KingRollo

I'd love nothing more, Stubbs, but I promised @Major Cunt I'd pack it in for a little while until I'd posted some non-Castle based stuff. Have to honour a promise, wot!

I remember Bob Ross GG, I used to think that was real art. Then I grew up!

C'mon Wolfie, don't be such a crybaby. This ain't nursery school...

Come now, Wolfie. Nobody is who they pretend to be on this site! Am I really a king? Is GG really an aspidistra from Arg? Is Punkape really a golfing cottager from Tower Hamlets? Are you really a precious petal who needs to rally your friends around you to sort out a playground tiff because you don't like the way Roops gives out likes?

Ok Major, just for you, I will! Might take me a little while mind you...

She must be good if she can distract the FBI from their enquiries about Master York's dubious past! What's her secret?

Well thank you for the admiration Wolfie - to quote Punkape, I'll take it where I can get it. I am also indebted to you for explaining the situation although I must confess, being an amateur and all, that I do struggle to understand why anybody would take a blind bit of notice about so-called character assisination on a site like this. By it's very nature, one is likely to come across more than one's fair share of people who "talk a good fight", wouldn't you agree? I'd also like to clarify that my earlier comment vis-a-vis Madame Roops was merely a reflection on my own thoughts and in no way an attempt to advise you as to how to address a lady, heaven forfend! Thank you Wolfie. It is always such a pleasure and to show no ill feeling, I have given you a like. KR

Hamburger stands... no hamburgers though...

She's had many things up there, GG, but an aspidistra leaf would be a novelty, even for her. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger eh? Do you want the Wayne Sleep or the Louie Spence crystals? I trust these will suffice and the vortex is not something we should worry about?

My mighty sceptre! Polished to a shine.

Truly revolting peasants, I agree. All is A1 at Lloyds over here - how's your good lady Queen?

Believe me, GG, he had his passport confiscated years ago. You have nothing to fear - if he leaves the Kingdom again, I don't have enough gold to bribe the various authorities who are after his head. However, he has offered to put a couple of crystals for you in my suitcase. I am happy to bring you some "dancing juice" but on the strict understanding that I can bypass customs and there will be no cavity searches. Agreed?

Punkape is usually exhausted, filthy and covered in thorns most evenings.

"Jesus Rollo, you're cackhanded!"

I was more an afficionado of DTST (Supertest) - nearly wore out the keys on my ZX Spectrum with that. Wizard was not impressed...

Come now, GG, don't be so modest. Socratic aspidistras are few and far between, you know. And yes, Wolfie has style but he needs to develop a thicker skin (fur?) when sparring with the corner's equivalent of Nicola Adams: Yes, all is well in the Kingdom. We are currently preparing for the weekly round up of executions - I'll have to get the guards to keep a special watch-out for Punkape. He was caught doing terrible things to the corpses last time...

I agree, GG. Wizard always said to me, "Rollo, manners maketh the man"... (Ironic, since he should really address me as 'Your Majesty', but for the sake of the point I'm trying to make, I will overlook this detail.) Anyway, it makes me sad to see such an upstanding, erudite and deeply sincere member of the corner such as Wolfie make a total ass out of himself by setting up noms, dropping names of fellow cornerites, and then giving them grief for responding. The right of reply is not negotiable, young Wolfling, you ought to know better. Also, saying mean things about Roops just because she knows more than you do is hardly the gentlemanly thing to do, is it? When Wizard felt that I had forgotten his lessons in manners, a sharp reminder (which involved a pointy staff and a lot of pain) was the usual recourse. I sincerely hope it doesn't come down to such antics here. You won't like it!

Actually, the preferred method of dental treatment in the castle involves a piece of string, a heavy wooden door and a sadistic Wizard. I fear he has dark motives for rendering the whole court toothless...

Wizard's literally the last person in the Kingdom to prohibit a late night tipple. The man is permanently hungover. I mean, look at him: Like the lovechild of Victor Meldrew and Jimmy Hill.

Did you ever do the pat-pat of your back pocket a la Asda adverts in the '80s? I am sure Punkape did (though possibly not his own back pocket...)

To get the vodka and make a night of it!

Too sweet. Couldn't stand it...

I am indeed a secret lemonade drinker. What do you imagine Punkape drinks in secret?

Definitely Soft Cell for Punky... I reckon he aspires to be the next Marc Almond:

You'd opt for the bassoon...