Guest Lairy Larry Posted January 11, 2022 Report Share Posted January 11, 2022 Office jobs are shit. You know the type of bollocks, having to put on a tie and make small talk with shims to whom thou wouldn't usually spunk on if they were on fire. Coupled with the fact I don't know what I'm doing, ever, and even if I did, it doesn't matter because it's still boring desk monkey shit shit shit work. I can't think of an office job that's any good, and god knows I haven't tried. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 11, 2022 Report Share Posted January 11, 2022 8 minutes ago, Lairy Larry said: Office jobs are shit. You know the type of bollocks, having to put on a tie and make small talk with shim to whom thou wouldn't usually spunk of if they were no fire. Coupled with the fact I don't know what I'm doing, ever, and even if I did, it doesn't matter because it sill boring desk monkey shit shit shit work. I can't think of an office job that any good, and god knows I haven't tried. Learn to drive a lorry and stop whining like the ginger one out of the Waltons. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lairy Larry Posted January 11, 2022 Report Share Posted January 11, 2022 Just now, Eric Cuntman said: Learn to drive a lorry and stop whining like the ginger one out of the Waltons. Well now, I do rather like strangling prozzies so I would assume my basic HGV training is all but complete. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Parabolic Cunting Posted January 11, 2022 Report Share Posted January 11, 2022 18 minutes ago, Lairy Larry said: Office jobs are shit. You know the type of bollocks, having to put on a tie and make small talk with shims to whom thou wouldn't usually spunk of if they were on fire. Coupled with the fact I don't know what I'm doing, ever, and even if I did, it doesn't matter because it's still boring desk monkey shit shit shit work. I can't think of an office job that's any good, and god knows I haven't tried. I wield great power from an office. I suppose it depends what you're doing and how rewarding you find the torture of your subordinates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 11, 2022 Report Share Posted January 11, 2022 7 minutes ago, Lairy Larry said: Well now, I do rather like strangling prozzies so I would assume my basic HGV training is all but complete. Righty ho. If you're worried about disposal and avoidance of forensics, watch a few episodes of Quincy ME. Or ask @Neil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 11, 2022 Report Share Posted January 11, 2022 2 minutes ago, Parabolic Cunting said: I wield great power from an office. So do I. It's full of pickaxe handles, flick-sticks and cans of pepper spray. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lairy Larry Posted January 11, 2022 Report Share Posted January 11, 2022 Just now, Parabolic Cunting said: I wield great power from an office. I suppose it depends what you're doing and how rewarding you find the torture of your subordinates. I suppose......but what's with all of this zoom/teams/what app shite? Every wannabe pin-stripe cunt in the place thinks their that virgin from facebook all of a sudden. If this remote bollocks carries on I'm going to take the mother of all dumps in someone's coat pocket. It's making office work worse, if you could believe such a statement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Parabolic Cunting Posted January 11, 2022 Report Share Posted January 11, 2022 Just now, Lairy Larry said: I suppose......but what's with all of this zoom/teams/what app shite? Every wannabe pin-stripe cunt in the place thinks their that virgin from facebook all of a sudden. If this remote bollocks carries on I'm going to take the mother of all dumps in someone's coat pocket. It's making office work worse, if you could believe such a statement. We use a timekeeping app (started because of lockdown) and we integrated it into our own software. Now I can see what these cunts are doing every minute and can view all of the messages they receive. Productivity is way up. Slacking cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lairy Larry Posted January 11, 2022 Report Share Posted January 11, 2022 Anybody else on here confined to the offarse? Do tell some witty anecdotes, or preferably some cunt depressing one's as that would make yours truly feel a lot better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lairy Larry Posted January 11, 2022 Report Share Posted January 11, 2022 Just now, Parabolic Cunting said: We use a timekeeping app (started because of lockdown) and we integrated it into our own software. Now I can see what these cunts are doing every minute and can view all of the messages they receive. Productivity is way up. Slacking cunts. Anything juicy? Julie from accounts jungle bunny bukkake fantasies? Tim from shipping's anal accident with a shire horse? Come on man, give me something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Parabolic Cunting Posted January 11, 2022 Report Share Posted January 11, 2022 2 minutes ago, Lairy Larry said: Anything juicy? Julie from accounts jungle bunny bukkake fantasies? Tim from shipping's anal accident with a shire horse? Come on man, give me something. Lololol. No, I'm assuming all of that stopped as I announced we'd be using the app. My bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lairy Larry Posted January 11, 2022 Report Share Posted January 11, 2022 And I've got insomnia, due to counting down the hours, wide awake till I have to attend the virtual grief hole again. Woe is Larry. Off to bed now, to sleep, perchance to strangle-wank. Night night shitelords. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted January 11, 2022 Report Share Posted January 11, 2022 I work in an office too and the people I work with are a bunch of cunts at the best of times. This Covid situation makes them much worse, so I just go into the office on Monday and Friday just to experience how much I despise the cunts which makes me feel so much better about my own life when I'm working from home and at the weekend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammer of Cunts Posted January 11, 2022 Report Share Posted January 11, 2022 Christ! It sounds fucking awful I haven't worn a tie (or shaved) since I left school 45 years ago. I don't even know anyone who works in an office, well, only women. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted January 11, 2022 Report Share Posted January 11, 2022 Calling Norfolks own chief paperclip issuer @Decimus to the board for his office based wisdom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lairy Larry Posted January 11, 2022 Report Share Posted January 11, 2022 I'll be got rid-of in a little while, I can feel it coming. Never mind, I'll do a Guinness and undigested red meat special in someone's desk drawer as a goodbye. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted January 11, 2022 Report Share Posted January 11, 2022 12 hours ago, Cunty BigBollox said: I work in an office too and the people I work with are a bunch of cunts at the best of times. This Covid situation makes them much worse, so I just go into the office on Monday and Friday just to experience how much I despise the cunts which makes me feel so much better about my own life when I'm working from home and at the weekend. General office handyman I bet, who fixes the boilers when they cunt it up each winter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colonelkurtz Posted January 11, 2022 Report Share Posted January 11, 2022 Boss - "Ok everyone , we're starting dress down Fridays next week." Bert - dob fuck knows but mid to late 60's and definitely longest serving team member - "So what' s all this dress down palaver then ?" Us - "Just wear the stuff you'd wear at weekend Bert" Friday - Us - DM's , Ruts t shirts , Harringtons etc. Bert .. Laura Ashley floral print pinafore dress , cerise tights , sling back peep toe stilettos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted January 11, 2022 Report Share Posted January 11, 2022 Every fucking day is dress down Friday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted January 11, 2022 Report Share Posted January 11, 2022 2 hours ago, Lairy Larry said: I'll be got rid-of in a little while, I can feel it coming. Never mind, I'll do a Guinness and undigested red meat special in someone's desk drawer as a goodbye. What an intriguing new avatar, LL. Ironically, I'd imagine Frank's penis is very familiar with the same view. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lairy Larry Posted January 11, 2022 Report Share Posted January 11, 2022 10 minutes ago, Wolfie said: What an intriguing new avatar, LL. Ironically, I'd imagine Frank's penis is very familiar with the same view. Those greek birds are the dirtiest slags. Open wide. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted January 11, 2022 Report Share Posted January 11, 2022 14 hours ago, Hammer of Cunts said: Christ! It sounds fucking awful I haven't worn a tie (or shaved) since I left school 45 years ago. I don't even know anyone who works in an office, well, only women. Offices are well poofy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted January 11, 2022 Report Share Posted January 11, 2022 16 hours ago, Cunty BigBollox said: I work in an office Do you mean off-licence? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lairy Larry Posted January 11, 2022 Report Share Posted January 11, 2022 Just now, King Billy said: Offices are well poofy. You don't know the full horror of it W of O; pronouns on the end of company emails, rainbow badges in support of fudge-packery, manbuns, neckbeards and silent sharting. I'm in hell. It's no joke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lairy Larry Posted January 12, 2022 Report Share Posted January 12, 2022 If anything, remote working has made it worse; I can sleep in, wear what I want, I've also a bucket to piss into and I have a lovely relaxing shit before I get-up but all that comfort makes me feel worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.