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Rev

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Posts posted by Rev

  1. I'm not entirely sure I really give a flying shit about cricket to be honest, Jake.

    However, I fully concur with your view of football. It is the very definition of a poof's game, whereas cricket seems rather LGBTQI to me.

    Pronouns are for cunts.

  2. On 18/05/2021 at 14:47, camberwell gypsy said:

    I remember one character who used to turn up for my diabetes clinic a few years back who was at least 6 stone overweight, who I would see out and about who was always munching away on something. He would even sit in the waiting room with a family size bag of revels or Maltesers. He knew he was overweight but he seriously couldn't give a fuck. 

    Found out couple of weeks ago he had a massive stroke and died. 39 years old.

    What a beautiful story.

    t's anecdotes like this that warm the cockles of my fucking heart. 

    • Like 1
  3. I'd have thought that bollock-eyed cunt Schofield would present shite like this. 

    His foetid hoop must be that loose that any of his contemporary sausagers would feel like they were fucking a bowl of lukewarm soup.

    • Like 2
  4. I'm not entirely fucking sure what kind of reaction you're seeking here. What kind of cunt lives in an HMO with swarthy migrants sporting cum-flecked turbans and fairies riddled with Freddy Mercury poisoning?

    Nail the cunt's scrotum to a table and stab the bastard in the fucking teeth. This is common sense. It's not fucking rocket science.

    Wernher von Braun was a cunt.

  5. On 16/02/2022 at 19:17, Eric Cuntman said:

    @Decimus

    @Dyslexic cnut

    @Roadkill

    @Stubby Pecker

    @scotty

    @Bubba C

    @Old Chap Raasclaat

    @King Billy

    @Ape™️

    For fucks sake do something! Neil, LCS, Baws and a couple of others are popping in erratically. Withers and Punkape are still banned, every cunt's fucked off. You'll miss this place if it dies. 

    I'm here with Pen, Gyps and ProfB. If you don't do something soon, it's going to turn into a discussion forum for cunt ointment and knitting patterns. The top 4 spots on the leaderboard add up to 51. Shite.

    Fuck my dog, what the Christing fuck has been happening here, EC? It seems like a few self-entitled Special Olympic gay shit-the-bed transvestites are vying to be top cunt of the Corner in our absence and it's becoming increasingly apparent that some aren't fit to lick the crust off India Fucking Willoughby's piss-soaked man-labia.

    I'm entrusting you with electrocuting them to Kingdom Fuck if any of the pastel-haired pronouned cunts turn this place into a plant based haven for homosexual vegans.

    Caroline Lucas is a cunt, although unsurprisingly, I'd still fuck her until her spleen splits. 

    • Like 3
  6. On 22/01/2018 at 22:10, Cuntybaws said:

    I might drop the Rev a quick email and see what sort of constructive chastisement he recommends.

    I'd almost certainly bruise her giblets a couple of times, Mr B

    ...before bludgeoning the cunt to death with either a handy length of scaffold, or perhaps a rugby sock full of unopened Crosse & Blackwell All Day Breakfast cans. They have a satisfying weight to them.

    Henry Heinz was a cunt.

     

     

     

    • Like 2
  7. On 23/01/2018 at 20:59, ratcum said:

    we should have a child together Jewdy. It's wonderful what they can do these days you know.

    Can I suggest the middle names of Volkenrath if it's a Mädchen and Kaltenbrunner if it's a Junge, ratters?

  8. 7 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

    I wonder if there’s one available that says, “I’m a violent and unstable sociopath who will follow you home and savagely murder you and your entire family if you wave that fucking card at me”.

    Protorty-Northrern-Rail_thimbnail.png

    I fucking hope so.

  9. She'll almost certainly need some major corrective surgery in the arse/cunt area, considering the amount of food that's gone through the misshapen-headed talent-vacuum over the years. I doubt it's even worth the effort flipping the sow over, as she'll have an arse like an abandoned Russian diamond mine, clearly something you'd be able to step thigh-deep into.

    I'd probably still fuck her if I were at a loose end though.

    Then drown her.

    • Like 1
  10. Of course, in the real world, this intellect-resistant nonce would be strung up by his foreskin and beaten into a barely recognisable mass of faeces and offal via the medium of a tyre lever.

    If ever there was a bloke needing Sutcliffed, it's this cunt.

    • Like 2
  11. 5 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

    While we're off on a tangent anyway, what are your thoughts on the fuckability potential of Jen Psaki? On the face of it she's everything I despise in a woman, and in a human being, and yet I somehow think she might be very, very dirty indeed.

    Hmm. A ginger...and therefore not what one could accurately describe as odourless. I imagine her bouquet to be something approaching between a putrescent Aldi Brie and a weeping yeast infection. Yeah, I'd fuck her though...most likely with something from the Hilti range.

    I think that commie cunt Kamala Harris is probably a bit dirty. I'd definitely bruise her fucking kidneys, before electrocuting her.

    Keith Relf was a cunt.

    • Like 2
  12. Even the one-trick-pony Cattrall cunt wearing a New York Dolls T-Shirt in the episode where they got caught smoking hash doesn't redeem this sloppy puddle of cancerous dog sick, although I always fancied spraying Charlotte's pert chest with a clackerbag's-worth of sock children (really just to watch the faux doe-eyed shock on her face as I squeezed out the last gobbet on her neck before using her hair as an impromptu cock towel), but to be honest, the now blonde ginger toe-thumbed shrimp-jockey cunt would get her balloon knot tanked with my Dutch glue if the Sky logo is anything to go by.
    I still wouldn't use the perpetually limp-cocked tough wank and veiny Passchendaele mustard gas victim-handed looking Parker cunt as a draught excluder. In fact, I'd hesitate to wipe my barely-cooked Aladdin's Special Donner-caked arse on the Lemmy-warted slapper's face.

    Mark Kermode is a cunt.
     

    • Like 6
  13. Call me old-fashioned and an over-romantic bastard, but however much my head tells me that this cunt needs throttled with an inordinate degree of prejudice, I still find her curiously attractive and would quite contentedly while away an afternoon pulling her hair, slapping her arse and flooding her cervix.

    • Like 3
  14. 2 hours ago, King Billy said:

    I’d willingly fork out for the TV licence if they had the professional integrity to spell it out like you Rev. Just on the off chance, do you have any thoughts worth sharing about Naga Munchetty?

    Indeed. I'd venture as far as imparting advice to the dreary leftie, pastel-friendly shithouse cunt to let her hair grow out over her comedy ears. The hoor looks like the Scottish Cup with those fucking Sky dishes either side of her intellect-resistant bastard head.

    Of course, my favoured and least complex strategy would be to just Sutcliffe the swarthy woke cunt with an ergonomically pleasing length of scaffolding. It goes without saying that I'd fuck her pre, or post bludgeoning really (a pulse isn't necessarily a prerequisite at Coitus Towers), in a concerted effort to demonstrate that decorum hasn't completely abandoned me. Chivalry is my most conspicuous weakness.

    • Like 4
  15. 29 minutes ago, nocti said:

    I'm sure Rev will stick to his usual moral code and point out, very politely, that whilst she is moderately attractive, he is otherwise entwined with another lady to whom he is completely devoted, and wouldn't dare step outside of the bounds of matrimony with this particular female.

    I think it fair to say that a discerning bastard like myself is driven by pragmatism, hence, I'd fuck the piss out of her until her paraurethral ducts resembled a pair of weather-beaten ghillie's waders.

    Then I'd have her summarily executed.

    • Like 4
  16. She's one of the few women I just couldn't bring myself to fuck. I imagine she employs the reverse cowboy manoeuvre, rather than having the Fat Ed bastard rolling on top of her and trying to part her sweaty, thrush-riddled gammon-hangers.

    In any case, I suspect she has a cunt like a Post Office van coming out of a car wash, so I'd be quite happy to watch the jug-eared sow drown.

    I want her dead.

     

    • Like 5
  17. I have only a very vague recollection of this cross-dressing bastard. He was the kind of third gendered shit-the-bed cunt who still lived in his mum's bedsit, waiting for her to cut the grey bits out of his fish fingers, while he furtively wiped his special scone mix off his fetid Captain Scarlet pyjamas with his favourite My Little Pony wank sock. He brought as much joy here as a milky-eyed pederast on a fingering crusade at a toddlers' soft play centre. 

    • Like 1
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