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Give an idiot a fluorescent tabard and suddenly he thinks he's Judge Dredd or the Punisher.  

I don't like being told what to do at the best of times, but I truly resent being ordered around by uniformed cretins who would probably struggle to shovel shit from one place to another after a few weeks of intensive training.  

Covid 19 seems to have been an absolute boon for the tribe of hopeless wankers pointlessly installed in Railway stations up and down the land by SWORD and Silurian.  Before the Wuhan flu, this collection of misshapen idiots and freaks would have been considered unemployable, but now suddenly they have been awarded their own little 6 yard territory of railway station to patrol, carefully carrying out the vital role of ensuring no one climbs up the stairs to the platform on the right instead of the left, or whatever they have decided is the correct side today, or pestering passengers to "adjust your mask, please sir...".  

Earlier this week, for reasons unknown, they were all missing for a whole morning.  There was no sudden anarchic chaos.  No rioting.  Their absence made absolutely no difference whatsoever.  People managed to navigate their way through the station without fatality or drama.  

Actually that's not true, when I saw they were gone, it lifted my mood ever so slightly.  I dared to hope that the army of uniformed dullards had been redeployed to guard the council tip or a sewage works, but depression soon set in as I saw that they were back in all their lurching gurning, twitching idiot glory the following day.  

If anyone from the railway is reading this (admittedly unlikely), can you please call off this army of repulsive cretinous jobsworths ?  I'm an adult, I don't need to be told which side of a corridor to walk down, or the correct way to walk up stairs.  Certainly not by this gang of drooling halfwits.  

The sooner they all recycled back into whichever faulty clone vats and Frankenstein factories they were assembled in, the happier I will be.  Normally, I try to be an easy going person, but these bleating officious pricks really do bring out the worst in me.  I think its only a matter of time before someone being earnestly told how to reconfigure their mask to the most acceptable shape snaps and gives one of these fuckwits the beating of their lives.  Rant over.  

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4 minutes ago, Weary&Disgusted said:

Give an idiot a fluorescent tabard and suddenly he thinks he's Judge Dredd or the Punisher.  

I don't like being told what to do at the best of times, but I truly resent being ordered around by uniformed cretins who would probably struggle to shovel shit from one place to another after a few weeks of intensive training.  

Covid 19 seems to have been an absolute boon for the tribe of hopeless wankers pointlessly installed in Railway stations up and down the land by SWORD and Silurian.  Before the Wuhan flu, this collection of misshapen idiots and freaks would have been considered unemployable, but now suddenly they have been awarded their own little 6 yard territory of railway station to patrol, carefully carrying out the vital role of ensuring no one climbs up the stairs to the platform on the right instead of the left, or whatever they have decided is the correct side today, or pestering passengers to "adjust your mask, please sir...".  

Earlier this week, for reasons unknown, they were all missing for a whole morning.  There was no sudden anarchic chaos.  No rioting.  Their absence made absolutely no difference whatsoever.  People managed to navigate their way through the station without fatality or drama.  

Actually that's not true, when I saw they were gone, it lifted my mood ever so slightly.  I dared to hope that the army of uniformed dullards had been redeployed to guard the council tip or a sewage works, but depression soon set in as I saw that they were back in all their lurching gurning, twitching idiot glory the following day.  

If anyone from the railway is reading this (admittedly unlikely), can you please call off this army of repulsive cretinous jobsworths ?  I'm an adult, I don't need to be told which side of a corridor to walk down, or the correct way to walk up stairs.  Certainly not by this gang of drooling halfwits.  

The sooner they all recycled back into whichever faulty clone vats and Frankenstein factories they were assembled in, the happier I will be.  Normally, I try to be an easy going person, but these bleating officious pricks really do bring out the worst in me.  I think its only a matter of time before someone being earnestly told how to reconfigure their mask to the most acceptable shape snaps and gives one of these fuckwits the beating of their lives.  Rant over.  

Your ticket is out of date.

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3 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

My God you play with those little plastic toys. I've seen groups of uncouth men congregating in dubious premises indulging in those practices. Sonetines on the High Street. It's not dead yet. 

My face now sports a look of bemused confusion.  

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25 minutes ago, Dawn Chorus said:

Your ticket is out of date.

When I was young, my mum used to put food on a spoon and say, "There's a train coming. There's a train coming." We'd always eat it because we knew that if we didn't she wouldn't untie us from the railway line.

 

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1 hour ago, Wolfie said:

Any train guard would be in for a huge surprise if they searched your pockets for a ticket. Lol.

You sound like a pocket invader of unsuspecting railway passengers in railway toilets....one rogue hand and the other hand furtively concealing a jar of Vaseline...

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5 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said:

You sound like a pocket invader of unsuspecting railway passengers in railway toilets....one rogue hand and the other hand furtively concealing a jar of Vaseline...

Giving away your trade secrets? 

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14 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said:

Not at all.

It’s my Christian duty to confront the perverse and the twisted...such as yourself...

You mean... Kind of a witch finder general... but for homosexuals and people with loose morals.  I can see the poster now : "Earl Punkape, agent of J.E.S.U.I.T.S."

Or maybe... "Punkape, holy warrior of the Spanish Inquisition, saving the world...one soul at a time".  We can sell the movie rights to Vatican city.  

 

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On 26/09/2020 at 21:39, Dawn Chorus said:

Your ticket is out of date.

 

On 26/09/2020 at 22:22, ChildeHarold said:

I know it is curious and slightly weird. 

If you two wankers are in some kind of contest to see who can post the most pointless fucking drivel the internet has ever seen then we could be here for a while.

I hope you both die soon.

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On 26/09/2020 at 21:34, Weary&Disgusted said:

Give an idiot a fluorescent tabard and suddenly he thinks he's Judge Dredd or the Punisher.  

I don't like being told what to do at the best of times, but I truly resent being ordered around by uniformed cretins who would probably struggle to shovel shit from one place to another after a few weeks of intensive training.  

Covid 19 seems to have been an absolute boon for the tribe of hopeless wankers pointlessly installed in Railway stations up and down the land by SWORD and Silurian.  Before the Wuhan flu, this collection of misshapen idiots and freaks would have been considered unemployable, but now suddenly they have been awarded their own little 6 yard territory of railway station to patrol, carefully carrying out the vital role of ensuring no one climbs up the stairs to the platform on the right instead of the left, or whatever they have decided is the correct side today, or pestering passengers to "adjust your mask, please sir...".  

Earlier this week, for reasons unknown, they were all missing for a whole morning.  There was no sudden anarchic chaos.  No rioting.  Their absence made absolutely no difference whatsoever.  People managed to navigate their way through the station without fatality or drama.  

Actually that's not true, when I saw they were gone, it lifted my mood ever so slightly.  I dared to hope that the army of uniformed dullards had been redeployed to guard the council tip or a sewage works, but depression soon set in as I saw that they were back in all their lurching gurning, twitching idiot glory the following day.  

If anyone from the railway is reading this (admittedly unlikely), can you please call off this army of repulsive cretinous jobsworths ?  I'm an adult, I don't need to be told which side of a corridor to walk down, or the correct way to walk up stairs.  Certainly not by this gang of drooling halfwits.  

The sooner they all recycled back into whichever faulty clone vats and Frankenstein factories they were assembled in, the happier I will be.  Normally, I try to be an easy going person, but these bleating officious pricks really do bring out the worst in me.  I think its only a matter of time before someone being earnestly told how to reconfigure their mask to the most acceptable shape snaps and gives one of these fuckwits the beating of their lives.  Rant over.  

You do wonder where they get these fuckwits from. 

'We're looking for dynamic, go getting people to work with the general public in a transportation setting. You will be assisting members of the public in pathway navigation and oxygen intake filters.  You will be offering information to commuters on filter adjustments and advice on pedestrian traffic. You will be provided with a state of the art fluorescent gilet, stylish milinry (baseball cap). Your hours are varied to fit around your leisure time (0700 start 2300 finish with 30 minutes lunch and one weekend off every 8 weeks). English language desirable but not necessary as grunting and pointing will suffice.

Would suit those who have just arrived in UK by dinghy or childrens paddling pool. 

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10 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

You do wonder where they get these fuckwits from. 

'We're looking for dynamic, go getting people to work with the general public in a transportation setting. You will be assisting members of the public in pathway navigation and oxygen intake filters.  You will be offering information to commuters on filter adjustments and advice on pedestrian traffic. You will be provided with a state of the art fluorescent gilet, stylish milinry (baseball cap). Your hours are varied to fit around your leisure time (0700 start 2300 finish with 30 minutes lunch and one weekend off every 8 weeks). English language desirable but not necessary as grunting and pointing will suffice.

Would suit those who have just arrived in UK by dinghy or childrens paddling pool. 

Any further questions will be answered by Richard Burton on the large overhead screen.

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2 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

You do wonder where they get these fuckwits from. 

'We're looking for dynamic, go getting people to work with the general public in a transportation setting. You will be assisting members of the public in pathway navigation and oxygen intake filters.  You will be offering information to commuters on filter adjustments and advice on pedestrian traffic. You will be provided with a state of the art fluorescent gilet, stylish milinry (baseball cap). Your hours are varied to fit around your leisure time (0700 start 2300 finish with 30 minutes lunch and one weekend off every 8 weeks). English language desirable but not necessary as grunting and pointing will suffice.

Would suit those who have just arrived in UK by dinghy or childrens paddling pool. 

If they were employed on a Friday night or a Saturday night, then I could see a point to their presence- to dissuade drunks from jumping onto the tracks and causing chaos, and so on.  

However, due to fucking covid, everything is quiet, even on a Saturday night there are no really disruptive pissheads marauding around.  So these SWORD zombies are a complete waste of space, and I bitterly resent the fact that commuters like me will probably end up paying their wages through increased fares.  

😬😬😬

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