Mother, 42, is pissed off with Ocado for delivering three carrier bags of URINE.

[Wolfie]

12 hours ago, ProfB said:

Piss would run out if there was holes.

I'll be amazed if this isn't @Joker's wife.

[Stubby Pecker]

12 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

I'll be amazed if this isn't @Joker's wife.

When he returns later from whatever scattological horror he’s currently up to, I’m sure he’ll be able to confirm 

[and]

17 hours ago, Wolfie said:

I'll be amazed if this isn't @Joker's wife.

I must say I was shocked,  the wife was expecting a gallon of monkey spunk.

[Penny Farthing]

6 minutes ago, Joker said:

I must say I was shocked,  the wife was expecting a gallon of monkey spunk.

A bucket of Wolfie's oral diarrhea?

[and]

1 minute ago, Dawn Chorus said:

A bucket of Wolfie's oral diarrhea?

Sloppy seconds from Deci's Mr.Floppy (which he usually swallows without much of a problem)

[ProfB]

On 18/11/2020 at 19:10, ProfB said:

The story has an happy ending, the mother got replacement food & her money back too.

The mother believes the driver was caught short.

IT GOT WORSE:🤯

Ocado left a bag of shit this time.

Google it, ProfB does not tell porkie pies.

Sarah Wilkin 55, was left horrified after an Ocado delivery driver dropped off a bag of SHIT with her food shopping.

Ocado collected the bag and have launched an investigation. Who dung it?

£25 compo.

What next, what party trick does Ocado have up its sleeve?

[Eric Cuntman]

10 minutes ago, ProfB said:

IT GOT WORSE:🤯

Ocado left a bag of shit this time.

Google it, ProfB does not tell porkie pies.

Sarah Wilkin 55, was left horrified after an Ocado delivery driver dropped off a bag of SHIT with her food shopping.

Ocado collected the bag and have launched an investigation. Who dung it?

£25 compo.

What next, what party trick does Ocado have up its sleeve?

'You buy dung, you get dung free!'

'Every shittle helps'

[Major Cunt]

26 minutes ago, ProfB said:

IT GOT WORSE:🤯

Ocado left a bag of shit this time.

Google it, ProfB does not tell porkie pies.

Sarah Wilkin 55, was left horrified after an Ocado delivery driver dropped off a bag of SHIT with her food shopping.

Ocado collected the bag and have launched an investigation. Who dung it?

£25 compo.

What next, what party trick does Ocado have up its sleeve?

25 sheets compo, Prof? Now that's taking the fucking piss, literally. Regarding this breaking news I'll never be using Ocado. At least at your local Tesco you can avoid a bag of excrement. I reckon she's entitled to a couple of grand. 

[Eric Cuntman]

14 minutes ago, Major Cunt said:

25 sheets compo, Prof? Now that's taking the fucking piss, literally. Regarding this breaking news I'll never be using Ocado. At least at your local Tesco you can avoid a bag of excrement. I reckon she's entitled to a couple of grand. 

I won't be having any takeaways from 'Deliverpoo' either.

[Ape™️]

1 hour ago, ProfB said:

IT GOT WORSE:🤯

Ocado left a bag of shit this time.

Google it, ProfB does not tell porkie pies.

Sarah Wilkin 55, was left horrified after an Ocado delivery driver dropped off a bag of SHIT with her food shopping.

Ocado collected the bag and have launched an investigation. Who dung it?

£25 compo.

What next, what party trick does Ocado have up its sleeve?

The delivery was intended for reptile. He’ll be fucking furious someone else has his weeks supply of shit.

[Earl of Punkape]

57 minutes ago, Ape™️ said:

The delivery was intended for reptile. He’ll be fucking furious someone else has his weeks supply of shit.

You collect your own bags of shit from Tesco every week and pay for it you stupid wanker....

[Ape™️]

10 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said:

You collect your own bags of shit from Tesco every week and pay for it you stupid wanker....

I use Ocado. Have done for 5 years. You stupid wanker. 

[ChildeHarold]

4 minutes ago, Ape™️ said:

I use Ocado. Have done for 5 years. You stupid wanker. 

Weak response

[ChildeHarold]

As they say on Strictly: "She had beautiful flow". 

[King Billy]

2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

'You buy dung, you get dung free!'

'Every shittle helps'

Was it past its smell by date?

[King Billy]

3 hours ago, ProfB said:

IT GOT WORSE:🤯

Ocado left a bag of shit this time.

Google it, ProfB does not tell porkie pies.

Sarah Wilkin 55, was left horrified after an Ocado delivery driver dropped off a bag of SHIT with her food shopping.

Ocado collected the bag and have launched an investigation. Who dung it?

£25 compo.

What next, what party trick does Ocado have up its sleeve?

Log onto the website and see if there’s been anything else dropped off.

[King Billy]

2 hours ago, Major Cunt said:

I reckon she's entitled to a couple of grand. 

She’d be rolling in it then.

[ProfB]

But after she picked it up she noticed the smell and was sickened to realise the bag was full of bags of urine and also contained faeces.

So urine again too.

A bucket would be better than bags?

 

[Major Cunt]

2 hours ago, Earl of Punkape said:

You collect your own bags of shit from Tesco every week and pay for it you stupid wanker....

Considering you rummage through Waitrose bins in a desperate attempt to be one of the middle class, you are in absolutely no position to be questioning a chap who shops in Tesco. I'd imagine the lockdown has played havoc with you and Diego's bumbanditry on the 3rd hole... 

[Earl of Punkape]

6 minutes ago, Major Cunt said:

Considering you rummage through Waitrose bins in a desperate attempt to be one of the middle class, you are in absolutely no position to be questioning a chap who shops in Tesco. I'd imagine the lockdown has played havoc with you and Diego's bumbanditry on the 3rd hole... 

No doubt your summer of homosexual dogging has been blighted by the cancellation of Crufts...

lol.

[King Billy]

1 hour ago, Earl of Punkape said:

No doubt your summer of homosexual dogging has been blighted by the cancellation of Crufts...

lol.

You’re definitely ‘best of breed’

Cuntbreed. LOL

Fuck off.

[White Cunt]

7 hours ago, ProfB said:

IT GOT WORSE:🤯

Ocado left a bag of shit this time.

Google it, ProfB does not tell porkie pies.

Sarah Wilkin 55, was left horrified after an Ocado delivery driver dropped off a bag of SHIT with her food shopping.

Ocado collected the bag and have launched an investigation. Who dung it?

£25 compo.

What next, what party trick does Ocado have up its sleeve?

You do tell porkies in blankets lies.

Anyway, the only way to solve these problems permanently, is to install “Idiocracy”-premiered seats with fully integrated toilets.

[Stubby Pecker]

17 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

'You buy dung, you get dung free!'

'Every shittle helps'

 

16 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I won't be having any takeaways from 'Deliverpoo' either.

 

14 hours ago, King Billy said:

Was it past its smell by date?

 

14 hours ago, King Billy said:

She’d be rolling in it then.

Pair of cunts

[ProfB]

Ocado may well deliver the contents of the sanitary bin in their ladies toilets next.

I predict this little lot of treats, will turn up with a gent's order of vintage wines from M&S & maybe some of those 🐽 in blankets I bought in error when a furloughed HRMC worker rammed their trolley up my arse.

[Stubby Pecker]

8 hours ago, ProfB said:

Ocado may well deliver the contents of the sanitary bin in their ladies toilets next.

I predict this little lot of treats, will turn up with a gent's order of vintage wines from M&S & maybe some of those 🐽 in blankets I bought in error when a furloughed HRMC worker rammed their trolley up my arse.

I’ve just booked on a delivery for you prof; 2 litres of drain cleaner- enjoy