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18 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

To cap a cruel year, I bought the missus the new Dyson Airwrap complete hair thing for Xmas £450.. Her leukaemia diagnosis was confirmed two hours after it was delivered. No refunds. 

So sorry to hear that, DC. When my Ming was diagnosed with leukaemia back in December 2017, she was dead and in the freezer come February. How do you think you’ll cope on your own? 

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2 minutes ago, Frank said:

So sorry to hear that, DC. When my Ming was diagnosed with leukaemia back in December 2017, she was dead and in the freezer come February. How do you think you’ll cope on your own? 

Ming was a beautiful woman. If I’m not wrong, she pledged her uterus to science and there was no shortage of bidders for the same womb related debris. Mrs Cnut’s symptomatic, she has a coating on her tongue but that aside, she’s bearing up.

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21 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Ming was a beautiful woman. If I’m not wrong, she pledged her uterus to science and there was no shortage of bidders for the same womb related debris. Mrs Cnut’s symptomatic, she has a coating on her tongue but that aside, she’s bearing up.

There is now weepage. Can you confirm the clarity of the fluid, so as to give me a timeline? It’s light grey, gelatinous and has the-constituency of weak chicken gravy. She’s started screaming Franco.

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1 hour ago, Frank said:

So sorry to hear that, DC. When my Ming was diagnosed with leukaemia back in December 2017, she was dead and in the freezer come February. How do you think you’ll cope on your own? 

The only thing that pissed you off was the fact that you couldn't fit the Findus frozen moussaka into the freezer. 

 

 

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39 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

There is now weepage. Can you confirm the clarity of the fluid, so as to give me a timeline? It’s light grey, gelatinous and has the-constituency of weak chicken gravy. She’s started screaming Franco.

Tricky. I’m no doc, DC, but have you tried the ‘Reverse Alabama Hot Pocket’?

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2 minutes ago, Eddie said:

2.39 am postings Frank, are you joining the early hours club? 

The man's a fucking shambles, Ed. Imagine his Christmas, sat alone with a dead Ming stinking up his galley kitchen, clicking his fingers along to some Godfuckingawful experimental Jazz beat.

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4 minutes ago, Eddie said:

2.39 am postings Frank, are you joining the early hours club? 

Samaritans on speed dial, who now talk him to fuck off, no gifts under the tree and only day out to look forward to is his chemo at the Royal Free. Happy Christmas Frank x 

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1 hour ago, Decimus said:

The man's a fucking shambles, Ed. Imagine his Christmas, sat alone with a dead Ming stinking up his galley kitchen, clicking his fingers along to some Godfuckingawful experimental Jazz beat.

PossibleSevereFoal-small.gif

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2 hours ago, Eddie said:

Samaritans on speed dial, who now talk him to fuck off, no gifts under the tree and only day out to look forward to is his chemo at the Royal Free. Happy Christmas Frank x 

Will you be dining at young Fatty's tawdry and plastic Scarface inspired mansion today, Ed?

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11 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

To cap a cruel year, I bought the missus the new Dyson Airwrap complete hair thing for Xmas £450.. Her leukaemia diagnosis was confirmed two hours after it was delivered. No refunds. 

Thats terrible news to read on a Christmas day,you could have got it for £250 in the sales if you'd just waited 2 days you silly cunt.

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11 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

There is now weepage. Can you confirm the clarity of the fluid, so as to give me a timeline? It’s light grey, gelatinous and has the-constituency of weak chicken gravy. She’s started screaming Franco.

You'll know the end is near when she asks for a prawn cracker. 

 

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2 hours ago, Decimus said:

Will you be dining at young Fatty's tawdry and plastic Scarface inspired mansion today, Ed?

The fat cunt hasn’t invited me, not even a card this year, i looked after that cunt for years and now he has turned his back on me, I wish him nothing but bad luck for 2021. 

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2 hours ago, Eddie said:

The fat cunt hasn’t invited me, not even a card this year, i looked after that cunt for years and now he has turned his back on me, I wish him nothing but bad luck for 2021. 

To be fair Ed, a 'friend' in need is a pain in the arse. I'm with Fatty on this one. Enjoy you cardboard box accommodation. Lol

Edited by Witheredscrote
A DVD of 'Trading Places' is in the post
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