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Emasculating rock music to sell shit


Jiggerycock

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I'm tempted to go minimalist here, point readers at the use of Steppenwof's counter-culture classic 'Born To Be Wild' (for many, the start of heavy metal) and its insipidly twee makeover in the new Volvo ad, and leave it at that.

Can't these cultural ghouls leave stuff alone though? Isn't there enough oh-so-lame contemporary music out there that large swathes of the population humm and whirr to, that ad-men can slap on a video of, oh I dunno, a labrador puppy licking some bubble gum icecream in order to sell you some shit you don't need.

I only bring this up because Christmas is around the corner and I'm betting the farm some cunt has turned 'Sabbath Bloody Sabbath' (the bit where Ozzy screams 'YOU BASTARD!') into a torch song, as the backing track of an angelic child looking all wistful in soft focus -  and John Lewis' marketing department are drowning in a pool of their own fucking cum!

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1 minute ago, Jiggerycock said:

I'm tempted to go minimalist here, point readers at the use of Steppenwof's counter-culture classic 'Born To Be Wild' (for many, the start of heavy metal) and its insipidly twee makeover in the new Volvo ad, and leave it at that.

Can't these cultural ghouls leave stuff alone though? Isn't there enough oh-so-lame contemporary music out there that large swathes of the population humm and whirr to, that ad-men can slap on a video of, oh I dunno, a labrador puppy licking some bubble gum icecream in order to sell you some shit you don't need.

I only bring this up because Christmas is around the corner and I'm betting the farm some cunt has turned 'Sabbath Bloody Sabbath' (the bit where Ozzy screams 'YOU BASTARD!') into a torch song, as the backing track of an angelic child looking all wistful in soft focus -  and John Lewis' marketing department are drowning in a pool of their own fucking cum!

Good nomination. Remember what they did to Guns & Roses 'Sweet Child O' Mine'?

half tempo, gutless renditions with twee, whimsical girls on vocals. Sickening. 

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Guest Weary&Disgusted
27 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said:

I'm tempted to go minimalist here, point readers at the use of Steppenwof's counter-culture classic 'Born To Be Wild' (for many, the start of heavy metal) and its insipidly twee makeover in the new Volvo ad, and leave it at that.

Can't these cultural ghouls leave stuff alone though? Isn't there enough oh-so-lame contemporary music out there that large swathes of the population humm and whirr to, that ad-men can slap on a video of, oh I dunno, a labrador puppy licking some bubble gum icecream in order to sell you some shit you don't need.

I only bring this up because Christmas is around the corner and I'm betting the farm some cunt has turned 'Sabbath Bloody Sabbath' (the bit where Ozzy screams 'YOU BASTARD!') into a torch song, as the backing track of an angelic child looking all wistful in soft focus -  and John Lewis' marketing department are drowning in a pool of their own fucking cum!

I quite like it when it happens in the opposite direction and bands cover some ad jingle

Put the freshness back Jiggers

 

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I thought it was amusing that Huey Lewis fucked Pepsi off when they offered him $5m for a song right. Michael Jackson snaffled the cash then promptly got his head set on fire doing the video. This led to his mental health problems, painkiller addiction and eventual premature death. Kidfucking aside, sometimes it can be a good thing...

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25 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

I thought it was amusing that Huey Lewis fucked Pepsi off when they offered him $5m for a song right. Michael Jackson snaffled the cash then promptly got his head set on fire doing the video. This led to his mental health problems, painkiller addiction and eventual premature death. Kidfucking aside, sometimes it can be a good thing...

His 'mental health' problems were already rampaging long before he set fire to his hairdo. Bleaching himself, fucking a chimp and pretending to be a six year old. Filthy fucking black nonce. 

How did Michael's guests know when it was bedtime?

 

When the big hand touched the little hand.

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48 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

His 'mental health' problems were already rampaging long before he set fire to his hairdo. Bleaching himself, fucking a chimp and pretending to be a six year old. Filthy fucking black nonce. 

How did Michael's guests know when it was bedtime?

 

When the big hand touched the little hand.

No Eric...prior to the coiffure pyrotechnics he was a nice fella. Always got his round in & threw a mean dart. He even fingered my mates sister, who was 30 @ the time. It was the Pepsi pyros wot done it...thank god for Huey Lewis’ artistic integrity I say...dead spooks matter.

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21 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

No Eric...prior to the coiffure pyrotechnics he was a nice fella. Always got his round in & threw a mean dart. He even fingered my mates sister, who was 30 @ the time. It was the Pepsi pyros wot done it...thank god for Huey Lewis’ artistic integrity I say...dead spooks matter.

Huey Lewis did well for a kid from Kazakhstan. Massive cock.

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2 hours ago, Weary&Disgusted said:

I quite like it when it happens in the opposite direction and bands cover some ad jingle

Put the freshness back Jiggers

 

You Sir, have impeccable taste in music. These lads are a big fave of the pecker and I saw them a couple of years ago opening for Bad Religion. I was due to see them this summer in Bristol but thanks to bat flu...

Maybe next year

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8 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

You Sir, have impeccable taste in music. These lads are a big fave of the pecker and I saw them a couple of years ago opening for Bad Religion. I was due to see them this summer in Bristol but thanks to bat flu...

Maybe next year

I wouldn't hold out much hope for next year either. The powers that be are having way too much fun exercising draconian control over the population. 

Unless people wake up, tear off their masks (badges of compliance) and start saying no to this ridiculous Orwellian plot, nothing's going to change.

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