Last Cunt Standing

14 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

I’ll be in Rome, Florence, Milan, Lake Como then over to Venice before heading home after a couple of nights in Geneva. Admittedly, not as stimulating as getting covered in dust and shite whilst fighting off mosquitos and killer snakes and spiders…but, whoever in Europe can rival the limitless stimulation that you have down there on that floating cow-pat littered with neantherthals tamed by a criminal underclass?

Do fuck off…you pretentious failed Brit.

 

Sounds like you’ll have a great time. All of those places I like. I recommend a lovely spot by the lake at Montreaux for a long coffee and a bit of contemplation. I hope you enjoy it. 

Your views on Australia are, naturally, bollocks. Of course the one place you won’t find boatloads of Savages, Neanderthals or Criminals is Northern Italy you fucking cretin. Do you read the papers?

So yeah, Australia. Awful place. You’d hate it. Don’t come. 

Failed Brit indeed. Wanker. 

9 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

Casting around for somewhere relevant to park a topical comment about Aborigines, I happened upon this thread from 2017, long before our esteemed colleague @Last Cunt Standing headed off for pastures flooded and poisonous. It's also interesting to note that the OP now thinks Canada would be a nice place to live.

9 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

When Christ fucked off, 2000+ years ago, he told the Abbos to ‘do nothing until I get back.’ The cunts took it literally. I can’t for the life of me comprehend why a marginally intelligent, medically trained British graduate would regularly fuck one.

Ah chaps, how nice of you to think of me. Nice you’re taking an interest in Indigenous cultures. I’ll no doubt run into a few for my impending long Anzac weekend when I’m driving down to Esperance to fish off Lucky Bay. I’ll be back next week for a bit of snooker maybe. There’s a nice place run by Thais up the road where you can get a massage while you watch a frame or two and mull the old easy pink/tight brown joke. 

You definitely shouldn’t come here. Awful, awful place. Besides, we’re full. Bloody immigrants causing a housing crisis. Or so my neighbours young niece was saying this morning when she was telling me about her OnlyFans account. Seems there’s money in it. Half the world seems into it. 

Have a great weekend, fellas. 

3 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

How many days has it been now, Doc?

121. 

On 20/04/2024 at 20:44, Frank said:

Welcome to Frank's ultimate guide to this year's World Snooker Championship! As the prestigious tournament unfolds in Sheffield, this thread will serve as your comprehensive guide, delving into every match from start to finish. Whether you're a seasoned snooker aficionado, a newcomer to the sport, or a total dullard, join me as I dive into all the drama and excitement over the next seventeen days.

 

2 hours ago, Wolfie said:

Your second nom in almost seven years... and we're presented with THIS? What a surprise it's attracted zero likes (until Anaconda Kong reads my comment, that is).

Ffs Frank. It's a bit like waiting in an understaffed pub for Sunday lunch, and when it finally arrives, the plate is missing the roast beef. I'm almost embarrassed for you. Almost.

Frank, you have achieved a rare feat. You’ve made me agree with @Wolfie.

With the ongoing collapse of Fiat currency, the capture of the House of Windsor by a death Cult, and the coming war in the Holy Land, I’m taking this very rare agreement as the Fourth Horse of The Apocalypse and have started packing my belongings into the Ute to set off to the middle of nowhere tomorrow. 

I’d say it was nice knowing you, but by all accounts you’re a bit of a Cunt. So enjoy the snooker. If you really do live with 30 miles of SW1, it might well be your last.

Don’t Look Up. 

10 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Apart from a triumvirate of twats, Jenny Bond, Nicholas Witchell and you, no cunt here gives a flying fuck about this. You obsessed, big hairy dog’s cock. Fuck off.

Just keep paying those taxes then. William is so terribly grateful for the crushed silk toilet roll you’re funding for his tattered arsehole.

Cuck. 

8 hours ago, Frank said:

For someone who values integrity as much as I do, what on earth is going on in your tiny mind? Your opinion has always been my steadfast guide. 

Francis, we’ve never crossed swords on The Corner and I have no wish to start. I’ll ignore your “tiny mind” swing, and simply say that I don’t believe the official version of “the illness”, believe there is a much darker explanation, and have very good reason to think so. The photos are a bit of a clue. But, feel free to get back to mincing about the overpriced Gentleman’s Outfitters you inhabit, the truth will be along momentarily. Keep watching. 

2 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

If Meghan Markle gets cancer I'm going to wank my bollocks off.

I’d say she’s got one. A six-foot red-headed skin tumour who she’ll likely have cut out and binned at some point. 

Don’t be distracted from the main event though. Something very bleak is afoot in Windsor. 

On 16/04/2024 at 03:35, Wolfie said:

742,891,457,674 days since we began to suffer your running commentary from 9,000 miles away about a subject very few give a flying fuck about.

We've been getting on a little better recently Doc, and I welcome this, but please give the Nicholas Witchell wankfest a break.

All due respect, so none, fuck off. I’ll post what I like thanks. Christ knows any semblance of quality control or self-censorship seems to be a thing of the past round here these days, so if on my infrequent visits I feel like recording an ongoing lie being peddled on the public, I will. I’m surprised by your indifference to be honest, the idea that the heir to the throne might be permitting some elaborate deception to play out while he puts his feet up between his 2 hours of public work per week should be lighting a fire in your taxpaying belly. I can only presume you and those like you are so anaesthetised by the Daily Mail that your critical thinking skills are duller than a February day in Coventry. 

Take a close look at the pictures. Is the woman passenger in the Audi, the woman at the Windsor Farmers Market, and the woman on the garden bench supposed to be the same person?

Not only are they lying to you, they’re laughing about it, too.

9 hours ago, King Billy said:

She’s obviously just fine Doc.

Obviously, Bill. Maybe we can pencil in one of the doubles for Royal Ascot?

110 days now since the Princess of Wales was incontrovertibly seen in public. 

Those trips to the Windsor Farm Shop seem to have stopped then?

In case you had any doubt, they’re laughing at you.

27 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

This is now getting a bit weird, Doc.

Yeah? It might get a bit weirder yet. Keep watching. 

104 days today since the Princess of Wales was incontrovertibly seen in public. 

It’s an awfully long time, is it not?

22 hours ago, Decimus said:

Reptyle?

And where the fuck have you been? Come waltzing back in here, off your tits on Maple Syrup I shouldn’t wonder. Look around you, can’t you see there’s work to be done round here? Honestly, some people….

On 29/03/2024 at 04:21, Eric Cuntman said:

She said that she’s post surgery and commencing chemo. I think the lack of jewellery might mean she’s got 3 blue dots tattooed on her belly and a 6 week ticket for radiology as well. 

Believe that Eric, and I’ve got a Bridge in Baltimore to sell you. 

96 days, if you’re keeping score.

On 29/03/2024 at 03:56, King Billy said:

I’m sure you’re right Doc, and I’m guessing you like me are eagerly awaiting her getting back to health, and straight  back into the crippling work schedule we all know and love her and the rest of the Royal lizards for.

As a side note Doc, I know you’re a very busy man and you’ve told me you haven’t got time to check out a couple of your Aussie senators I mentioned to you a while back, but who I believe anyone with an open and inquisitive mind would find even a little time to listen to. But ‘hey ho’ what would I know?

Bill, I’m talking to you now from the mean streets of Kalgoorlie, a fly-blown dusty hole 650km east of Perth, famous for a giant hole in the ground and Australia’s oldest knocking shop. My mates and I spent Good Friday biking over here, and took over a pub for the evening. Much talk of the Canberra Government’s new Digital ID laws which I am sure will pull your chain when you hear of it. We spilled out into the street to find wild packs of Indigenous kids engaged in what I can only presume was a Mad Max themed Easter Egg Hunt, though maybe smashing the windows in the ANZ was a bit over-enthusiastic.

Returning to my hotel, I see footage of Queen Sidepiece doling out 75p in purses to old dementia patients, Putin moving his Navy into the Red Sea, and I thank Christ I’m in the middle of nowhere until May. Off for Egg and Bacon now before today’s leg of our trip. 

Oh, and in case I forget….Jeffrey Donaldson. One of yours, no?

12 hours ago, King Billy said:

If only we in the U.K. could be blessed with a kind, caring and benevolent ruling establishment (perhaps along the lines of the Australian criminal cabal) who responded to the terrifying ‘Covid 19 plandemic’ (fatality rate 0.01%, less than most annual winter flu outbreaks), locked the country down longer and  harder than almost every other country on Earth, imposing curfews, banning freedom of association, freedom to protest , the right to earn a living to provide for your family, banning interstate travel within the country (even in the case of life threatening medical emergencies), and exactly like almost every other of the so called ‘Western democracies’ censoring the speech ie critical  views of anyone who dared to question the narrative (sorry ‘science’) which they had served up for you all to consume.

Here in the U.K. our establishment behaved in a very similar (if only slightly less authoritarian) manner, so I don’t reckon any of them deserve any credit tbh.

Fuck off.

“The Establishment” is not confined to any Nation, Bill. Australia has its elite too. They have lied, cheated, and stolen for decades. Change is coming. The people will not be constrained much longer.

incidentally, 92 days now since Katie made a public appearance. This weekend is the fabled Easter deadline. Ten of my Aussie Dollars says we don’t see her doing any Royal “work” this year.

3 hours ago, Jake The Muss said:

Part of being British for many people (not me) is having a fucking king or queen. 

Jesus Christ man, get off your knees. Surely the one thing we’ve all learnt once again from this debacle is that the establishment despise you and treat you with utter contempt.

It’s long past time you returned fire.

4 hours ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Back on topic, The Princess of Wales has had treatment for Cancer... @Last Cunt Standing you were clearly onto something, must be your medical background. 

Will she outlive the King?

Drip, drip, drip. 

This is only the beginning. 

5 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

Quite right, Darren. Anyway, put your apron back on and get me a coffee, white no sugar.

Darren? Are you on fucking glue?

14 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

To be honest, you’re going to have more fun with the Welsh tart. No she’s not as beautiful, she’s a bit chubby with a filthy cackle. But every truly heterosexual bloke knows exactly what I mean. 
 Perfect isn’t necessarily sexy.

 I still wouldn’t kick Liz out of bed for eating crisps though.

I sort of agree. There’s a salt-of-the-earth quality to Charlotte that probably gives her the edge. I imagine she’d do a great full English, after she’s given you the full Welsh. And the Greek. 

On 21/03/2024 at 03:51, Eric Cuntman said:

What sort of van driver would you be? 
Samedi delivery?

Sometimes the Corner is a Baron wilderness, then you happen upon this oasis of mirth. Bravo, EC.

On 19/03/2024 at 03:19, Eric Cuntman said:

I’d fuck her in front of her kid.

Eric, you need a little bromide in your tea. Last week Charlotte Church, this week Liz Hurley. Just out of interest, if you had to choose, who gets first go?

Russian Intelligence are reportedly of the belief that 2000 French Troops will be in Ukraine before the Summer. A few weeks of instructing the Ukrainians in their fine traditions and Ivan should be in Warsaw by September. 

Macron’s played a blinder here.

2 hours ago, Mrs Roops said:

Well Karen

Careful there Dear Leader, resorting to brutish sexism when challenged might be considered passé. 

3 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

I fingered that Jenny Bond, mid-80’s. Spotless but a tad-musty, she left me with  a sort of yeasty yellow nail debris, if you get me, Doc? Post-coital, we chatted…pillow-talk if you will. Even she didnt bang on about the Royals like you do you fucking pound-shop Nicholas fucking Witchell cunt.

I’m warming to the notion you’re female after all DC, given your increasing fondness for the unsolicited whinge. Half the world’s banging on at length about the Royals right now, if you’re blissfully unaware of that on Plague Island, you might very well wonder why.