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Weak cunts.


Old Chap Raasclaat

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5 hours ago, Roadkill said:

Good heavens, Rollo. This is the most savage I've ever seen you been - has Cook been making you clean your room during the lockdown?

It’s worse than that, I’m afraid. I lost my trousers in a bet with King Frank. Now Wizard keeps laughing at my legs and Queen Gwen called me a ‘knock kneed knave’.

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Guest Gronda Gronda
16 minutes ago, KingRollo said:

It’s worse than that, I’m afraid. I lost my trousers in a bet with King Frank. Now Wizard keeps laughing at my legs and Queen Gwen called me a ‘knock kneed knave’.

What would King Frank want with your trousers? Were they clean? 

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11 minutes ago, Gronda Gronda said:

What would King Frank want with your trousers? Were they clean? 

Due to Brexit, and a certain scrawny habitant of this very corner, there is a generalised shortage of drainpipe trousers. King Frank conned me into a little gamble on the dressage... 
Cook laundered them especially for Frank, though I don’t understand the copious amounts of bleach that are now missing from the pantry. Hope she’s not making incendiary devices...

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3 hours ago, KingRollo said:

Due to Brexit, and a certain scrawny habitant of this very corner, there is a generalised shortage of drainpipe trousers. King Frank conned me into a little gamble on the dressage... 
Cook laundered them especially for Frank, though I don’t understand the copious amounts of bleach that are now missing from the pantry. Hope she’s not making incendiary devices...

.

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10 hours ago, KingRollo said:

He’s not in France. Closest he’s ever got to becoming an expat was lunch in 2014 at Cafe Rouge. His ‘French’ is lamentable, his claims of conquest with French women are laughable and his obsession with geese is utterly cretinous. Other than that...

I happen to believe old Withers. Ask yourself this, who in their right fucking mind would ever want to pretend that they were French? Even the Belgians invented their own nation to disassociate themselves with the cunts. When people would rather be Belgian than French, you know your country has a terrible image problem.

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4 hours ago, KingRollo said:

Due to Brexit, and a certain scrawny habitant of this very corner, there is a generalised shortage of drainpipe trousers. King Frank conned me into a little gamble on the dressage... 
Cook laundered them especially for Frank, though I don’t understand the copious amounts of bleach that are now missing from the pantry. Hope she’s not making incendiary devices...

I thought he was starting on a new business idea he borrowed from the Japanese involving vending machines and trousers soiled with arse gravy.

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4 hours ago, KingRollo said:

It’s worse than that, I’m afraid. I lost my trousers in a bet with King Frank. Now Wizard keeps laughing at my legs and Queen Gwen called me a ‘knock kneed knave’.

Have you ever had the pleasure of the company of Fenella, the Kettle Witch? I think the accent means she might be related to Spotto.

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13 hours ago, KingRollo said:

He’s not in France. Closest he’s ever got to becoming an expat was lunch in 2014 at Cafe Rouge. His ‘French’ is lamentable, his claims of conquest with French women are laughable and his obsession with geese is utterly cretinous. Other than that...

He's a complete bellend. 😁

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2 hours ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Have you ever had the pleasure of the company of Fenella, the Kettle Witch? I think the accent means she might be related to Spotto.

They’re all related in that neck of the woods. There’s a rumour that Chorlton’s dad is also his uncle... would take more than being a ‘happiness dragon’ for that mud to unstick. Apparently webbed feet are commonplace in those parts, so Wizard tells me.

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3 hours ago, Decimus said:

I happen to believe old Withers. Ask yourself this, who in their right fucking mind would ever want to pretend that they were French? Even the Belgians invented their own nation to disassociate themselves with the cunts. When people would rather be Belgian than French, you know your country has a terrible image problem.

Take your point but I think the phrase ‘in their right mind’ presents a bit of a gaping hole in the argument in this particular case... 

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5 hours ago, KingRollo said:

Take your point but I think the phrase ‘in their right mind’ presents a bit of a gaping hole in the argument in this particular case... 

Tell that to your average Dordogne Brit ex pat, pit bull walking, Sun reading, full english breakfast, TRYING SO HARD not to blend into the French way of life. 

(in fact tell it to Nigel Lawson in his S W France chateau who gets on with the locals like a vineyard on fire) 

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11 hours ago, Decimus said:

I happen to believe old Withers. Ask yourself this, who in their right fucking mind would ever want to pretend that they were French? Even the Belgians invented their own nation to disassociate themselves with the cunts. When people would rather be Belgian than French, you know your country has a terrible image problem.

France is where the Belgians go for a shit.

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15 minutes ago, KingRollo said:

Are you Pen’s alter ego?

Consider him your new court jester. The old one died of dysentery, so we just grabbed the village idiot and dressed him in his clothes. Sadly he can't juggle or do cartwheels like the old one, but the windows have never been cleaner and his incoherent ramblings can pass as riddles after a few tankards of mead.

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Just now, Roadkill said:

Consider him your new court jester. The old one died of dysentery, so we just grabbed the village idiot and dressed him in his clothes. Sadly he can't juggle or do cartwheels like the old one, but the windows have never been cleaner and his incoherent ramblings can pass as riddles after a few tankards of mead.

He’s fired. There isn’t enough mead in the Kingdom to render his nonsense court worthy and Cook is affronted by your comments about the windows (though, privately, I agree...) 

I know court jesters are supposed to be silly but there are limits... 

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Just now, KingRollo said:

He’s fired. There isn’t enough mead in the Kingdom to render his nonsense court worthy and Cook is affronted by your comments about the windows (though, privately, I agree...) 

I know court jesters are supposed to be silly but there are limits... 

Understood. Still the peasants will enjoy a good breaking at the wheel. I'll let the executioner know.

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