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Ape™️

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3 minutes ago, JohnnySaucePants said:

 

Correct, you"re not. I'm still waiting though you bull shitting little wanker. " I have a machete, that will shred a piece of cloth in half by simply dropping the piece of cloth on it". FF sake, you fucking stupid thick bastard. 

No Johnny. You're not wound up at all. Not one little bit. No Siree...

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Just now, JohnnySaucePants said:

Correct, i'm not. I am sort of genuinely curious though. To know how in a country such as the UK with all the educational and other opportunities available. How someone, can end up in mid life ( i'm assuming your an adult of course). Working in a basic wage job such as security or a fucking doorman FF sake. A Somali refugee would have made more of the opportunities available.  Seriously, 

Give it a rest Don, you’re fast making a right cunt of yourself every post.

Its not hard to work out the spackers here whom one should direct ones ire at, Eric ain’t one

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22 hours ago, JohnnySaucePants said:

We dont have Dollarstore where i reside. Dollarstore as i understand it is for bottom feeding cunts and plebs like Ape and Eric the " I need to be top of the leader board" wannabe. I refuse to be associated with the low life unwashed lice infested scum.  

 

 

 

I think you're not trying hard enough. Anyone can make bullshit up to try and score a point, but it doesn't wash here, except with the troll squad. Sticking the boot into soft spots unwittingly revealed by the posters themselves, is harder, but yields far greater returns. It takes patience and practice.

Frankly, I'm amazed you've garnered 68 likes already, but Pen isn't known to be discerning when it comes to awarding likes. Are you sure you're not a Harold sock puppet?

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13 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Give it a rest Don, you’re fast making a right cunt of yourself every post.

Its not hard to work out the spackers here whom one should direct ones ire at, Eric ain’t one

Don't bother. It's a sad little fantasist, sat in a bedsit trying to convince us that he's a big success. 

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17 minutes ago, JohnnySaucePants said:

Correct, i'm not. I am sort of genuinely curious though. To know how in a country such as the UK with all the educational and other opportunities available. How someone, can end up in mid life ( i'm assuming your an adult of course). Working in a basic wage job such as security or a fucking doorman FF sake. A Somali refugee would have made more of the opportunities available.  Seriously, 

It's not the greatest job in the world. But not all bad. There's always the opportunity of getting paid to beat up gobby little bullshitters like you. 

Do you really think that doormen are exclusively doormen? Has it ever occurred to you that working 12 hours over a weekend is merely a bit of extra pocket money to supplement a day job? Why do you hate them so much. I expect they remind you of the bigger boys that bullied you at school. 😡

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20 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

It's not the greatest job in the world. But not all bad. There's always the opportunity of getting paid to beat up gobby little bullshitters like you. 

Do you really think that doormen are exclusively doormen? Has it ever occurred to you that working 12 hours over a weekend is merely a bit of extra pocket money to supplement a day job? Why do you hate them so much. I expect they remind you of the bigger boys that bullied you at school. 😡

You’re on here talking bollocks throughout the day.. usually until three or four the following morning. Let’s assume you’re an old-timer and need at least eight and a half hours sleep, that leaves you with a little under two hours to cover your day job. Me thinks JSP recognises a fucking loozer when he sees one. 

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2 minutes ago, Frank said:

You’re on here talking bollocks throughout the day.. usually until three or four the following morning. Let’s assume you’re an old-timer and need at least eight and a half hours sleep, that leaves you with a little under two hours to cover your day job. Me thinks JSP recognises a fucking loozer when he sees one. 

Whereas everyone recognises a has-been shit stirring troll when they see one, Francis. Your substandard shit only works with newbies, so why do you bother?

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5 minutes ago, Frank said:

You’re on here talking bollocks throughout the day.. usually until three or four the following morning. Let’s assume you’re an old-timer and need at least eight and a half hours sleep, that leaves you with a little under two hours to cover your day job. Me thinks JSP recognises a fucking loozer when he sees one. 

Desperate for friends again?

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13 minutes ago, JohnnySaucePants said:

 Cunt i am, i"ll admit. 🙂  In my book though, he is the greatest gobby mouthed spacker on here bar none. 

Stubby's right, to be fair Eric's is mostly tame and just here for shits and giggles. There are far, far more insidious fuckers here, but it's not always easy to see the wood for the trees at the outset.

Hey, I don't have a bet on the outcome of this scrap, but maybe bide your time a tad and pick your fights? Just saying. Carry on cunting.

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28 minutes ago, JohnnySaucePants said:

No one ever at the school i attended ended up working as a fucking doorman for some measly extra pocket money. Obviously you failed miserably at even the most basic of school exams, and there ends your dull life story. Idiot. 🙂

Frank is a good friend to have Johnny. Keep him close. 🙂

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3 minutes ago, JohnnySaucePants said:

Point taken. He cunted me first, so he's simply getting a well deserved cunting in return. Besides that he's a fucking part time extra pocket money scrounging doorman. So deserves a well earned cunting.  It's a sad world when someones reduced to that. I'm almost starting to feel sorry for the hapless cunt. I need to work on my empathy. 

I'm sorry that I've made you so angry by pulling your pants down in front of the class. Try some camomile tea perhaps?

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2 minutes ago, JohnnySaucePants said:

Point taken. He cunted me first, so he's simply getting a well deserved cunting in return. Besides that he's a fucking part time extra pocket money scrounging doorman. So deserves a well earned cunting.  It's a sad world when someones reduced to that. I'm almost starting to feel sorry for the hapless cunt. I need to work on my empathy. 

Sounds like you think I'm on your side. I don't have a dog in this this race. Personally, I wouldn't want to be a doorman and spend my life dealing with drunk cunts. It's a lose lose zero sum equation and a job few could execute well, despite people's opinion of them being slag fucking half brains, earned or not. Like it or not we all need them to protect the tame drunk cuties from the arseholes though, otherwise we'd be at nightclubs full of nothing but overtly aggressive wankers rather than the slack fannied slags that men go there for.

Give it a chance. Take a deep breath, step back, call a truce, cunt the real tossers and everyone will be happier.

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  • 2 years later...

Is anyone else fucking sick to death of these cunt Betting adverts? 'This is Epic' shouts some fucking cunt in the William Hill advert... Yeah it's epic gambling (and probably losing) money you likely can't afford isn't it cunt? They're all there in the adverts... fat cunts, the token 74 black cunts, an assortment of benders and dykes and of course some white girlfriend less cunt shouting 'This is Epic' lol, all played out to that shite and annoying 'Sweet Caroline' song. Another one that pisses me is that Paddy Power one, you know, the one where they're all trying to look serious and not laugh when they tell you to 'stop, when the fun stops' and call some shitty helpline etc (maybe I imagined the helpline). I like the odd flutter now and again but gambling regularly (whether you're rich or poor) is for mugs. The bookie always wins in the end. I get there are serious gambling addicts out there, however I don't get it... yes, I get you get a buzz out of hoping your bet comes through etc but surely if it's a guaranteed buzz you're looking for, get some crack or something. 

Fuck off. 

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12 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Is anyone else fucking sick to death of these cunt Betting adverts?

Yes.

These cunts agreed to various messages being incorporated into the advertising, as a sop to the regulator. Now they've discovered that copious use of phrases such as "responsible", "safe", "knowing your limits", "helpline", etc, actually tempt far more mugs into pissing their hard-earned up the fucking wall. So that's what we're getting thrown at us, every. fucking. night. 

Cunts.

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19 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Is anyone else fucking sick to death of these cunt Betting adverts? 'This is Epic' shouts some fucking cunt in the William Hill advert... Yeah it's epic gambling (and probably losing) money you likely can't afford isn't it cunt? They're all there in the adverts... fat cunts, the token 74 black cunts, an assortment of benders and dykes and of course some white girlfriend less cunt shouting 'This is Epic' lol, all played out to that shite and annoying 'Sweet Caroline' song. Another one that pisses me is that Paddy Power one, you know, the one where they're all trying to look serious and not laugh when they tell you to 'stop, when the fun stops' and call some shitty helpline etc (maybe I imagined the helpline). I like the odd flutter now and again but gambling regularly (whether you're rich or poor) is for mugs. The bookie always wins in the end. I get there are serious gambling addicts out there, however I don't get it... yes, I get you get a buzz out of hoping your bet comes through etc but surely if it's a guaranteed buzz you're looking for, get some crack or something. 

Fuck off. 

Anyone who listens to the tips that the fat, floating fucking head of Ray Winstone dishes out deserves to end up penniless in the gutter.

"Stick a faaaackin' monkey on the Park Benches to smash the Ben Sherman's, you absolute faaaaaackkkin' slag.... Terms and conditions apply, please gamble responsibly."

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28 minutes ago, scotty said:

He's the romantic type then, Bill? 😍😍

Absolutely scotty. He was my first marriage guidance counsellor many years ago. The first thing he said to me was ‘She’s got a really nice arse but get shot of the cunt ASAP’ and we’ve been friends ever since.

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18 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Absolutely scotty. He was my first marriage guidance counsellor many years ago. The first thing he said to me was ‘She’s got a really nice arse but get shot of the cunt ASAP’ and we’ve been friends ever since.

Have you considered you might have misheard Bill? “Get A shot of the cunt ASAP” sounds much more likely, though sadly it means your longstanding friendship might be based on the expectation that one day he’ll get an upskirting Polaroid over his Scampi Fries.

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27 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Have you considered you might have misheard Bill? “Get A shot of the cunt ASAP” sounds much more likely, though sadly it means your longstanding friendship might be based on the expectation that one day he’ll get an upskirting Polaroid over his Scampi Fries.

I probably misheard everything he said tbh but then I never let the truth get in the way of what I’ve already decided. Ask the Vulcan.

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On 24/12/2017 at 05:36, Last Cunt Standing said:

Watching too much telly now the Christmas break is here, and this Cunt, long an irritant, has moved up a notch or two in the Cunt League to be rivalling Kay Burley and Kirstie Allsop for mid-table dominance. 

For a start the cunt is tone deaf, and excluding some sort of hypoxic brain injury the spacky prick has no excuse, given that in all likelihood he has all day every day to perfect his falsetto. Then he has the ingratitude to label a very helpful steward “clueless” for assisting his transit through the ground, when any right-minded club would make him wear a cowbell round his neck and get to the ground two hours early for his seat behind a six foot concrete pillar. He spunks his PIP money away on meaningless bets with a faceless algorithm, and drags his poor carer in the brown jacket along to change his stoma bag at half time. The team wear green, which makes him either Plymouth or Yeovil in origin, shaving another few percent from his already feeble IQ. Finally, as he vocally stabs Tony Hadley through the heart, we are meant to believe the opposition fans he is goading wouldn’t loiter in the car park for the bearded tossbag and jam each spoke on his Spagchariot up his crusty ring.

Epic Cuntery from a Cunt firm in a Cunt industry. 

Been there, done that, @Old Chap Raasclaat. This was a post about an old Paddy Power ad that got under my skin 5 years ago. I see little has changed. 

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