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Jiggerycock

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Status Updates posted by Jiggerycock

  1. Honesty and unpopular opinions are the toughest sell in a country with an irony-deficiency

  2. I'm convinced I live my life 30 decibels lower than everyone else. There's a lot of loud bastards cluttering up the place, saying nothing.....loudly.

  3. I feel like a pig has shat in my head

  4. Ever take a punch in the ribcage, sonny?

  5. Ever get the feeling you've been cheated?

  6. In the words of Comrade #1 Ian Dury "Arseholes, bastards, fucking cunts and pricks"

    1. Show previous comments  8 more
    2. Guest

      Guest

      decimus?wtf? that was over a week ago...

    3. Decimus

      Decimus

      Sometimes I don't know who or where I am, Dingers.

    4. Guest

      Guest

      neither do we........................

  7. Whiteboards are remarkable

  8. Here in my car - I feel safest of all.....

    1. Cuntybaws

      Cuntybaws

      Safer than in his fucking plane, for sure...

  9. Oh I love my Cracklin' Rose.....

  10. When you're in love with a beautiful woman - it's hard.

  11. STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON! Then second left, follow the ring road, you can’t miss it.

    1. Guest

      Guest

      I wouldn't go there in the first place...

  12. Grocer Jack, Grocer Jack - Is it true what Mummy says, you've got the clap? Oh no no!

  13. If someone's more of a dick than me, then we have a real problem. I am the biggest dick on this site and it's gonna stay that way even if I have to inject collagen into it for a month. If I have to get a sturgeon to vomit caviar into my swollen membranes so that I have a dick as big as a sturgeon, then that's what I'll do

  14. Use a toffee hammer on the wanksocks to break up the surface strata - Hey Presto! Fish treacle for the kiddie’s lunch box.

  15. Colplay! Look at your pants / See how they're full of poo / an evil smelling goo / and the front is all Yellow

  16. Georgia's on my mind

  17. (To the tune of 'The Mickey Mouse Club') What is fun, for everyone and never makes a mess? C-U-N. N-I-L. I-N-G-U-S!

    1. Cuntybaws

      Cuntybaws

      Courvoisier - ain't that one of them fancy lickers?

  18. After Giuliani cleaned up all the porno out of Times Square, his next order of business was banishing me from Manhattan. He did everything to keep me out of there, even going so far as blowing up the Twin Towers, my favorite landmark. But it hasn't worked, and I have triumphed and I am back to lay waste to the fucking city.

  19. A video of your death (engulfed by a giant salivating pig) will be uploaded onto You Tube and receive one billion hits and one million comments - none of them complimentary.

    1. Guest

      Guest

      Complimentary to the video?

      Get a better editor....

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