Wolfie

He's best forgotten.

When you read this, Jizz, use it as a prompt to delete your internet history. You wouldn't want your autistic son to happen upon his dad's bestiality image searches. Of course, that's unless you uploaded the photo directly from your personal archive.

Do you happen to live very near to Llandudno, by any chance?

Is your phone or keyboard stuck in the huge font menu, Ratty? You could try asking Arseholes how he attempts to rectify such technical things, as his device seems to be perpetually embedded in the fucking thick bastard mode.

I don't disagree with most of what you've said. My gripe is with the media and the way it generally points the finger with archetypal anti-Israeli bias. How something appears on the surface is often different from what it actually is. For example, Hamas and other Islamic terrorist groups have as little value for innocent Palestinian lives as the Israeli military. Hamas carefully uses its scarce resources to ensure civilians are in the firing line, resulting in further lives lost and more antisemitic hatred. Hamas has learnt to paint itself as the innocent victim via Western media. No one can blame Palestine for wanting to get back what is historically theirs, but as long as the US continues to fund the Israeli military, and shoot itself in the foot by making things even harder for organisations such as the PLO (which generally works within the boundaries of UN Security Council regulations – unlike Israel and Hamas), the war will never end. But yes, I agree the introduction of antisemitic laws in some US states is wholeheartedly erroneous, and will further ignite conflict.

This recent bout of Israeli-Palestine violence was coordinated by Hamas – as it generally is. The Palestinian civilians killed were its utilitarian sheep, which always ends with some lefty journalist pointing the finger at Israeli oppression, usually demonstrated with photos of a dead baby or some bearded martyr being carried on a coffin by Jihadi fanatics swathed in a blood-stained Palestine flag. We seldom see the tens of dozens of Israelis murdered by ruthless Hamas suicide bombers in restaurants in Jerusalem or Tel Aviv. Israel has every right to defend itself. The Israeli military continually warns Palestine with leaflets and loudspeakers not to go near its border fences and these warnings are ignored time and again. Quite frankly, the Israeli government does a better job of protecting its people from extremist Islamic terrorists than our pussy government does. There, I've said it.

I nominate Miss South Carolina to make all future decisions on antisemitism laws.

Do you do standup, 'eavens?

While yours is undoubtedly fragranced with the mackerel minge of a neck-tattooed, ageing Scouse slag whose Primark G-strings disappeared up her humongous crack months ago.

I'm glad my comment didn't affect you in any way, Pansy baby, which is why you didn't bother responding to it – such is your 'laid back' demeanour. If I may ask, have you managed to uniquely access software on this site? It's just that you generally demonstrate the grammar skills of a remedial eight year-old from a council estate, yet each of your comments is carefully suffixed with a perfectly constructed 'Panzerknacker', upper case included. This suggests you either use some kind of automated pasting software, or carefully type your name out with each post. Which is it?

Whose arse do you prefer the taste of: France or Germany?

Thanks, Thomas Markle.

I trust your impression of Shirley Valentine's mother is proving typically effortless.

In spite of Pen's obvious shortcomings, just imagine the benefit of sitting down for a meal with the old cock-wrestler: flies would effortlessly avoid you and your food, lured instead by the scent of dehydrated smeg on her top-lip's whiskers and irresistible combination of charity shops and week-old skidmarks on her clothing.

The Mecca of all shit fucking noms, heralding yet another waste of my lifetime from the site's leading hermaphrodite.

Jesus wept. Not only do you undoubtedly have your fish & chips served in Daily Mail newspaper, I suspect you wipe your arse with it once your ageing sphincter muscle enforces its daily, uncontrollable teenage tantrum upon you. At least part of you remains forever young.

I had begun to feel the same about Corbyn's seemingly genuine socialism: the sensible, beardy bloke in a cardigan who wanted to help those most in need. This was until he pulled his pitiful stunt on the train, which has since led to a downward spiral into a chasm of utter, insincere shitcuntery. He is a politician, after all.

The one with her clothes off is more likely to be Roops.

Starbucks must have headhunted Albert from McDonald's to fulfil its lawful allowance for employees with learning difficulties.

Presumably this is indirectly aimed at our favourite transgendered old bag, Judge, otherwise I interpret it as fighting talk.

On the plus side you are rich in other respects, chiefly the unique differentiation in size between your great big mouth and tiny little brain. Surely such a blessing could yield extra income from well-funded anthropological institutions who specialise in the study of orang-utans.

At least the Queen won't be the oldest person in attendance.

I'm sure your carer can offer her much advice.

I bet she doesn't. I can imagine you peeling back one of your incontinence nappies from her bumcheeks as she delivers a Cleveland steamer onto your freckly, saggy-titted old man's chest. Fuck off.

Manhandling 'Cuddly', your koala bear? Surely you're getting this confused with the time he tried to finger you behind the bike sheds.