Jesus H DC, you're giving me PTSD, that was me about 15 years ago. I trust to be absolutely clear in your mind you gave it a last shot with the old "I guess a bit of the old in and out's out of the question then?"
At least now when Mrs H comes staggering through the kitchen door I know what to expect. We don't need a liquidiser any more - I just give her a pint glass and ask her to hold it with both hands while I pour a pint of milk, some strawberry syrup and ice cream on it. I then leave the contents to settle on the floor for the cleaner, (who's seriously fit), who comes once a week.