Wolfie

While Sally James verified my heterosexuality as a young lad, the missing link here has to be the utterly delectable Ms. Erin Grey, whose tight spandex uniforms were every bit as hot as any leather-clad female back in the day. It's no coincidence Twiki's head resembled something from Roops' bedside drawer.

Out of, er... likes. I wonder whether @Ape™️ thinks more highly of your film set portrayal? Stick to cheap cider and fixing old boilers, Drew. Idiot.

This is arguably the finest analysis we've seen from you to date. More of the same please.

I went into a right political rant earlier Killer, you're quite correct. But you're from the predominantly vast white northeast, while the Londonised southeast I hail from has in parts become virtually unrecognisable. The bottle of Barolo I polished off earlier, together with the fact the area I grew up in is now 30% Asian, somewhat justifies my tirade. But unlike ELC's horseshit it does actually make sense. What other few places on the internet can I spout my heartfelt bollocks without being accused of racism nowadays?

...and Amanda de Cadenet, sitting on your face.

One of my original intentions was to get right under your scaly skin... and the last five of your six comments have been aimed at me. A job well done! Let's hope the cancer holds off for a little while longer, so I have time to further annoy you.

Frank Bruno in a bikini. What a fucking moose.

It's all very well holding fire on asylum seeker benefits until they have x-amount of employment history, but rather like the vast (vast) majority of people in the UK I would much rather offer a job to a native Briton who has/whose family has paid into our system for decades (even if someone has left their home country as a political refugee). These people have more of a right to claim benefits for obvious reasons. And this brings me to the next point: the asylum seekers themselves. This is the very issue which needs to be seriously vetted. Single men with beards, for example, don't bring with them a positive vibe. Suffice to say, looking at some of the hirsute terrorists-in-waiting who've washed up on Kentish beaches in the past decade don't look like asylum seekers to me, RK. Many carry problems from the countries they are escaping from, together with a culture which adopts acid-throwing, machetes and zombie knives – and extreme sexism and homophobia. Men with kids or families, or men with a loving female in tow, bring with them a totally different prospect. For me, this is the 'border force' area which needs the most investment and scrutiny. Make the entrance requirements more tough. I know views on Rwanda are divided, but who on Earth would wish to enter the UK illegally with the prospect of being deported to a steaming Third World cunthole in the middle of Africa? I think it could – and should – work as a deterrent for those wishing to bring religious ideals and trouble to the UK. The problem currently lies with our self-serving, short-termist and corrupt politicians who take little or no action. Just because the UK took more than its fair share of immigrants under EU Parliamentary legislation doesn't mean we need to keep accepting anymore now that Brexit is here. We can't bankroll anyone who just wants to stay here rent-free.

Did you end up with hearing aids?

And in the real world? People are afraid to speak up these days Eric, which is precisely why I love this shithole so much... one of the last online bastions of free speech. I have no problem saying fucking Blair hit the final nail in the coffin for this country, inviting mass immigration without asking the British people whether it was OK after they voted the cunt to power. Some democracy. His 'New Labour' government threw open Britain's borders to mass immigration to socially engineer a truly multicultural society, with short-term success, boosting the economy at the time and giving the BBC a free reign to bully and brand free-speakers as racists as it ruled the airways with an iron fist. This has lead to many of the long-term problems we see now. But it's not just the UK. It's all over Europe – including Sweden, Germany and Ireland. It's a disaster. Imo, there isn’t really much difference between mass immigration and invasion by force. Both ultimately overwhelm the host culture. This was always going to be a recipe for reaction on the part of those threatened by the cultural tsunami, which manipulative lefty shithouses such as the BBC perpetually attempt to cover up – yet they still attempt to enforce us to pay their outrageous fucking salaries! Behind every great man is a great woman, and of course Cherie can take credit for much of her hubby's 'success', while remaining one of few Caucasian women more ugly than 99% of the fuckpigs evolving from Cyprus.

One of the songs of my youth... in Larnaca. What cherished memories.

In the days when I was a confident swimmer, before almost being eaten by a Great white in South Africa changed my perception of the oceans, I crewed around the Med on a 63ft yacht, sailing from Port Said in Egypt to the Amalfi Coast in Italy, spending around six months living in Larnaca harbour. I was 20 back then, and when I wasn't cleaning the deck or cooking, I shagged my way across much of the city with a belly full of beer and some illegal drugs. And I needed both of these in abundance to find Cypriot women remotely attractive, as they remain to this day the most brutally ugly, short, stumpy, hairy pigs I have ever encountered throughout my life – Nicosia being a shining example. With your dark, Romany features I'm sure you'll fit right in, instead of having to tolerate your arse being pinched like most white European females I was with at the time. Keep us posted.

I don't dislike you ELC, not really. If truth be known, I agree with much of what you say, and while others may not, someone with such a political bias isn't such a bad addition to the site. It's the manner with which you articulate yourself and your humourless one-sided views that get on my tits. But I would like to offer you a chance. So let's (briefly) proceed from our discussion from a few weeks ago, when you threw your toys out of the pram when I asked you a simple question. Remember, I'm white, British, and I generally loathe boatloads of Quran believers rocking up on our shores. I also empathise with someone like yourself who's a poorly educated, working-class Londoner (much like Frank), who's watched in horror as the capital of his country has been overrun by foreigners not democratically voted or accepted into society by the native demographic at large. Thus, approximately 7% of the UK population is Asian, of which about 3.7m are Muslim. With 67m people on this little string of islands, that's quite a lot of mosque-dwelling Mohammad worshippers, Bill Stickers among them, who are integrated into our society. To compare, take the wave of Irish immigrants shortly after WW1, many of whom were happy to make their lives here, the vast majority respecting our laws and way of life, generally wanting to get along. Not so with wave upon wave of more recent immigrants from the Middle East et al., many wishing to impose their uncompromising religious beliefs upon us, not respecting our heritage, ways of life and so on. (Worth noting here it's a minority which causes trouble.) 3,700,000 is a lot of people to absorb into society, and "throwing them all out" would be both unfair and impossible. What is your suggestion?

Did you ever dine there with George Michael?

'Happy English Missionary Day', lol.

You are one fucking vile, manipulative, nasty piece of excrement @Penny Farthing. If someone who wishes cruelty unto dogs wasn't enough, you've really excelled yourself this evening. It's not hard to see why you're disliked so intensely by so many. I'd like to see what @Admin has to say about your leaderboard manipulation.

If you're going to say something which hurts, then say something which hurts. This is like beng shot with a fucking water pistol during a heatwave. Even you are better than this. Come on – hit me with another alpaca quip, you half-faggot.

What the flying fuck is this, ELC? Please tell me this isn't your first attempt at humour, because if it is, suggesting an early retirement would be as kind as putting an animal to sleep. Your boring, unimaginative, repetitive political bollocks can't save you now.

Yep, I'm as thick as a London brick, just like 99% of the puntership in your eyes, because you've got nothing else in your arsenal to say. Show a bit of originality, you nouveau riche taxi business-inheriting shithouse. If you're going to trade picking lice with me at the top, you could at least demonstrate proof upon which your embarrassing 'I trumped you' wanker antics are based. And if you can't, I suggest you again read our little exchange from earlier. Bland, samey, shit-stirring old queen.

It pleases me greatly to see someone who has a mutual hatred of you come leaping to your defence, such is the crystal clear cunting I handed you this morning. Lol. Bon après-midi, le serpent masturbateur extraordinaire. As a Frankophile hailing from the chavvy part of Kent, may I ask who you were rooting for during last night's classic 'Le Crunch', as all six stones of you lay hospitalised after your latest prostate indexing?

You've been absolutely fucking shit since the day I joined in 2016; claiming I 'missed' a challenge which doesn't exist really is the catalyst for you to write your short obituary, after which you can join Ming in stinking up your one-bed flat in Barnet. Useless wanker.

Is this all you've got to challenge me, a barrel-scraping alpaca pun, which echoes something Pen would conjure up? Actually, I'm not surprised. You useless piece of uncreative shit. Stand down before I humiliate you.

What a shame, especially as I was looking forward to meeting you, your hubby, and your lil' pooch. Unlike you, my hospitality door will always remain open. So far as your embarrassing like-post ratio goes, since my tenure here I have seen nothing from you which impresses me. If I'm honest, I don't even think there's a sleeping giant waiting to be awoken. If you really want to be the best on here, PM me for the blueprint and I'll be more than happy to give you a few pointers.

While I'm not entirely convinced 'half the world' is banging on about the Royals, I do agree the truth will out. Do you think Wills might turn to his father for some valued extramarital advice?

In spite of your relative decline and appalling like-post correlation, you've still got your instincts. I'm impressed. How about a nom, or haven't you got one in you any more? I'm coming to London in April to hook up with an old university pal. Fancy meeting for an eye-baller? You can laugh at my shoes, and I can laugh at the size of your arms.