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SAUSAGE upset - Furloughed cuntage have turned my traditional Christmas dinner Spanish 🇪🇸


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In M&S the furloughed pushed & shoved me as I reached out for a packet that said Pigs in Blankets on it, got home & saw the bastard things are Spanish style chorizos & pancetta  - skin from Spanish pigs bollox.

Pigs in Blankets are a Great British invention -  never did I expect M&S to trick me in such a downright wicked manner.

I hope my spouts are grown in Norfolk - the sea air wafting over them… mmmh and planted using lunar gardening guarantees award winning bulbous sprouts.

 

Merry Christmas 🎄 everyone

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4 minutes ago, Major Cunt said:

What is this load of old bollocks, Prof? I normally associate your prose with battering the dung hatches of recently passed celebrities, and why the fuck hasn't Harvey Price had been nominated? The cunts just turned 18.

Oh to be young and dancing your pretty little arse off in public. Are you still flexible? Do you stretch in the morning? Name your favourite Fred and Ginger movie. 

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24 minutes ago, ProfB said:

In M&S the furloughed pushed & shoved me as I reached out for a packet that said Pigs in Blankets on it, got home & saw the bastard things are Spanish style chorizos & pancetta  - skin from Spanish pigs bollox.

Pigs in Blankets are a Great British invention -  never did I expect M&S to trick me in such a downright wicked manner.

I hope my spouts are grown in Norfolk - the sea air wafting over them… mmmh and planted using lunar gardening guarantees award winning bulbous sprouts.

 

Merry Christmas 🎄 everyone

 But did you manage to find Christmas tree shaped crumpets?

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21 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

Oh to be young and dancing your pretty little arse off in public. Are you still flexible? Do you stretch in the morning? Name your favourite Fred and Ginger movie. 

I dunno what fucking drugs you're on, but do pm me, and let me know. 

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2 hours ago, ProfB said:

In M&S the furloughed pushed & shoved me as I reached out for a packet that said Pigs in Blankets on it, got home & saw the bastard things are Spanish style chorizos & pancetta  - skin from Spanish pigs bollox.

Pigs in Blankets are a Great British invention -  never did I expect M&S to trick me in such a downright wicked manner.

I hope my spouts are grown in Norfolk - the sea air wafting over them… mmmh and planted using lunar gardening guarantees award winning bulbous sprouts.

 

Merry Christmas 🎄 everyone

Your sprouts will be carefully picked by the skilled migrant force waved in for the task. Have you booked a turkey? 🇹🇷

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15 hours ago, Major Cunt said:

What is this load of old bollocks, Prof? I normally associate your prose with battering the dung hatches of recently passed celebrities, and why the fuck hasn't Harvey Price had been nominated? The cunts just turned 18.

Why is Harvey a potential corner topic - he has health problems.

Katie Price is a corner topic, but they’d be room for nowt else.

 

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15 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

 But did you manage to find Christmas tree shaped crumpets?

Are they in the shops yet? Going through my Quaker Oats phase - just come out of weetabix one, after a brief flirtation with spoon sized shreddies.

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16 hours ago, ProfB said:

In M&S the furloughed pushed & shoved me as I reached out for a packet that said Pigs in Blankets on it, got home & saw the bastard things are Spanish style chorizos & pancetta  - skin from Spanish pigs bollox.

Pigs in Blankets are a Great British invention -  never did I expect M&S to trick me in such a downright wicked manner.

I hope my spouts are grown in Norfolk - the sea air wafting over them… mmmh and planted using lunar gardening guarantees award winning bulbous sprouts.

 

Merry Christmas 🎄 everyone

Try going to a proper butchers shop and purchase the requisite sausages and bacon you lazy sod.

M&S is full or revolting lower middle class COVID dodgers with cheap handbags and furtive glances.

In addition as Christmas approaches...fuck off.

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3 hours ago, Earl of Punkape said:

Try going to a proper butchers shop and purchase the requisite sausages and bacon you lazy sod.

M&S is full or revolting lower middle class COVID dodgers with cheap handbags and furtive glances.

In addition as Christmas approaches...fuck off.

Nonsense.
Ladies who shop at local butchers’ tend to wear horrible anoraks and are mostly very overweight. Their handbags look like Oxfam’  rejects.

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Yes they have both, but a furloughed HMRC employee & others made me grab the wrong packet - they were all together - I say the Brits & Spans are a different kettle of fish?

The last thing I want Christmas day is a spicy sausage.

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3 hours ago, ProfB said:

Yes they have both, but a furloughed HMRC employee & others made me grab the wrong packet - they were all together - I say the Brits & Spans are a different kettle of fish?

The last thing I want Christmas day is a spicy sausage.

I can but refer you to Little Britain "What that boy (Daffyd) needs is a big fat cock up his arse" 

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5 hours ago, ProfB said:

Yes they have both, but a furloughed HMRC employee & others made me grab the wrong packet - they were all together - I say the Brits & Spans are a different kettle of fish?

The last thing I want Christmas day is a spicy sausage.

So you put it in the basket (without reading the label) and went through the checkout again without reading the label. 

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