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Hokey Gingers

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16 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

If you'd split this down into paragraphs, I might have been more appreciative.

At that time of the morning Eric?

I can’t lie to you. I’d had a couple of dry sherries and a babycham spritzer. 

I was all over the place.

Yours sincerely 

King Billy.

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10 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Er, no. Australia has several states and territories which have locked down for varying lengths of time, but any comparison of “avoidable deaths” doesn’t hold up I’m afraid. As of right now, Australia has 912 deaths from COVID in total in now 18 months of the plague, which equates to roughly 0.7% of the UK death total. Most experts conclude that closing the international border last April was the key decision. Even allowing for various whatabouteries and conspiracy theories, I’m afraid Bozo looks like an utter wanker from Down here, just as he does everywhere else. And Down here government corruption might mean the bowls club in your constituency now has gold plated taps, not that the health minister bungs his landlord a hundred million quid for PPE. 

Sorry to provide some alternate facts, Bill. No doubt you’ll chicane around them. 

I won’t dispute anything you say because the facts you’re stating will probably be considered as dubious by some people (not me) due to their unfounded perception of Australia as a desolate sunbaked wilderness, inhabited only by Abo savages and gangs of descendants of deported lawless criminals.

Obviously you and I know that’s ridiculous but whose going to listen to us?

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21 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

To be fair "ripped" would have been a better choice altogether. "Torn" is a bit unwieldy - breaks the flow of the sentence and doesn't sound nearly as vicious.

You have a point. I thought I was being all ‘iambic pentameter’ but I wasn’t, because I’m a phoney cnut. I’ve let myself down here Kills, and I can’t even blame the ale. I’m finished here and if I’m being brutally honest, I never really got started.

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14 minutes ago, King Billy said:

I won’t dispute anything you say because the facts you’re stating will probably be considered as dubious by some people (not me) due to their unfounded perception of Australia as a desolate sunbaked wilderness, inhabited only by Abo savages and gangs of descendants of deported lawless criminals.

Obviously you and I know that’s ridiculous but whose going to listen to us?

Thick as mud. 

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1 hour ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

You have a point. I thought I was being all ‘iambic pentameter’ but I wasn’t, because I’m a phoney cnut. I’ve let myself down here Kills, and I can’t even blame the ale. I’m finished here and if I’m being brutally honest, I never really got started.

DC. Did you read this before you let Frank post it? 

What’s the cheesestring legged cunt got on you?

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7 minutes ago, King Billy said:

DC. Did you read this before you let Frank post it? 

What’s the cheesestring legged cunt got on you?

Ever since I’ve joined, Mrs Cnut has been dismissive. But lately, as soon as she wakes up, she rolls over towards me & says ‘has Frank been on?’ I normally look for you and some others, but you can’t ever deny that the man’s hypnotic.

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4 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Ever since I’ve joined, Mrs Cnut has been dismissive. But lately, as soon as she wakes up, she rolls over towards me & says ‘has Frank been on?’ I normally look for you and some others, but you can’t ever deny that the man’s hypnotic.

Oh dear.

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5 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Ever since I’ve joined, Mrs Cnut has been dismissive. But lately, as soon as she wakes up, she rolls over towards me & says ‘has Frank been on?’ I normally look for you and some others, but you can’t ever deny that the man’s hypnotic.

Is she waiting for an invite to board his yacht? 

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5 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Ever since I’ve joined, Mrs Cnut has been dismissive. But lately, as soon as she wakes up, she rolls over towards me & says ‘has Frank been on?’ I normally look for you and some others, but you can’t ever deny that the man’s hypnotic.

Mine has caught the odd glimpse of my phone over the years I've been posting on here.

Beyond being absolutely disgusted with the majority of shit that I post, she had a strange obsession with Quincy fucking Cockfingers.

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2 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Mine has caught the odd glimpse of my phone over the years I've been posting on here.

Beyond being absolutely disgusted with the majority of shit that I post, she had a strange obsession with Quincy fucking Cockfingers.

My other half has paid not the slightest regard to any other poster, ever, but was always checking to see if I'd mentioned her, the vain cow. I don't know if she was more disappointed when I did or if I didn't. Let's see if she's still checking:

Mrs Baws just asked me if her appendix scar made her look unattractive. With hindsight, “Don’t worry, love, your tits cover it”, was probably not the best answer.

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4 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Mine has caught the odd glimpse of my phone over the years I've been posting on here.

Beyond being absolutely disgusted with the majority of shit that I post, she had a strange obsession with Quincy fucking Cockfingers.

Didn’t we all 

The image of his triple chins wobbling over his awful yellow tie as he attempts to launch a dreadnought onto some poor cunts tongue is disturbingly erotic 

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16 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Ever since I’ve joined, Mrs Cnut has been dismissive. But lately, as soon as she wakes up, she rolls over towards me & says ‘has Frank been on?’ I normally look for you and some others, but you can’t ever deny that the man’s hypnotic.

You prize fucking idiot 

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31 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Mine has caught the odd glimpse of my phone over the years I've been posting on here.

Beyond being absolutely disgusted with the majority of shit that I post, she had a strange obsession with Quincy fucking Cockfingers.

I burst into the lounge several months ago, tears streaming down my face, breathless, to announce that I was number 2 cunt in Britain (leaderboard.) She never so much as glanced at my pride-swollen face but murmured something about me not even being the number 2 cunt in the house. I married beneath myself.

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15 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Indeed

The poor destitute coon is lodging in my shed number 3- eating spiders and bugs- just like his childhood in the fucking Congo 

lol

You might want to plant a load of cotton in the back garden Stubbs. This time next year the crop will be picked and neatly stacked in the shed, ready for market. In fact poor Ed will understand when you tell him there’s simply no room for him in the shed any more, due to the bumper crop and his surprising skill as a picker.

You can take him to the market too, (attached to a rope and trotting behind the car) and hopefully get a decent price for him.

Kerching!!

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6 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

I burst into the lounge several months ago, tears streaming down my face, breathless, to announce that I was number 2 cunt in Britain (leaderboard.) She never so much as glanced at my pride-swollen face but murmured something about me not even being the number 2 cunt in the house. I married beneath myself.

She definitely sounds like a keeper to me.

Keeper locked in the basement I mean. They love it after a while. 

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