Mike Hunt

How about "Uncle Ben goes to Iceland"?

1 hour ago, ChildeHarold said:

You have downloaded all the Victoria's Secrets videos haven't you?  Join Keith Lemon and The Bear. 

Have you still got the link? 

Only thing I remember about PETA is their anti-fur "I'd rather go naked" campaign, with some very tasty young ladies in the buff.  I couldn't support it myself though as I have always thought Mrs H looks far better wearing fur.

2 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

The wife’s leg calipers are superb & made in Sheffield. @Mike Hunt?

Mrs Hunt's certainly not worth owning.  She's a jock.

13 hours ago, Frank said:

Mike! Good morning. Will you be taking poor Mrs H anywhere nice for the summer?

Good evening Frank.  As a matter of fact we'll be going back to Skiathos again next month.  Hopefully her walker won't be in bits when we arrive this time.

Now what was that story you told me about someone you knew out there to do with a boat hire business? 

I agree CH, I just don't get myself wound up any more like you are by not watching any TV.  I'll watch whatever I want on YT and for unbiased reporting with no woke slant it's reuters.com.

'Bottom' line with Wragg is the timing.  He'd have been suspended had this happened months earlier, but the Tories know they can't afford the fallout from any more by-election defeats/scandals, so they're pretending the whole concept of being a politically exposed person (what a phrase, lol) doesn't matter.  That's the stupidity, believing the electorate are a bunch of non-thinking morons (although a worrying percentage are - whoever watches Gogglebox for starters).

15 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

How’s Mrs H, Mikey? Mine’s all peri-menopaused up. When she comes through the door I don’t know if I’m getting shagged or stabbed. I spent a whole day last week, scrubbing the fuck out of our gaff while she was overseas with work. Hoovering, floor mopping, dishwasher emptied, washing AND ironing…I even brushed the hound. There I was, standing as proud as punch when she walked into the kitchen…I was beaming. Do you know what the first words out of her ungrateful oestrogen-riddled mouth were? Well I’ll tell you. It went like this…she picked a cloth up, walked over to the fridge and screamed, ‘what the fuck are these fingerprints all over the fridge door-handle you fucking pig?’ 
In that moment I thought of you and, hand on heart, wished that she could join your wife in a wheelchair based future.

Jesus H DC, you're giving me PTSD, that was me about 15 years ago.  I trust to be absolutely clear in your mind you gave it a last shot with the old "I guess a bit of the old in and out's out of the question then?"

At least now when Mrs H comes staggering through the kitchen door I know what to expect.  We don't need a liquidiser any more - I just give her a pint glass and ask her to hold it with both hands while I pour a pint of milk, some strawberry syrup and ice cream on it.  I then leave the contents to settle on the floor for the cleaner, (who's seriously fit), who comes once a week.

On 27/03/2024 at 13:40, Roadkill said:

Are you fucking blind? She's a hook nosed sand person on the shit side of 40. She has jowls for fuck sake.

Do you wank it to Winston fucking Churchill too?

He was probably thinking she was Persia Monir's sister.

If any of those families could have read the runes on his shit-stained fingers, they'd have realised "I'm a sick child fucker" is a red light 🙄

1 hour ago, Wolfie said:

Granted, but wouldn't you celebrate the deaths of those from a Jewish-controlled superpower which supplied the bombs that killed your family?

The POTUSA and his military/decision makers possibly, but not ordinary people.

Anyone else remember the jubilant reaction footage from the Palestinians on 9/11? 

10 hours ago, Penny Farthing said:

Shit happens. Just brush it off the sheets and go back to sleep.

Fuck that, she does that herself, I'm in a different bedroom thank God.

1 minute ago, Frank said:

Roast dinner with all the trimmings for Mrs H this weekend, Mikey?

Sadly not, had planned on going out but the trimmings and giblets came out all over her bed last night so she decided to stay in to clean it up.

6 hours ago, Neil said:

I shall be having a few extra wanks on Friday, I always celebrate Red Cock Day

Is that what @ChildeHarold meant by "outdoor relief"? 

On 09/03/2024 at 22:14, Frank said:

@Mike Hunt I don’t believe much of what I read on these pages, however, DC is one of the few that has no skin in the game. Is Mrs Hunt dead already? ⚰️

Sadly not, she's a feisty woman who's sure to outlive me, based on cantankerousness stats.

On 09/03/2024 at 21:56, Dyslexic cnut said:

The graceful lady in question died three weeks ago. Mike PM’d some of us and some of us attended the funeral. Would you care to delete this comment in the interests of good taste, you squalid fucking spastic runt?

That was most upsetting and particularly cuntish.  You just reminded me of the freedom I could have had to pork any eligible 40-something+ woman and I'm now back in reality land ordering the incontinence pants.

On 03/03/2024 at 20:49, Eric Cuntman said:

How are you Michael? You’ve been quiet lately.

I'm good thanks Eric, just trying to behave myself so I avoid the wrath of Fwank... 

On 02/03/2024 at 17:41, Neil said:

Her neck looks like that scene in Catch 22 when they can't keep that blokes guts from falling out.

I was thinking she's more like the leper in Papillon.

8 hours ago, Penny Farthing said:

Jesus wept, one day I might just get through 24 hours without seeing a noir.

On 25/02/2023 at 14:53, White Cunt said:

I don’t know about you, but that face lift is quite scary.

https://facts.net/celebrity/23-fascinating-facts-about-richard-kiel/

I know she's not 7ft 2 but you can see the family resemblance.

11 hours ago, ChildeHarold said:

Are you being sarcastic you little shit? 

When you grow up child and become a man then you'll know.

10 hours ago, entitled little cunt said:

Don't buy on a flood plain , don't buy next to a river and especially dont buy on the edge of a  fucking cliff  in Norfolk .Those cunts always make me laugh."yes we bought out three bed detached house with a sea view for £5000  10 years ago and now we're going to lose it because of cliff falls and our sea view is now in our lounge .The goverment must help us " Why do you think you paid fuck all for it for fucks sake .

CUNTS CUNTS CUNTS .Most importantly if you work for the council dont give planning permission to build on at risk areas no matter how big the bung you're going to get from the developer. 

They can't complain

On 05/01/2024 at 23:05, ChildeHarold said:

Yep but the main point is he actually brought the first computers into the home? I thought that was the story. The C5 was a fucking brain aneurism exploited by cunts around him, that's the only way I can explain how he could go from hero to zero in five minutes. At the end of that he was virtually a laughing stock. It's a bit like remembering Burt Lancaster as a paralysed stroke victim in a wheelchair which he was at the end rather than the great actor he was, Valdez for example. 

Can't understand why Citroën took it on.  Or why Vauxhall choose to brand a car after a naff 70s aftershave.

Back on topic, I've never seen that Batman woman in the same room as John Sergeant or Jo Brand.

21 hours ago, ChildeHarold said:

The French stuff in a tall jar is a rip off because you can't get at the last scrapings at the bottom with a knife.

Sun Pat peanut butter! I even wrote to them asking why they make it nigh on impossible to get a knife/spoon/anything into the curved bits and why it's shaped like it is.  Their answer? "It's shaped like a peanut".  I couldn't give a shit if it's shaped like a cock as long as I can get the effing contents out.