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Cuntybaws

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Everything posted by Cuntybaws

  1. She has to spout this line, though, given her target demographic. It's a bit like Idris Elba claiming that zombie knives aren't a "monocultural" problem. I mean, good on him for lending his voice to the issue at all, but he's fooling nobody with that particular shite, just because 0.0001% of offenders may not be black. He's the anti-Dolezal.
  2. Or Nkechi Amare Diallo, her latest self-adopted Nigerian name. The logical conclusion of the semi-homeopathic notion that even 0.0001% of African genetic heritage means that you're African, regardless of appearance, is that the entire population of the world can claim to be black thanks to those australopithecine cunts. In which case, where's my fucking compo, eh?
  3. At least CH and ELC have their moments, albeit few and far between. It's just about worth digging through their shite for the odd nugget of sweetcorn.
  4. Traditionally, it's The Sydney Arms.
  5. I'm a pussycat really.
  6. This is what you get when you tell an AI to write an article for a red top newspaper, having first disabled the "no stupid cunts" filter. Based on this nomination I also have my suspicions that Fender has been replaced by just such an AI. How else might one explain the lack of references to nuns and/or hammers.
  7. She's been laid up ever since an altercation with King Billy got out of hand over the festive period.
  8. In the olden days they used to simply sense our disapproval, which shamed them into upping their game. Now they have to be explicitly instructed to kill themselves,
  9. This is why Apple introduced a panoramic picture mode.
  10. It brings the honourable profession of “half-wit” into some disrepute!
  11. And Flids and Tards - someone should invent a game along these lines...
  12. 'I've lost over £4,000 because of the ADHD tax' Meet Rach Idowu, who may not be the very "Stupidest Cunt Ever" but who certainly makes it on to the podium. Not only does the intellectually challenged retard miss flights and forget to pay her credit card, she describes her resultant losses as a "tax" and repeats this stupidity on the BBC so that the wider public will know she's a fucking moron too. Of course, it's all the fault of ADHD, which is right up there with ASD on today's list of excuses for any sort of dumbfuckery on the part of the younger generation. Shame we can't just send these cunts to Rwanda.
  13. If my mother-in-law goes to a concert and ends up dead I'll be fucking delirious! Les Dawson, RIP.
  14. In point of fact, Australia doesn't even make it into my Top Fifty List of Despised Nations. That said, I still maintain that "On The Beach" is a comedy.
  15. It was so cold in Liverpool today that police found two Scousers with their hands in their OWN pockets!
  16. I can assure you it's true, but as I'm only a third cousin seven times removed I still have to buy a ticket just like every other cunt. Mrs Baws is massively into genealogy and has parish records which trace my lineage directly back to Rabbie himself, and there are DNA matches in confirmed lines back to shared relatives. More recently, and less Scottishly, I'm also vaguely related to David Niven.
  17. Hey, fuck off Wolfie, can't you see I'm grooming him? I fancy diving the Great Barrier Reef and the South Pacific next year, and I'll need somewhere to stay for a few months between trips.
  18. Turn up wearing a Union Jack waistcoat and a Jimmy Hill mask. You won't be there long. I keep a switchblade in my sporran for just such an eventuality. As a very distant (and against all odds legitimate) direct descendant of the Ayrshire Bard I always look forward to the 25th. Traditional haggis is an acquired taste, but these days it's mostly done all fancy schmancy - haggis and potato bon bons in a creamy whisky sauce, for example. Fucking lovely!
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