Rev

Never watched it, but was always intrigued about how Mary Berry gave her other half a hand-job with her sclerotic Jeremy Beadle hands. Perhaps she just hoists her kilt up and lets her crusty old stinking yeast cake flop out to her knees and watches him having a pedal, while she wrings the Thrush out of her bri-nylon gusset.

Fucking amateurs.

I'm utterly shocked that your kind offer has been so rudely summarily dismissed, Gypo. If it's of any consolation, I will gladly keep you occupied for a few minutes and have a go on your tits as a selfless conciliatory gesture. But I must forewarn you, I expect you to scream sweet profanities in my ear and supply your own peanut butter. Blood-letting is entirely optional, but it may affect my performance.

This hook-nosed, jaundiced streak of cross-dressing, comedy-vacuum piss needs sealed in a concrete chamber with that other fat hairless lefty cottaging lesbian Matt Lucas and exposed to a canister or two of post-Weimar pesticide. Then incinerated. That is all.

I'd slap this Desperate Dan looking bottle-blonde cunt good-looking and give her a good old traditional fingering until she had to wring the Thrush out of her crusty gusset.

To be honest, I'm not a fan of the Jolie hoor Mr B, but if pushed, I'd jet-wash the lantern-jawed Pitt cunt's tubby custard out of her slobbering uterus and proper fucking bruise her bastard kidneys, then simply finish off by sitting on her missing tits, rip the fucking skin off the old fella and give the Mekon-looking cunt a proper hosing with the Rev's special chutney. ...obviously after I'd asphyxiated the cunt and combed the vintage toffee-strings out of my arse-hairs with the Viet-Cong adopting sow's ridiculous teeth. Hope this helps in bringing clarity to and establishing my position.

This gammy-jawed republican cunt should be sacked. But Bunter Blackford has instead withdrawn the whip from the heroin-soaked sow. She can barely write her fucking name at the best of times, but this exemplifies Scottish politics and she won't surrender her £78k (plus £120k+ expenses) pa. Cunt. I want her dead.

Personally speaking, I'd be sunk to the fucking nuts up Maleficent's tubes, live action, or not. She looks a proper filthy bastard.

I suspect it might take a dozen of us just to make her clapper airtight, judging by that picture. I'd still rattle the cunt up the mud-hut and bruise her lungs.

I'd probably flip old Amanda over and hammer her up the dung-hatch to be honest. I'm sure her cervix, while possibly still being serviceable (and more than accommodating) will almost certainly be leaking a constant flow of Thrush with the consistency of Dairylea years after the irretrievably unfunny Les Dennis cunt slung his flaccid lady-finger up there. Naturally, as a gentleman, I would take the precaution of applying a builder's rubble bag over her head and secure it in place with a couple of zip-ties around her throat for that Michael Hutchence experience. Albert de Salvo was a cunt.

I've mulled over this nomination, even given it some serious consideration and have concluded, I'd fuck the tubby one and drown the other three wall-eyed talent-resistant cunts in my favourite culvert just outside Aberfeldy. Jack Elam was a cunt.

If ever there was a cunt needing properly Sutcliffed with an inordinate degree of prejudice before being Sparta-kicked through a bark-stripper, it's this magnolia-toothed, Cliff-felching fucking sow. One can only imagine her highly discoloured and oily giblets must nowadays resemble a slobbering bulldog with a galloping yeast infection. I want her dead.

I wonder if the Swash cunt has ever got his wife's gammon hangers to froth like a bill poster's bucket...or even if the pigshit-thick puddle-drinking bastard would want to. I'm convinced she's that cottaging chut Rylan Whatever-his-fucking-name-is, who has a detachable Rolf Harris beard and occasionally tucks her cock between her legs. How this pair of mouth-breathing arseholes with the collective IQ of a fucking Twix achieved celebrity status is fucking beyond me. I want them dead.

To be honest, once the sodium sulfate works it's inevitable piath down to your frenulum, it's fucking Game Over. The positive aspect is that it kills the Thrush you've just contracted off your latest dead hooker. Win/win in my book.

Indeed. They were an appallingly shite band to be fair. However, I was both voevod and ReverendCoitus in previous incarnations. I was a cunt then and am a cunt now. Consistency is the key, I believe.

Why, thank you for your very eloquent testimonial, Mr B. Yes, yes I do hate those parochial nationalist arse-candle cunts...although it would take me very little persuasion indeed to fuck the absolute piss out of Kate Forbes, if only as a salient reminder to her evidently commodious gammon hangers that galloping Thrush doth not a political point make. She's a bit of a tough wank, buy I'm resolute in my intention of making her paraurethral ducts gush...in the nicest possible way, of course.

It's the Parfitt Tele, Spotto. A Tony Rockett build. Think he's retired now. You could launch it out of a speeding car and because it has that Gibson wraparound bridge, the fucker will stay in tune. Excellent piece of kit.

Yes. Yes, you are absolutely correct in your assertion. You are indeed a cunt. Please fuck right off at your earliest convenience. Arrivederci bastardo.

I reckon old Emily's flaps have a piquancy of oven-fresh Bakewell Tart. She needs pinned down to her news desk and throat-fucked. Dustin Hoffman's a cunt.

I'd fuck her.

I'm out of the loop on the internecine feuding on here, but had my day brighten immeasurably upon learning that one of those Commie AntiFa/BLM fuckwits managed to get his empty head flattened when the statue he was pulling down burst his skull like an over-ripe turnip. I do hope it's life-changing and that he spends the remaining time he has left pissing and shitting into a bag. Michael Schumacher's a cunt.

This ginger cunt-stick can fuck right off. There's as much chance of me apologising for being white as there is of black people apologising for rap music and innit culture. They can take my knee and blooter it up their swarthy fucking dung-hatches. Sidney Poitier is a cunt.

Old news now, but I'll similarly never tire of looking at her rather jaunty tits. Ten years from now the cunts will be scraping the pavement in front of her and her soggy labia will be slopping around her fucking arthritic ankles. But for now I'd still empty my clackerbag down her neck.

Far from wishing to diverge from the quite cerebral political discourse regarding Ms Patel here, if it's of any help at all, I'd bruise her fucking kidneys black and blue all night long.

This alien-felching spastic-knuckled IQ of a fucking Toblerone, kwashiorkor-bellied mullet bastard needs glassed with a dimpled pint tumbler and relieved of his fingers and toes with a pair of blunted secateurs. Any cunt with the sartorial elegance of Savile should be blinded and knee-capped with a paving slab. Magnolia-toothed Lego-eating bastard. Richard Dreyfuss is a cunt.