predictable Punkape comment...) Your Arg funny-plant contest needs a new judge. Which idiot pronounced that joke the winner? Queen Gwen! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingRollo Posted August 23, 2020 Report Share Posted August 23, 2020 5 minutes ago, Gronda Gronda said: Queen Gwen! That explains a lot, GG. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted August 24, 2020 Report Share Posted August 24, 2020 On 23/08/2020 at 10:44, KingRollo said: Why did the pony have to gargle? Because it was a little hoarse! (Or some predictable Punkape comment...) Your Arg funny-plant contest needs a new judge. Which idiot pronounced that joke the winner? Fuck off Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.