Jiggerycock

A recent convert to Islam you say? Rather like the victims of Vilyım Tell here, I never saw that one coming

Couldn't they just play 'Gimmee Shelter' a dozen times, in a sort of woke penance gesture?

Think Marcus Rashford is organising a demo, but I may have got crossed-wires on this one.

Cultural appropriation is in itself racist isn't it? I mean who's to say what culture whatever stuff is, notionally, from? The blues.....doom metal......professional football......jeans.....lobster thermidor....fucking hell it's getting mighty crowded, dancing on this pinhead, be it breakdancing, pogoing, the Viennese Waltz, Twist, Boogie or Madison (phew I hope I've covered all bases. You don't want to be accused of racism do you - you could end up losing your job)

It's because they have to swear fealty to the Monarch and there's as much chance of that as Graeme Norton getting a Father's Day card

Oh that's just the spurned lover in you talking!

Panz - it was good whilst it lasted my dear and I know you must be hurting. But these entreaties - heartfelt as they undoubtedly are, must now stop. We are not coming back and you really must move on. If it helps, mutual friends have told me that Monsieur Macron has taken a shine to you as has that new guy next door in Germany. They are warm, generous lovers so I'm told, until you actually meet them...... I take it you've tried painting your room black and playing Ronnie James Dio records at 11, going on a totally unsustainable diet and exercise regime, in addition to the scribblings of these fierce shards of manic poetry herein. I hope this helps you get over our time together, but please, don't force us to go for the restraining order....that would be unseemly and sully the memory of our wonderful times together

I'm not a gynaecologist but I know one when I see one....... https://headtopics.com/uk/drivers-pack-their-cars-with-jerry-cans-while-panic-buyers-queue-21929066

She's the one who, whilst International Trade Secretary, quietly oversaw the successful negotiation of several dozen post-Brexit, trade deals including one completed within a few months, with Japan. Competency. Ability to deliver and (see postings passim) 'a cracking pair of tits' - nah......that'll never work

Educandi nos non sumus Ne coacti credamus Sarcasmus ater in conclavi. Magister linque pueros. MA-GISTER LINQUE PUEROS! Tu omnino later fies hoc in muro. Tu omnino later fies hoc in muro.

Where do you start? How about collecting right-backs like Tesco Customers collect Clubcard points? As for this 'Green' load of old monkeyspunk, I'd let them turn up in a 50 year-old, diesel-powered charabanc, that does 9 miles to the gallon, with Harry Kane farting enough methane to cover the ongoing gas deficit causing the breakdown of the British retail and power sector, if we could score a goal from open play. Hell, I'd even open negotiations at ' missing out the first defender at set-pieces'!

I didn't give 'deep fried with a heroin coating' as an option

Sort of my point Do you deal with any extreme issue by advocating for the polar opposite in vehement terms - or for a middle-ground around which (hopefully) the vast majority can coalesce?

As with any two-week lockdown, the first 567 days are the worst

.....or indeed in the advertisements during the programme. Apparently this is all to confront the scourge of racism (see also footballers kneeling before games). Whilst no one can argue that racism is deplorable, over-compensation and uncritical acceptance of an establishment-led narrative is not the way to deal with it. I usually find that honesty and not treating your audience like mugs or part of a social manipulation experiment is probably the best way forward.

Human Pooh-sticks isn't swimming for fuck's sake!

Is it too much to ask that a news programme goes 'this is what happened today' AND THAT'S IT ? Course, you still get editorial decisions as to which events got coverage - but it would be less about 'how' and 'who by'

Fierce popstar early on - checkout 'Sheep Farming In Barnet' - like Claire Grogan, before they went (literally and metaphorically) sucked the cock of 'Da Man'

'Retweeted' you say? I think appearance on the Twitter platform is the British Kite Mark standard for imbecility isn't it?

Britain’s modern cult of animal worship is sentimental. It is survival of the Instagrammable.

It was a complete bloody shambles. His fucking stupid owner knew this was coming (rightly or wrongly) but instead of tethering it a quiet barn, it was allowed to run free, whilst its 'supporters' live streamed the entire fiasco on the Internet. The poor animal lived its final hours in distress, which could have been avoided if the owner and 'supporters' weren't such fantastic ego-trippers and really were concerned about animal welfare and not media opportunities about a cute ickul fluffy-wuffy alpaca. Mind you coming hard on the heels of the nation's response to Pen Farthing and his sense of entitlement regarding his Afghan Hounds then I'm not surprised. We're not an nation of animal lovers - only if they're cute and fluffy and look nice and make us feel good about ourselves.

Wait 'til they introduce the 'scratch and sniff' version

I'll have a fiver on Ron Jeremy! I hear he's up before the beak and if that doesn't end up full-scale 'Jeffrey Epstein' then I'm sure lack of access to the antiretrovirals that are surely keeping the disease-riddled old fucker (first time that's been used correctly in here in eons) alive surely will. Whaddye mean he wasn't in Love Island? He IS a Love Island, the corpulent whisker-puncher

Fred Trueman and Buster Mottram could have been 'our men in Nairobi'. Gone on the piss there with Paulo Di Canio....

Lord Botham of Botham City is now a trade envoy to Australia. Arjuna Ranatunga was the Minister for Trade and Aviation in Sri Lanka What next in this trend of '70's cricketers turning their hands to politics'? Mike Procter becoming Chancellor of The Exchequer for Matabeleland? Larry Gomes becoming Minister without Portfolio' for St Vincent and The Grenadines? It could happen - you have to have a dream.....