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Last Cunt Standing

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About Last Cunt Standing

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    Epic Cunt

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    Western ‘Straya

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  1. I suspect Black Hawk Down means not a US boot will set foot in the place, but the Don might want to carpet bomb Mogadishu soon regardless of the election result. It’s a shithole country, after all.
  2. Astonished both that this made the news Down Under, and that the syphillitic old cunt hadn’t curled his toes years ago. There are many unanswered questions of course, principally whether being rebuffed by Selina Scott and Ann Ford eventually led to him seeking dubious thrills in Soho fleshpots. The next edition of Private Eye will be fun. Still, least he was into adults unlike most of his contemporaries. Silly old sod.
  3. It’s more like “my grandad taught a war so I can decide whether I want to sit on this chair or not, not be lectured to about how to sit by a bunch of wops, krauts and frogs, thank you very much. It’s my divine right as an Englishman to decide which bit of my arse makes contact with the seat, and for how long, and how many legs I might use, and I’ll fight any many who tries to force me into .....hey, we’re did every body go?”
  4. Ever been keen on HRT yourself Gyps? You must have had a ringside seat for the greatest hits of Ortho-Gynest over the years....tempted?
  5. It’s the effect on his Hb I am most interested in, given he’s already let slip he needs regular venesections. See how manly he feels when the dense hemiplegia kicks in.
  6. Indeed. I once got some very funny looks at a meeting when I opined that the trouble with modern Britain was that nobody just died anymore, and what we needed was another major war or great plague to rebalance the ecosystem. Whoops.
  7. Bloke yesterday at the cafe was going on and on about how Testogel had saved him from suicide, made him feel 25 again, and was getting him rock hard daily so he can pump his latest dead-eyed Thai girlfriend. Stirring my coffee, and trying not be distracted by the idea of taking out his eyeballs with my teaspoon, I wondered to myself why so many men now feel the need for hormones, just like the dried up old birds who they used to be married to. It is of course part of the modern obsession with youth and virility, and the idea that if you aren’t still shagging away daily until you’re ninety then
  8. Sad this morning to read of the death of the great James Randi, who as a man who had a great nose for bullshit, would have loved the sentiment behind The Corner. He took down many film flam artists and lying snakes in his life, perhaps the highlights being his evisceration of evangelist Peter Popoff and his exposure of Uri Geller. No one ever got his fabled million dollars, either. And yes he turned out gay, which will no doubt upset many of you, but I for one salute his passing. Bravo on a life well lived, Randi. https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/obituaries/james-randi-magician-a
  9. So it’s taken just shy of three years for the lantern-jawed queen of lunchtime telly to do a complete 180 on the merits of being from Ooop North. It seems now it’s a good thing she is an oppressed minority. Doesn’t stop her show being fucking panned though. Good. I hope she’s shown the door by Christmas, the talentless fish knuckle. Back to Radio Cleveland for you, love. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8855057/Steph-McGovern-38-assumed-hard-life-Northern-accent.html
  10. The Sun have gone fucking soft, and they are a long way from “Freddie Starr Ate My Hamster”. This story, for example would clearly have been better headlined “Schofield Sucks on a Fag”, or some derivation of such, and it would have paid off in a months’ worth of clickbait. Wimps. https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/12955507/phillip-schofield-smoking-cigarette-night-out/
  11. Rehan always did have an eye for the Chicks. Sadly, it was his Japs’. Someone should explain to him the festering sores on his winkle are not Chickenpox, perhaps while extracting a kidney with a pointy toothbrush.
  12. This creature’s decision to spread her legs for Boris was in no way related to the £100k or so of London Taxpayer funds. Even by Mayfair standards that’s steep for a hooker. Can you imagine the two of them doing the beast with two backs? What a fucking country.
  13. Can you still buy Smash, the powdered mashed potato, in the UK?
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