Wash Your Fucking Hands

[Wolfie]

I was supping a few pints of local ale in the most gorgeous of rural pubs over the weekend, and consequently nature called. In spite of hot hand-wash facilities and an efficient hand drier, the fat cunt taking a piss next to me decided to open the bog door handle, after shaking his cheesy little maggot following a full blast of piss, without cleaning or drying his grubby paws. Sadly, as I'm sure most gents here have experienced, many coming out of the shitter also fail to wash their hands – in spite of provisions on offer.

While Frank may be unique in his fondness for this, and while it may be perfectly acceptable in your own home or countries such as France or Australia, it makes my fucking piss boil, as I don't wish to handle anything even remotely covered in anyone else's piss, smeg or shit.

So: Wash. Your. Fucking. Hands. In the unlikely event I ever become ruler of the free world, those not doing so will be hanged, drawn and quartered, and if they're still alive, promptly set on fire. Fucking filthy inconsiderate cunts.

[Witheredscrote]

Well most on here have washed their hands of you. lol lol.

[Penny Farthing]

41 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

I was supping a few pints of local ale in the most gorgeous of rural pubs over the weekend, and consequently nature called. In spite of hot hand-wash facilities and an efficient hand drier, the fat cunt taking a piss next to me decided to open the bog door handle, after shaking his cheesy little maggot following a full blast of piss, without cleaning or drying his grubby paws. Sadly, as I'm sure most gents here have experienced, many coming out of the shitter also fail to wash their hands – in spite of provisions on offer.

While Frank may be unique in his fondness for this, and while it may be perfectly acceptable in your own home or countries such as France or Australia, it makes my fucking piss boil, as I don't wish to handle anything even remotely covered in anyone else's piss, smeg or shit.

So: Wash. Your. Fucking. Hands. In the unlikely event I ever become ruler of the free world, those doing it will be hanged, drawn and quartered, and if they're still alive, promptly set on fire. Fucking filthy inconsiderate cunts.

I was hoping that you would boil your piss by stepping into a cauldron of boiling water.

[and]

37 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

I was supping a few pints of local ale in the most gorgeous of rural pubs over the weekend, and consequently nature called. In spite of hot hand-wash facilities and an efficient hand drier, the fat cunt taking a piss next to me decided to open the bog door handle, after shaking his cheesy little maggot following a full blast of piss, without cleaning or drying his grubby paws. Sadly, as I'm sure most gents here have experienced, many coming out of the shitter also fail to wash their hands – in spite of provisions on offer.

While Frank may be unique in his fondness for this, and while it may be perfectly acceptable in your own home or countries such as France or Australia, it makes my fucking piss boil, as I don't wish to handle anything even remotely covered in anyone else's piss, smeg or shit.

So: Wash. Your. Fucking. Hands. In the unlikely event I ever become ruler of the free world, those doing it will be hanged, drawn and quartered, and if they're still alive, promptly set on fire. Fucking filthy inconsiderate cunts.

So, are we to assume that you're creating this post from the 'little boys room' of said rural hostelry, or did you man-up and open the fuckin' door of the shitter and leave, then again, maybe you somehow managed to teleport yourself back to the bar?
Just asking, because it all seems like a load of your usual self-regarding drivel to me.
Incidentally, this is just another example of your posts obsessively mentioning bodily functions.
I just find it weird, as I've pointed out before, that you're always the first cunt casting aspersions about other peoples imagined proclivities in that direction, you filthy cunt.  🦙🐩

[southerncunt]

Fuck me, getting a lecture about hygiene from a Pom?

I remember reading something about the pubs over there ( which I love, by the way) that people were aghast when smoking was outlawed inside pubs because all of the sudden there was an overpowering stench of B.O? Smoke had masked the traditional bathing regime, or rather the lack of it.

The frogs, on the other hand…

[Eddie]

40 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

Well most on here have washed their hands of you. lol lol.

It’s no secret that the French are filthy, most of them wipe their arse with their hand and lick their fingers clean, the men didn’t even bother licking their fingers Fuck off.

[Jake The Muss]

I hope you never eat the peanuts left on the bar.

[Eric Cuntman]

1 hour ago, Wolfie said:

I was supping a few pints of local ale in the most gorgeous of rural pubs over the weekend, and consequently nature called. In spite of hot hand-wash facilities and an efficient hand drier, the fat cunt taking a piss next to me decided to open the bog door handle, after shaking his cheesy little maggot following a full blast of piss, without cleaning or drying his grubby paws. Sadly, as I'm sure most gents here have experienced, many coming out of the shitter also fail to wash their hands – in spite of provisions on offer.

While Frank may be unique in his fondness for this, and while it may be perfectly acceptable in your own home or countries such as France or Australia, it makes my fucking piss boil, as I don't wish to handle anything even remotely covered in anyone else's piss, smeg or shit.

So: Wash. Your. Fucking. Hands. In the unlikely event I ever become ruler of the free world, those doing it will be hanged, drawn and quartered, and if they're still alive, promptly set on fire. Fucking filthy inconsiderate cunts.

I would wash them even if I hadn’t pissed. Just so I could have a go on the Dyson ‘Airblade’ thingy.

[Decimus]

1 hour ago, Wolfie said:

I was supping a few pints of local ale in the most gorgeous of rural pubs over the weekend, and consequently nature called. In spite of hot hand-wash facilities and an efficient hand drier, the fat cunt taking a piss next to me decided to open the bog door handle, after shaking his cheesy little maggot following a full blast of piss, without cleaning or drying his grubby paws. Sadly, as I'm sure most gents here have experienced, many coming out of the shitter also fail to wash their hands – in spite of provisions on offer.

While Frank may be unique in his fondness for this, and while it may be perfectly acceptable in your own home or countries such as France or Australia, it makes my fucking piss boil, as I don't wish to handle anything even remotely covered in anyone else's piss, smeg or shit.

So: Wash. Your. Fucking. Hands. In the unlikely event I ever become ruler of the free world, those doing it will be hanged, drawn and quartered, and if they're still alive, promptly set on fire. Fucking filthy inconsiderate cunts.

My days of clubbing are long behind me, but washing your hands in back street student club was always a conundrum.

On the one hand, as I'm not an Arab or a frog, I usually hold with washing one's hands after splashing them with piss. However, these establishments invariably had a bog wog stood at the sinks with an assortment of Aramis, Old Spice and Lynx. If you approached the sink you would effectively be maced in the face and then aggressively coerced into giving them a quid for the pleasure of stinking like Neil on a hot date at Wetherspoons. 

Nine times out of ten I'd leave the toilet unwashed, no doubt giving some slapper a UTI after I finger blasted her behind the DJ deck.

[White Cunt]

1 hour ago, southerncunt said:

Fuck me, getting a lecture about hygiene from a Pom?

I remember reading something about the pubs over there ( which I love, by the way) that people were aghast when smoking was outlawed inside pubs because all of the sudden there was an overpowering stench of B.O? Smoke had masked the traditional bathing regime, or rather the lack of it.

The frogs, on the other hand…

You make a valid point, SC. I hope you do realise though, Australian climate amplifies the said BO radically?

 

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

As I have OCD levels of hand washing and have had since I was a young Raasclaat, I agree totally with this nomination. It really is shocking what some filthy fuckers do (or dont do) with regards to personal hygiene. The same can be said for filthy fuckers preparing food (raw meat) and spreading germs all around their kitchens, oblivious to their discusting practices and wonder why their dinner guests never come back. When I've used a toilet in a pub, restaurant etc, I wash my hands and then usually stick my hand in pockets before touching the filthy door handle, I've even been known to use my foot in some Kung fu type manoeuvre. There's a lot to said for keeping clean and limiting physical contact with others, that's why I didn't catch Covid until late on. 

Living in London there's also a small possibility that I could be in the same venue as Frank and God forbid touch a surface he has, knowing of his Aids diagnosis and whatever the fuck else he's got, it makes sense. 

[Decimus]

3 hours ago, cunt said:

Incidentally, this is just another example of your posts obsessively mentioning bodily functions.
I just find it weird, as I've pointed out before, that you're always the first cunt casting aspersions about other peoples imagined proclivities in that direction, you filthy cunt.  🦙🐩

Conversely, you can guarantee that any thread dedicated to human or animal waste will result in you popping up by the third post.

Seek help, you hard-sporting, deviant fucking cunt, you're obsessed.

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

4 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Conversely, you can guarantee that any thread dedicated to human or animal waste will result in you popping up by the third post.

Seek help, you hard-sporting, deviant fucking cunt, you're obsessed.

It's quite disturbing, he appears out of nowhere whenever anything remotely close to his favourite subject is posted here. I've noticed it in my relatively short time here and even Roops gave him a shit avatar the other day. Anyone with an ounce of decency would stop this vile obsession and if unable to would do the next best thing and kill themselves. Not @cunt though, the stupid cunt appears to be proud of his shitty status. What a fucking vile cunt. 

[Eric Cuntman]

16 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Conversely, you can guarantee that any thread dedicated to human or animal waste will result in you popping up by the third post.

Seek help, you hard-sporting, deviant fucking cunt, you're obsessed.

A hedgehog shat in my hand yesterday. That’ll keep the poo lobby stocked with material until the weekend 

[ProfB]

20 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

A hedgehog shat in my hand yesterday. That’ll keep the poo lobby stocked with material until the weekend 

Is he your pet Eric, or a wild thing?

[Eric Cuntman]

1 minute ago, ProfB said:

Is he your pet Eric, or a wild thing?

He was probably an orphaned one. If something happens to the mum, they wander off and usually die of hunger or cold. The rescue lady picked him up last night. He was quite happy with a cardboard box, some cat food and a hot water bottle for most of yesterday though.

[and]

53 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Conversely, you can guarantee that any thread dedicated to human or animal waste will result in you popping up by the third post.

Seek help, you hard-sporting, deviant fucking cunt, you're obsessed.

 

44 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

It's quite disturbing, he appears out of nowhere whenever anything remotely close to his favourite subject is posted here. I've noticed it in my relatively short time here and even Roops gave him a shit avatar the other day. Anyone with an ounce of decency would stop this vile obsession and if unable to would do the next best thing and kill themselves. Not @cunt though, the stupid cunt appears to be proud of his shitty status. What a fucking vile cunt. 

Oh wow, did you fudge-packing cunts have a circle-jerk and decide to club together and defend your favourite Llama farmer/Poodle fancying chum by writing another load of accusatory scat related drivel?
Well done🙄

[Eric Cuntman]

5 minutes ago, cunt said:

 

Oh wow, did you fudge-packing cunts have a circle-jerk and decide to club together and defend your favourite Llama farmer/Poodle fancying chum by writing another load of accusatory scat related drivel?
Well done🙄

Llama ffarma. 
 

I don’t mind you helping yourself to my intellectual property, but do it properly.

[Decimus]

11 minutes ago, cunt said:

 

Oh wow, did you fudge-packing cunts have a circle-jerk and decide to club together and defend your favourite Llama farmer/Poodle fancying chum by writing another load of accusatory scat related drivel?
Well done🙄

You seem to be labouring under the impression that regardless of what Wolfie says, I'll automatically defend him and frot anyone else who does the same.

Factually incorrect on two counts. He recently posted at length about respecting the queen. Obviously because that had nothing to do with shit, your little maggot didn't immediately perk up and take notice. However, if you would have slated him for it, you'd have got no resulting dig from me.

Secondly, Wolfie happens to hold an opinion that 99.99 percent of human beings share, that the collection, cataloguing and obsession with scat is a disgusting perversion and deserving of a severe cunting. I happen to be part of the 99.99 percent and consider you to be a vile pervert who should probably be locked up in Broadmoor.

The very fact that you assume I attack you to agree with Wolfie and not because I'm a normal person who is disgusted by you speaks volumes. 

I'll say it again, seek help.

[Decimus]

1 hour ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

It's quite disturbing, he appears out of nowhere whenever anything remotely close to his favourite subject is posted here. I've noticed it in my relatively short time here and even Roops gave him a shit avatar the other day. Anyone with an ounce of decency would stop this vile obsession and if unable to would do the next best thing and kill themselves. Not @cunt though, the stupid cunt appears to be proud of his shitty status. What a fucking vile cunt. 

You'll probably also recall that despite being tagged in the post where Mrs Roops advised him she'd changed his avatar because of his scatalogical intrigues, the thick wanker then went all 'Enemy of The State' and created a nomination accusing me of hacking his account and placing a shit on his head.

Not content with being the site's most collosal pervert, he's also seemingly intent on proving himself to be the most stupid fucking cunt in Christendom. He can consider that to be mission accomplished.

[Eric Cuntman]

1 minute ago, Decimus said:

You'll probably also recall that despite being tagged in the post where Mrs Roops advised him she'd changed his avatar because of his scatalogical intrigues, the thick wanker then went all 'Enemy of The State' and created a nomination accusing me of hacking his account and placing a shit on his head.

Not content with being the site's most collosal pervert, he's also seemingly intent of proving himself to be the most stupid fucking cunt in Christendom. He can consider that to be mission accomplished.

I forgot it was you who got blamed over the ‘shithead’ avatar. I’m pretty sure that Bill fucking Stickers disappearance was due to fear of a backlash from the ‘gaming’ community. He’s scared that Ereptyle might track him down using his PlayStation ‘Junior Commando Childfinder Helmet’.

[camberwell gypsy]

Nothing beats the cunt on the bakery at Sainsbury's a few years back, standing outside on his break, on his phone with his hand down the front of his strides, playing pocket billiards.  I never bought my Tottenham cakes from there again 

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

33 minutes ago, Decimus said:

You'll probably also recall that despite being tagged in the post where Mrs Roops advised him she'd changed his avatar because of his scatalogical intrigues, the thick wanker then went all 'Enemy of The State' and created a nomination accusing me of hacking his account and placing a shit on his head.

Not content with being the site's most collosal pervert, he's also seemingly intent of proving himself to be the most stupid fucking cunt in Christendom. He can consider that to be mission accomplished.

I remember him making a right cunt of himself during said nomination. Now I accept that most on here are slightly unhinged, angry, have mental health issues, and whatever else and thats fine, @cunt however is particularly sinister, he puts blame on others and accuses them of behaving the way he does, classic psychopath and fucking weirdo to boot. 

[Neil]

4 hours ago, Decimus said:

My days of clubbing are long behind me, but washing your hands in back street student club was always a conundrum.

On the one hand, as I'm not an Arab or a frog, I usually hold with washing one's hands after splashing them with piss. However, these establishments invariably had a bog wog stood at the sinks with an assortment of Aramis, Old Spice and Lynx. If you approached the sink you would effectively be maced in the face and then aggressively coerced into giving them a quid for the pleasure of stinking like Neil on a hot date at Wetherspoons. 

Nine times out of ten I'd leave the toilet unwashed, no doubt giving some slapper a UTI after I finger blasted her behind the DJ deck.

I'm not sure The Loft ever had bog attendants

[Decimus]

9 minutes ago, Neil said:

I'm not sure The Loft ever had bog attendants

I wouldn't know, Neil, but you seem to be reliably informed judging by the above statement.