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Last Cunt Standing

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About Last Cunt Standing

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    Epic Cunt

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    Western Down Under

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  1. Hey the WACA is lovely but I’d be surprised if anyone would be so enamoured they wouldn’t want to leave. I fear I may have misunderstood.
  2. Now Test matches have been moved to the Optus, the WACA is apparently to be remodelled as a “boutique stadium”. No, I have no fucking idea what that means either. I’m holding out for a fifth test vs India this summer, but at present Perth is the forgotten Ginger stepchild (insert Jonny Bairstow reference) of Australian Cricket.
  3. Is this purely ironic trawling of the gutter press then my Lupine friend, or am I to make some wildly hypocritical assertions about how suspect your reading habits are? I can’t keep up.
  4. You’ll have a job, Francis. Western Australia is locked down tighter than Anne Frank. No one gets in or out without a letter from Santa. However, when the borders open, I imagine you’d like the Margaret River area.
  5. Gosh I do hope so Bill, I have a few GSK shares in the bottom drawer myself. I fancy a JetSki.
  6. I have nothing to add to this discussion, other than noting half my street are expat Brits, and to a man they all wish they’d come out earlier. Many are/were high earning professionals paying lots of tax. Britain is in a real pickle, sadly.
  7. I have this weird sense of déjà vu at the mention of her name. Has it really been just 3 months?
  8. What, again? That’s like saying hello down here Eric. Fuck is virtually punctuation and “shit” is perfectly acceptable on breakfast TV. In fact I’m struggling to think of an epithet that would shock. “Spacker” took a bit of explaining, and fuck knows what they’d make of Flid.
  9. The consensus here in the Tides Cafe this morning is that Diafold is a load of cheap junk for charlatan bastards. One of the more expert voters in the group is something of an amateur butcher with his own chainmail apron. Make of that what you will.
  10. Only a fool wouldn’t know a few phrases in Cantonese just in case the PLA take Fremantle. I can order a Pink Gin and can sing the first verse of The Internationale. I’ll get by. How’s Nigel’s Lorry Park coming on? Has it been decided whether the wall will run through Canterbury yet? If they plough up the Cricket ground for an escargot farm then I think a stiff letter to The Daily Telegraph is in order. And what’s this about satellites? Galileo is the future again, is it? Still, Brexit is Brexit. People have spoken. Yadda Yadda. Not my problem. Surf’s up.
  11. She’s been kicked out of Middlesbrough market many a time for touching the produce. Mr Abdul is forever telling her if she wants to squeeze melons or finger clams, she should bloody well stay at home. I still think she tried very hard to get Alex Jones to come all over Sandi Toksvig. Apologies, over all.
  12. Crushed. I so wanted my star on Cunt Boulevard, too. Maybe next to Judge or Brony Keith. Ah well.
  13. Point taken. I’d forgotten how high culture The Corner is these days. There is no room for anyone using the former England Darts Captain as an avatar, for example.
  14. You gotta laugh, haven’t you? https://www.express.co.uk/showbiz/tv-radio/1339813/Steph-McGovern-packed-lunch-zero-viewing-figures-Channel-4-video
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