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Rev

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Status Updates posted by Rev

  1. Aye up, Spotto. Long time no see. Am building up my collection of guitars, yet it still has to match your's. Got a (limited edition run of 24) Sweetwater/Danelectro Dc59 recently. What a fantastic sound! 

    1. Rev

      Rev

      Doing alright, Jacko, you? I think the pub in Prague was called Rocky O'Reilly's. I fucking despise the SNP with my every fibre, they're scum. I get my political invective against the bastards published every now and then in the dailies up here and won a bottle of Glenglassaugh scotch for Letter of the Week recently.

  2. Handy cunt tip #1 - Don't eat Greek salad midweek. I've been farting chunks of Halloumi, sun-ripened tomatoes and pumpkin seeds like a fucking Sekiden gun all morning.

    1. Rev

      Rev

      Cheers, Dukes. In the end, it was like curling out a freshly irradiated ingot of fucking Polonium. My poor fucking arse felt like the Bakerloo Line during rush-hour.

  3. In response to grumpers' lumpy farts. Yesterday, after a turd that resembled a badly made banoffee fritter, I thundered out a post-natal fart in the bath and around six or seven sweetcorn kernels assembled around the spot where the bubbles burst. Needless to say, I saved them for re-cycling.

  4. I have returned. Prague's for cunts.

  5. Evan Davis. Creepy photo-fit face of a bastard.

  6. Setting an elaborate and grisly trap for the bastard fox who's left congealed shit-lumps on my new decking. Cunt.

    1. Guest

      Guest

      Set a glue trap then pour acid on the cunts head.

  7. Arse. That is all.

  8. Pulled pork (on a plate, in barbecue sauce, for a meal, you puerile cunts), cauliflower cheese and garlic potatoes for dinner last night. Fucking lovely. Imagine my surprise when I discovered it smelled even better after falling out of my arse this morning..although, perhaps not meeting the same appetising or aesthetic standard.

    1. Jiggerycock

      Jiggerycock

      "That's not any old fecal matter - That's Rev's Marks and Spencers Pulled pork fecal matter"

  9. Pulled pork (on a plate, in barbecue sauce, for a meal, you puerile cunts), cauliflower cheese and garlic potatoes for dinner last night. Fucking lovely. Imagine my surprise when I discovered it smelled even better after falling out of my arse this morning..although, perhaps not meeting the same appetising or aesthetic standard.

  10. Rampant pole-dancers with well-moist strummed clit-hoods...these are a few of my favourite things. Julie Andrews is a cunt.

    1. Guest

      Guest

      From all accounts she had a cunt like a sailors hammock.

    2. Jiggerycock

      Jiggerycock

      That doesn't rhyme! "Rampant pole-dancers with mint fanny batter / Brony Keith is a chiselling twatter". That sort of thing.

  11. Rampant pole-dancers with well-moist clit-hoods...these are a few of my favourite things. Julie Andrews is a cunt.

  12. Rampant pole-dancers with well-strummed clit-hoods..these are a few of my favourite things. Julie Andrews is a cunt.

  13. Arse, tits, fanny and squirting..although not necessarily in that order.

    1. Guest

      Guest

      Which bit is squirting?

    2. Rev

      Rev

      The best bit.

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