Public gatherings of more than six people in pubs restaurants ect banned from monday

[Eric Cuntman]

4 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Have you all been feeling unwell? Because apparently thousands of 'worried well' cunts have been taking up tests when they don't need to. 

This chinky cold has brought the worst out in the human race. 

You've hit the nail on the head. The 'rise in cases' is nothing more than a few cunts catching a cold because the weather's changed. 

A massive load of Orwellian 1984 bollocks, and a bunch of politicians loving the power trip. 

[camberwell gypsy]

58 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

You've hit the nail on the head. The 'rise in cases' is nothing more than a few cunts catching a cold because the weather's changed. 

A massive load of Orwellian 1984 bollocks, and a bunch of politicians loving the power trip. 

I remember when we had the swine flu. I had this "gangsta" cunt come in. He had all the fucking regalia; loud tracksuit, sunglasses, headband. He looked like one if these cunts on a rap video. He thought he had swine flu when he just had a  sniffles. He fucking blubbered like a toddler. The cunt even wanted a second opinion. So I told him he was a fucking tit as well*

*that bit wasn't true.

[Guest Weary&Disgusted]

6 hours ago, Jiggerycock said:

So by 'long-term' you mean 'a few months'.

There's a future ahead of you as the CEO of a FTSE 100 compay, failing that, a politician, with that sense of the collapsability of time.

As I understand it there are a tiny number of people who get it and then have some form of "chronic fatigue" which they apparently don't recover from.  I don't wish to disparage the suffering of these folks, but they are in a micro minority.  

[Earl of Punkape]

3 hours ago, Witheredscrote said:

I never thought he was a poof, he hasn't the imagination.  Ape on the other hand?  It's amazing what he can do with a Tesco organic leek, and a pot of Greek yogurt.

I think Ape is a flasher, indecently exposing himself to strategically selected victims such as the clergy, lollipop ladies and local council waste operatives....

lol.

[Last Cunt Standing]

3 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Have you all been feeling unwell? Because apparently thousands of 'worried well' cunts have been taking up tests when they don't need to. 

This chinky cold has brought the worst out in the human race. 

The tests are free, I presume? Well, it’s a day out, isn’t it? I’d never have imagined the usual suspects would be clearing the healthcare shelves with no thought for anyone else. Society is dead. 

[Last Cunt Standing]

10 hours ago, Earl of Punkape said:

You have children?

I thought you were a homosexual.

There are two homosexual couples on my street. Both with children. Please write to The Daily Telegraph at once. 

[Eric Cuntman]

11 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

There are two homosexual couples on my street. Both with children. Please write to The Daily Telegraph at once. 

Woofters adopt children so they can nonce them up. 

 

[Last Cunt Standing]

2 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I remember when we had the swine flu. I had this "gangsta" cunt come in. He had all the fucking regalia; loud tracksuit, sunglasses, headband. He looked like one if these cunts on a rap video. He thought he had swine flu when he just had a  sniffles. He fucking blubbered like a toddler. The cunt even wanted a second opinion. So I told him he was a fucking tit as well*

*that bit wasn't true.

I too remember Swine flu. I remember the mountain of pointless Tamiflu we were told to get rid of. I remember a joyless afternoon at the local RAF base being told by some polyester-tie wallah in charge of emergencies that one plan for dealing with the dead was to dig a dirty great trench and bulldoze the corpses into it. I remember the queues around the block for people with 12 hour snot demanding an examination. I remember the indignation of people having to wait an extra day for their repeat medicines. I remember the requests for home visit because it was “too dangerous to go out”. 

I’m enjoying this series of Pandemic much more, but that’s probably to do with having the time to cheerfully watch the world lose its shit from my hammock. I’m eagerly anticipating the next instalment of Brexit, too, which by now I am convinced is being written by Armando Iannucci. 

[Last Cunt Standing]

Just now, Eric Cuntman said:

Woofters adopt children so they can nonce them up. 

 

I should have clarified they were lesbians. Or they appear to be through my binoculars.

[Eric Cuntman]

2 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

I too remember Swine flu. I remember the mountain of pointless Tamiflu we were told to get rid of. I remember a joyless afternoon at the local RAF base being told by some polyester-tie wallah in charge of emergencies that one plan for dealing with the dead was to dig a dirty great trench and bulldoze the corpses into it. I remember the queues around the block for people with 12 hour snot demanding an examination. I remember the indignation of people having to wait an extra day for their repeat medicines. I remember the requests for home visit because it was “too dangerous to go out”. 

I’m enjoying this series of Pandemic much more, but that’s probably to do with having the time to cheerfully watch the world lose its shit from my hammock. I’m eagerly anticipating the next instalment of Brexit, too, which by now I am convinced is being written by Armando Iannucci. 

It's a fucking omnishambles.

[King Billy]

17 hours ago, Williewhoopassjohnson said:

Amen to that, my own opinion is its been around longer than reported and its nowhere near as serious as the government make out, my eldest sister was working on the covid ward and never once said it was as dramatic as media was making out. Wonder what happened to the super hospital they built in london, did they ever fill it? Nope, not once. The whole thing is just taking advantage of easily led people 

Strangely, the massive morgue which sprung up almost overnight, on a 4 acre site opposite a pal of mines in Wanstead in April disappeared last month just as quickly. This was one of six in London and along with the huge temporary hospitals which are also now gone should be enough evidence that there is no real expectation of a ‘second wave.’

All over the world recorded cases are rising enormously but hospitalisations and deaths are not. If anyone can explain to me why this is the case I might be more persuadable to the government line.

On the other hand, I know I still won’t believe a fucking word of it.

[King Billy]

1 hour ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

There are two homosexual couples on my street. Both with children. Please write to The Daily Telegraph at once. 

Extinction Rebellion won’t let the postman get to their letterbox.

[Last Cunt Standing]

20 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Extinction Rebellion won’t let the postman get to their letterbox.

No, no you do it online these days Bill. Just like everything else. Even Colonel Huffton-Tuffton of Tunbridge Wells has an iPhone he can bash out missives on. I believe the email address is something like whyohwhyohwhy@telegraph.co.uk

[Eric Cuntman]

4 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

No, no you do it online these days Bill. Just like everything else. Even Colonel Huffton-Tuffton of Tunbridge Wells has an iPhone he can bash out missives on. I believe the email address is something like whyohwhyohwhy@telegraph.co.uk

That's taken me back to Barry Took, reading out viewer correspondence on 'Points Of View'.

[King Billy]

6 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

No, no you do it online these days Bill. Just like everything else. Even Colonel Huffton-Tuffton of Tunbridge Wells has an iPhone he can bash out missives on. I believe the email address is something like whyohwhyohwhy@telegraph.co.uk

Online schmonline. I don’t know what’s going on nowadays. 

[Last Cunt Standing]

1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said:

That's taken me back to Barry Took, reading out viewer correspondence on 'Points Of View'.

Some of Terry Wogan’s best work was Points of View. You could see him half-winking down the camera thinking that the outrage of Mrs Smith about the running order for Songs of Praise was fucking hilarious. If he got really bored he’d Don his moleskin trousers and shove his man bulge into the nations living rooms. I can never forgive him for the Janet and John stories. Gave me a bastard hernia, they did. 

[Eric Cuntman]

20 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Some of Terry Wogan’s best work was Points of View. You could see him half-winking down the camera thinking that the outrage of Mrs Smith about the running order for Songs of Praise was fucking hilarious. If he got really bored he’d Don his moleskin trousers and shove his man bulge into the nations living rooms. I can never forgive him for the Janet and John stories. Gave me a bastard hernia, they did. 

At least Wogan was able to enunciate and be understood when he spoke. I will never fucking understand how Michael Parkinson was king of chat show hosts. The man is completely unintelligible. Low, raspy fucking mumbling monotone fucking indecipherable northern tosswank.

And Russell Harty was poofy.

[Guest Williewhoopassjohnson]

6 hours ago, King Billy said:

Strangely, the massive morgue which sprung up almost overnight, on a 4 acre site opposite a pal of mines in Wanstead in April disappeared last month just as quickly. This was one of six in London and along with the huge temporary hospitals which are also now gone should be enough evidence that there is no real expectation of a ‘second wave.’

All over the world recorded cases are rising enormously but hospitalisations and deaths are not. If anyone can explain to me why this is the case I might be more persuadable to the government line.

On the other hand, I know I still won’t believe a fucking word of it.

Bananas aint it, how are people so gullible 

[Penny Farthing]

13 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I remember when we had the swine flu. I had this "gangsta" cunt come in. He had all the fucking regalia; loud tracksuit, sunglasses, headband. He looked like one if these cunts on a rap video. He thought he had swine flu when he just had a  sniffles. He fucking blubbered like a toddler. The cunt even wanted a second opinion. So I told him he was a fucking tit as well*

*that bit wasn't true.

One of my neighbours caught avian flu off some bird that he had shagged.

[Penny Farthing]

21 hours ago, Earl of Punkape said:

You have children?

I thought you were a homosexual.

Don't you mean Homer Sexual?

 

[Mrs Roops]

On 09/09/2020 at 09:59, Jiggerycock said:

During the last six months, I have not heard ONE British politician talk about the erosion of civil liberties, what the endgame of all this dangerous legislation is supposed to be or making a case for alternative courses of action.

Then you haven't been paying attention then. Only yesterday Boris Johnson was ruminating on the subject during the latest briefing.

[Penny Farthing]

I do wonder how the fuck some of the cunts here would have managed during the two world wars.

[King Billy]

11 minutes ago, Dawn Chorus said:

I do wonder how the fuck some of the cunts here would have managed during the two world wars.

I’m sure I’d have managed to laugh my bollocks off if a V2 rocket scored a direct hit on your house, while you were sitting on the bog reading the Chudleigh Chronicle.

[ChildeHarold]

14 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I remember when we had the swine flu. I had this "gangsta" cunt come in. He had all the fucking regalia; loud tracksuit, sunglasses, headband. He looked like one if these cunts on a rap video. He thought he had swine flu when he just had a  sniffles. He fucking blubbered like a toddler. The cunt even wanted a second opinion. So I told him he was a fucking tit as well*

*that bit wasn't true.

Sounds like delirium tremens. Swine flu isn't a side effect of consuming 10 Special Brews a day and a bottle of white spirit. 

[Stubby Pecker]

15 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Have you all been feeling unwell? Because apparently thousands of 'worried well' cunts have been taking up tests when they don't need to. 

This chinky cold has brought the worst out in the human race. 

Indeed it has. The stubblets are back at school and surprise surprise, they both got the sniffles from being in contact with other cold carrying little shits, like they do every fucking year. None the symptoms were of the chinky type (we all fucking know what they are by now ffs) but school insisted we have a China flu test. 

All were negative