Jiggerycock

Is this the 'Without Kate Garraway' market?

The continuity announcer from Border TV

Chaka Demus (but, interestingly, not Pliers)

Red Rum

It's a fucking cess-pit of filth, I'm telling ya.

Disclaimer - I don't watch this (literal) offal but Mrs Jiggers seems to think it's part of her life-support system, so it floats into my consciousness every so often.

.....and when it does, it's this herbert sounding like he's bringing himself off in the sound booth, about the dishes that have been slung together.

"Jeff has cooked a pithivier of Ceps (it's always fucking 'Ceps') {urgh,urgh}, mung beans in a reduced kangeroo stock Jus {slight squeal like Minnie Ripperton on crack}....a bouquet garni {urgle! urgle!} topped off with a dollop of swan cum, chips, beans and Vimto {name the babies after me-e-e-e-e!}"

That kind of thing.

The idea of progressivism is almost entirely a Western construct. How progressive is the great majority of the global population in relation to the Western, liberal population?

If the progressives among us were sincere they would be pushing their agendas within non-progressive populations where the greatest gains are to be made, instead of trying to maximise the margins in a market already saturated with progressivism.

That would be too dangerous for them.

Easier to pretend, in the West, where you are indulged.

My new app is about to go live on all mainstream platforms - and I couldn't be more excited.

It enables the user to see where they are going!!

Yeah - imagine that. What a boon to perambulation it's going to be.

I've also discovered that your i-phone and i-pad is also a set of scales, ruggedized to  accept the weight of anything up to an enhanced armour Warrior tank.

Try it! It's amazing! Just put it on the floor and jump on it!

On 03/10/2023 at 20:26, ChildeHarold said:

Wants Suella Braveman for next PM

Range Rover

Pays the extra to have garden waste collection

Waitrose and M&S - dresses up to shop food

Prep school then minor fee paying public school OR scholarship eagerly accepted  to desert state school system after gaining excellent exam results or showing exceptional musical or other talent

Absolutely no respect or responsibility towards other people or neighbours completely selfish self contained. 

 

Eh?

More likely to be a member of the SWP, like Mr Kendall-Mintcake in Bambi (The Young Ones)

Ask your mum or dad. They'll learn yer.

North Face gilet

Peleton subscriber

Ed Sheeran fan

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-66920778

We've not only jumped the shark with this one, we - The Zeitgeist - appear to have done it in order to access the Doberman Pinscher and the Cockapoo.

Chris Packham needs to up his game when it comes to breaking the law for a noble cause.

22 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

That's why Surrey are literally unbeatable in the Championship. I'd like to see them against this aussie side. But it seems the old days of test teams touring here and playing county sides are a thing of the past.

I remember as a kid watching Surrey at the oval playing the touring teams.

Wasn't a kid but I remember Alan Butcher getting 140 against the Indians in 1986. 

I go back to Geoff Arnold and Robin Jackman torturing fellow Surry-ite Intikhab Alam when he was playing against them for Pakistan, rheumy-eyed old cunt that I am

8 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Rashid only plays white ball cricket because his shoulder is fucked. There's Surrey's offie Will Jacks or Rehan. Both have test wickets to their name. I'd go for Jacks as he can bat.

....and he plays in the 'Up and at 'em' style favoured by McCullum and Stokes

17 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

Not even close.

Not 'Queen of the South?' he asked, coquettishly....

Weird kind of sado-masochism in which one indulges in a brutal exercise to produce little of tangible benefit.

12 minutes ago, Decimus said:

I don't watch or play golf, Neil, due to it not being a real sport and the fact that I've not yet lost control of all my bodily functions. 

Eat shit, you old cunt.

But it's rumoured you love wearing pastel coloured trousers so, y'know, just give it time......

Standard BBC practise

Ghislane Maxwell gets sent down for procurement of under-age girls - next moment her quarter-wit of a brother is given prime airtime to explain how it's a travesty and she's just a misunderstood old pimpstress.

Not that it'd be any more acceptable but some sink-estate kiddy-fiddler gets done for his lowlife crimes; you don't expect his snaggletoothed missus to appear on the Breakfast TV couch to be bowled a series of long-hops by Naga and Charlie, as to how he's a total sweetheart

On 25/12/2022 at 23:27, Uncle Meatus said:

I don't post much here because I'm usually busy elsewhere and I don't like the animosity but this definitely deserves a mention.

Old Pussy. 

Ladies of a certain age have this habit of trimming their pubes even knowing no white male human will ever see it.

Now, when you win that hot 50 Year old bitch and pull her skinny jeans down and discover massive pants that require both hands to pull to one side and discover what feels like a fucking Yard Brush you'll know what I'm talking about. 

Fuck off Already.

Bloody hell mate  it's going to be tough hitting your sweet spot.

"I joined the BNP but I don't like the racism"

19 hours ago, Decimus said:

Speaking of the Welsh, I've just finished watching the Denmark vs Tunisia game and ITV wheeled out John Hartson as co-commentator.

I don't know whose bright idea it was to pay him money to provide commentary, but I couldn't understand a word the whispering cunt was saying. I'm half expecting Rosie Jones to be providing analysis for the France vs Australia game tonight.

It is difficult to hear what he's saying, what with his tongue lodged so far up Gareth Bales arsehole

7 minutes ago, Neil said:

Put some fucking bones on this you cunt, There must be 5000 Mark Wrights in the country, we're not mind readers (Not that you've got anything to read)

Thought he made the difference when he turned sweeper in the 1990 World Cup

" ....and at 've end ov 've day, you gotta give credit to vat Little Girl in 've red riding hood. Propah done a numbah on vat wolf. Triffic!"

Paddy Brennan has just gone through the card at Huntingdon - bet the useless cunt never backed him

48 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Tell us about your days sat in the audience for 'The Good Old Days'. 

 "Where's me washboard?!"

....and seeing the latest Walter Pidgeon release at the Gaumont, fish and chips and a pint of mild an' still have change left from a florin!

Cunt should just introduce  an urgent windfall tax on purple hair and pronouns.

HMRC would trouser billions

....and if he was a vegan (and he's bound to be, since it's part the student job description) where did he find the strength to sustain a stalk-on, without blacking out?

Never happened!

1 hour ago, Mrs Roops said:

If he carries on with the cod-Jamaican bollux, then yes, there's a very good chance.

Is that what it is?

I thought it was some bizarre Tourettes / Need to show off / Esperanto thing he (?) has going on

I'm an alligator
I'm a mama-papa comin' for you
I'm the space invader
I'll be a rock 'n' rollin' bitch for you
Keep your mouth shut
You're squawking like a pink monkey bird
And I'm bustin' up my brains for the words

Informer, ya' no say daddy me Snow me I go blame
A licky boom boom dem
'Tective man a say, say daddy me Snow me stab someone down the lane
A licky boom boom dem