Little fat ugly talent-vacuum exits stage left.

[Eric Cuntman]

Just now, Lord Cuntingham said:

Ah, to wander though Woolworths shite filled shelves one more time.

Looking at the piss soaked old biddies lined up at the Pic n Mix, stuffing sherbert lemons into their toothless dribbling gobs. I used to fantasise about cutting them down at the knees with a Bren gun. 

A more innocent age.

[Guest Vicious Bastard]

24 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Looking at the piss soaked old biddies lined up at the Pic n Mix, stuffing sherbert lemons into their toothless dribbling gobs. I used to fantasise about cutting them down at the knees with a Bren gun. 

A more innocent age.

Yes, oh yes. I can picture it now, the stammer of the Bren , .303 rounds pumping into fat, unwashed bodies , shattered NHS specs and piss stained pension books ! If only I could turn back the clock.

[The Beast]

On 15/12/2020 at 19:34, Eric Cuntman said:

I'm afraid I can't find sympathy for her. She has become a multi millionaire for doing nothing more than miming for a few hours a week. At the age of 29, she has earned more money than most people could earn for 2 or 3 lifetimes of hard graft. Yet for the past few months, she has bombarded social and mainstream media with tales of unhappiness and depression. Her devastation over being dumped by a bloke she'd known for 6 weeks and unkind comments on twatter. 

I'm sure the millions of people in the process of losing their homes and livelihoods are praying for her.

I know what Jesy... visit a children's hospital and explain to the parents of a terminally ill child, just how painful it is to be called 'fat' by a stranger on the internet. That should put it in perspective for the lucky, sympathy mongering cunts.

 

That's cheered me up no end.

[Guest Vicious Bastard]

On 15/12/2020 at 14:58, Dyslexic cnut said:

Number four global newsworthy story for the Beeb yesterday was that this vocally-challenged,tubby munter millionairess has been forced to leave this seminally talented ‘musical’ ensemble. The nation now weeps and the fear is that it could result in the ‘band’s’ demise.

How the fuck are we all going to cope with this devastating news? It’s being compared to the Beatle’s break up, but surely it’s going to be far more traumatising for the nation....musically? Never mind pandemics and Brexit, Little Rips may never be the same again.

Alas ! No more thrashing the old tench in the outside shitter while dreaming of "Jesy the Hutts" endless tide of pasty, blubbering flesh.

[Eric Cuntman]

11 minutes ago, Lord Cuntingham said:

Alas ! No more thrashing the old tench in the outside shitter while dreaming of "Jesy the Hutts" endless tide of pasty, blubbering flesh.

The kind of girl who could spice things up in the bedroom by using a set of tyre-levers to show you her kidneys.

[Guest Vicious Bastard]

On 15/12/2020 at 14:58, Dyslexic cnut said:

Number four global newsworthy story for the Beeb yesterday was that this vocally-challenged,tubby munter millionairess has been forced to leave this seminally talented ‘musical’ ensemble. The nation now weeps and the fear is that it could result in the ‘band’s’ demise.

How the fuck are we all going to cope with this devastating news? It’s being compared to the Beatle’s break up, but surely it’s going to be far more traumatising for the nation....musically? Never mind pandemics and Brexit, Little Rips may never be the same again

On 15/12/2020 at 14:58, Dyslexic cnut said:

Number four global newsworthy story for the Beeb yesterday was that this vocally-challenged,tubby munter millionairess has been forced to leave this seminally talented ‘musical’ ensemble. The nation now weeps and the fear is that it could result in the ‘band’s’ demise.

How the fuck are we all going to cope with this devastating news? It’s being compared to the Beatle’s break up, but surely it’s going to be far more traumatising for the nation....musically? Never mind pandemics and Brexit, Little Rips may never be the same again.

Alas ! No more thrashing the old tench in the outside shitter while dreaming of "Jesy the Hutts" endless tide of pasty, blubbering flesh.

[Guest Vicious Bastard]

I pissed myself ,when the great, fat cunt came on the propaganda box to announce her departure from the mind numbing,mongrels sphincter wank band.Her ,cross between Rylan and Action man boyfriend stood beside the fat twat , trying to look both menacing and sympathetic and failing to do ether, if he's shagging that squid, he needs serious self harm therapy. If I had brought that piece of washed up offal home, the old fella would have kicked me all over the park, with his best steelies, then, booked me into specsavers , the very next day

[ChildeHarold]

13 hours ago, Lord Cuntingham said:

I pissed myself ,when the great, fat cunt came on the propaganda box to announce her departure from the mind numbing,mongrels sphincter wank band.Her ,cross between Rylan and Action man boyfriend stood beside the fat twat , trying to look both menacing and sympathetic and failing to do ether, if he's shagging that squid, he needs serious self harm therapy. If I had brought that piece of washed up offal home, the old fella would have kicked me all over the park, with his best steelies, then, booked me into specsavers , the very next day

This is the total barrel of verbal we have come to expect from our Lords and betters, but your passion betrays a certain amount of displaced sexual desire, call it pent up frustrated lust, for the dame. Are you Avid Merriman? 

[Guest Vicious Bastard]

2 hours ago, ChildeHarold said:

This is the total barrel of verbal we have come to expect from our Lords and betters, but your passion betrays a certain amount of displaced sexual desire, call it pent up frustrated lust, for the dame. Are you Avid Merriman? 

All I say in reply is, "Fucking class "!

[ChildeHarold]

3 minutes ago, Lord Cuntingham said:

All I say in reply is, "Fucking class "!

So you're the teacher fucking the sixth form girls for their naughty behaviour in class. Wow, you're something else. 

[Guest Vicious Bastard]

12 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

So you're the teacher fucking the sixth form girls for their naughty behaviour in class. Wow, you're something else. 

I considered a career in teaching....

 

 

 

[Eric Cuntman]

Just now, Lord Cuntingham said:

I considered a career in teaching....

 

 

 

I loved my school days. Fingering the girls behind the PE block.. 

..I really miss that caretakers job.

[ChildeHarold]

2 hours ago, Lord Cuntingham said:

I considered a career in teaching....

 

 

 

You fucking scum bag going for one of the most depraved occupations in modern Britain. 

[Guest Vicious Bastard]

Just now, ChildeHarold said:

You fucking scum bag going for one of the most depraved occupations in modern Britain. 

Well, we all have our shortcomings.

[Dyslexic cnut]

On 17/12/2020 at 21:08, Eric Cuntman said:

Looking at the piss soaked old biddies lined up at the Pic n Mix, stuffing sherbert lemons into their toothless dribbling gobs. I used to fantasise about cutting them down at the knees with a Bren gun. 

A more innocent age.

Oh my fucking God. I was right.

[ChildeHarold]

18 minutes ago, Lord Cuntingham said:

Well, we all have our shortcomings.

Let me see, Your average Attainment Grade is D and your Effort Grade is A+ which indicates aspiration without talent. Your best subject is needlework with a bias towards Peruvian rug making using organised callt soyrced local materials. To date you have secured several large orders from Heals in Tottenham Court Road and Harrods. You are not a member of any after school clubs and refused point blank to enrol for the Juditsu classes we laid on esoecially for the fat softies to help them defend themselves against the beasts of the playground and (especially at night) the dorm. 

[Roadkill]

3 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I loved my school days. Fingering the girls behind the PE block.. 

..I really miss that caretakers job.

I believe I have told the tale once before of fingering my pug-faced (but nice arsed) first girlfriend at the bus stop outside Tynemouth aquarium. I was a romantic in those days - view of the sea and a tenner bag in my pocket. 

Saw her the other day getting off the Metro - sadly he rest of her has caught up to her face.

[Guest Vicious Bastard]

39 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

Let me see, Your average Attainment Grade is D and your Effort Grade is A+ which indicates aspiration without talent. Your best subject is needlework with a bias towards Peruvian rug making using organised callt soyrced local materials. To date you have secured several large orders from Heals in Tottenham Court Road and Harrods. You are not a member of any after school clubs and refused point blank to enrol for the Juditsu classes we laid on esoecially for the fat softies to help them defend themselves against the beasts of the playground and (especially at night) the dorm. 

Eloquent, but tiresome.

[nocti]

She looks like Stevie Wonder's etch-a-sketch of Jar Jar Binks, and I bet her fanny resembles an abattoir doormat, but I'd split her mutton shutters, spin her round, and give her a German eyebath any day of the week. 

Perhaps that would fucking cheer her up a bit, the miserable bitch. Not enough to start singing again though I hope.

[camberwell gypsy]

22 hours ago, Lord Cuntingham said:

I pissed myself ,when the great, fat cunt came on the propaganda box to announce her departure from the mind numbing,mongrels sphincter wank band.Her ,cross between Rylan and Action man boyfriend stood beside the fat twat , trying to look both menacing and sympathetic and failing to do ether, if he's shagging that squid, he needs serious self harm therapy. If I had brought that piece of washed up offal home, the old fella would have kicked me all over the park, with his best steelies, then, booked me into specsavers , the very next day

I bet he would have fucked her just to show you how he used to shag in his younger days. 

[Dyslexic cnut]

22 hours ago, Lord Cuntingham said:

I pissed myself ,when the great, fat cunt came on the propaganda box to announce her departure from the mind numbing,mongrels sphincter wank band.Her ,cross between Rylan and Action man boyfriend stood beside the fat twat , trying to look both menacing and sympathetic and failing to do ether, if he's shagging that squid, he needs serious self harm therapy. If I had brought that piece of washed up offal home, the old fella would have kicked me all over the park, with his best steelies, then, booked me into specsavers , the very next day

If Sam Smith minced up Mt.Everest in twenty inch platform boots then stood on top of the world’s biggest step-ladder he still wouldn’t be high up enough on my list of stabable cunts to be above this piece of human scum. And I do not like Sam Smith.

[ChildeHarold]

8 hours ago, Lord Cuntingham said:

Eloquent, but tiresome.

I agree. 

[Guest Weary&Disgusted]

6 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

If Sam Smith minced up Mt.Everest in twenty inch platform boots then stood on top of the world’s biggest step-ladder he still wouldn’t be high up enough on my list of stabable cunts to be above this piece of human scum. And I do not like Sam Smith.

I can sense a nomination in the works...

[Stubby Pecker]

12 hours ago, nocti said:

She looks like Stevie Wonder's etch-a-sketch of Jar Jar Binks, and I bet her fanny resembles an abattoir doormat, but I'd split her mutton shutters, spin her round, and give her a German eyebath any day of the week. 

Perhaps that would fucking cheer her up a bit, the miserable bitch. Not enough to start singing again though I hope.

With this Mills and Boon-esque vision of sensitive love making has @Revhacked your CC account? German eye bath indeed. All that's missing is battering her dung passage, you silver tongued caviller

You're still a useless part time cunt, however  

[nocti]

50 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

With this Mills and Boon-esque vision of sensitive love making has @Revhacked your CC account? German eye bath indeed. All that's missing is battering her dung passage, you silver tongued caviller

You're still a useless part time cunt, however  

I can't devote myself full time to chatting utter shite on here Stubbs, those toe-curling romance novels won't write themselves you know. My last novella "Mavis Takes Three In The Mudeye" left my local retirement home in such a state of frigor mortis, that the floor of the communal area looked like the aftermath of a slug orgy on an oil slick.