Jump to content
Donations towards site upkeep will be thankfully received and faithfully applied....

Recommended Posts

Vans been in the garage, needs an MOT today, fellas said to me theres a slight fuel leak, what you want to do is jet wash it underneath then it should be fine. Can you not do that for me theres a jet wash there and I'll pay you? No, thats illegal. I'd like to turn that jet wash on full blast and fire it up his nose the stupid cunt. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
13 minutes ago, Williewhoopassjohnson said:

Vans been in the garage, needs an MOT today, fellas said to me theres a slight fuel leak, what you want to do is jet wash it underneath then it should be fine. Can you not do that for me theres a jet wash there and I'll pay you? No, thats illegal. I'd like to turn that jet wash on full blast and fire it up his nose the stupid cunt. 

Since when did jet washing the underside of a car fix a leak? Sound like a pack of wankers to me William. 

I don't suppose they mentioned the optimum pressure output of their water-blaster?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Jet washing isn't going to stop a leak and, I'm no expert on matters like this but I suspect it will make it worse, if it's a fuel line, not a problem. If it's the fuel tank, and you've got a hole in it, you're fucked. If this is the case, and just because it's you, I would strongly recommend you empty the tank until it's only about a quarter full then try and weld the hole with an oxy-acetylene torch. If you've got a 1980's style shell suit you might also feel more comfortable wearing this while welding.

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Since when did jet washing the underside of a car fix a leak? Sound like a pack of wankers to me William. 

I don't suppose they mentioned the optimum pressure output of their water-blaster?

Well his argument is if it drips when its being mot'd it will fail, so if you clean the engine pan the drips will just stay on that instead if hitting the floor. He's a cunt either way. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Williewhoopassjohnson said:

Well his argument is if it drips when its being mot'd it will fail, so if you clean the engine pan the drips will just stay on that instead if hitting the floor. He's a cunt either way. 

Alternatively, you stab him in both eyes with a screwdriver. Then he won't see the leak. Same result. 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
45 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Jet washing isn't going to stop a leak and, I'm no expert on matters like this but I suspect it will make it worse, if it's a fuel line, not a problem. If it's the fuel tank, and you've got a hole in it, you're fucked. If this is the case, and just because it's you, I would strongly recommend you empty the tank until it's only about a quarter full then try and weld the hole with an oxy-acetylene torch. If you've got a 1980's style shell suit you might also feel more comfortable wearing this while welding.

It'll be a fuel line but thats then money to lay out and no van for work, i have actually got an 80s style shellsuit as they are all the rage around here, I've a strong suspicion that combined with that welding move on a fuel tank you've just got a perverse desire to see me simon western myself, i salute that and may actually be simon westerning a mechanic in the next 30 minutes so watch the skys for a fireball 

Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Do you want to borrow a stun gun? If you zap them for long enough, they do a wee-wee. In their pants. I know I did when I tested it.

I've got some of that nato cs gas from france I'll give him a blast of that tomorrow and then knee him in the bollocks, it predictably failed on the fuel leak and a suspension bush but the bush is nothing and the young mechanic pulled me to one side and side dont worry about the leak i can sort that for you, so all in all might not be so bad. I'm going to get extra drunk tomorrow to celebrate. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, Williewhoopassjohnson said:

you've just got a perverse desire to see me simon western myself, i salute that and may actually be simon westerning a mechanic in the next 30 minutes so watch the skys for a fireball 

Show some respect you thick cunt, that's Simon Weston. I bet you call a dual carriageway a drool cabbageway.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
21 hours ago, Williewhoopassjohnson said:

Vans been in the garage, needs an MOT today, fellas said to me theres a slight fuel leak, what you want to do is jet wash it underneath then it should be fine. Can you not do that for me theres a jet wash there and I'll pay you? No, thats illegal. I'd like to turn that jet wash on full blast and fire it up his nose the stupid cunt. 

I will wager that the garage is owned by Eddie, and 'managed' by Fatty. Shit & Cunt garage more like.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Witheredscrote said:

I will wager that the garage is owned by Eddie, and 'managed' by Fatty. Shit & Cunt garage more like.

It’s all gone withers, Truth be known I had a pot noodle for dinner last night, not even the curry one. 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Do they do turkey and cranberry sauce ones for the 25th?

lol

Stub, we are all only 1 month salary from where i am now, it’s not funny or nice. I had an empire built on credit, fatty is sitting nicely in his tacky mansion, I am renting a dump in kent, the shared bathroom has a toilet that doesn’t flush properly, the Albanians have never heard of bleach. No punch line, plus they play rap music. If I could afford it I would drink bleach. 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, Eddie said:

Stub, we are all only 1 month salary from where i am now, it’s not funny or nice. I had an empire built on credit, fatty is sitting nicely in his tacky mansion, I am renting a dump in kent, the shared bathroom has a toilet that doesn’t flush properly, the Albanians have never heard of bleach. No punch line, plus they play rap music. If I could afford it I would drink bleach. 

How the fuck has a simian like fatty managed to fall on his feet? I’m still up for sorting him out, I’m sure his got plenty of stuff worth nicking 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
On 17/12/2020 at 16:01, Williewhoopassjohnson said:

Vans been in the garage, needs an MOT today, fellas said to me theres a slight fuel leak, what you want to do is jet wash it underneath then it should be fine. Can you not do that for me theres a jet wash there and I'll pay you? No, thats illegal. I'd like to turn that jet wash on full blast and fire it up his nose the stupid cunt. 

Garages are designed to extract as much cash as possible from the punters who mistakenly think they are being taken for a ride. It's not a mistake. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

How the fuck has a simian like fatty managed to fall on his feet? I’m still up for sorting him out, I’m sure his got plenty of stuff worth nicking 

The cunt inherited nearly 12million from his father who he lost contact with in the 80’s, the old git owned a large recruitment company in the city, fatty with no head for business sold the company almost immediately to a foreign investor. I’m sure his air hostesses girlfriend would be with him regardless of his inheritance....

Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Williewhoopassjohnson said:

Chicken and mushroom? Its the top choice, followed by chow mein then the spicy one

I am in my car but too cold to sleep, the idiots who I have parked outside their house have a password of 0000 for their internet, the social services in this country is a joke, unless you are foreign. I have almost no points to get a council place yet cunts straight off the boat have it all. God I hate frank.

Link to post
Share on other sites
50 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

Garages are designed to extract as much cash as possible from the punters who mistakenly think they are being taken for a ride. It's not a mistake. 

Its how they earn there living unfortunately, they don't look at long term business just quick turnover. Few cans of accelerant through the letterbox will resolve the situation. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Eddie said:

I am in my car but too cold to sleep, the idiots who I have parked outside their house have a password of 0000 for their internet, the social services in this country is a joke, unless you are foreign. I have almost no points to get a council place yet cunts straight off the boat have it all. God I hate frank.

Is it you who is logged into my wifi?

Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Eddie said:

I am in my car but too cold to sleep, the idiots who I have parked outside their house have a password of 0000 for their internet, the social services in this country is a joke, unless you are foreign. I have almost no points to get a council place yet cunts straight off the boat have it all. God I hate frank.

Pop down the closest garage then if you've resorted to sleeping in the car, get the shittest foreign extra strength beer and down it then go to sleep in the boot. For a gamble report your motor stolen and you might get towed to somewhere warm. 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...