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  1. Having an outbreak of Measles here at the moment because inner city fucking idiots done vaccinate their kids. Fucking polio courting new age probably fucking hipster idiots. Fuck off back to the 1920's you ill informed cunts, and stop putting the rest of us at risk.
  2. If you're old, infirm or fucked up in a way that impedes your ability to ride a bike properly then these things are a great idea. If you're not then you're fucking lazy and a proper cunt. Fat useless tubs of lard can now splash out several grand on the latest carbon road machines or full on downhill mountain bikes so they can wobble around the countryside in their super stretched Lycra. I wish they'd all go back to playing golf.
  3. So, this numb Aussie cunt, Rish Raniga, went into a McDonalds in Sydney and ordered a veggie burger. He was miffed to find it only contained a slice of cheese and a gherkin. WTF did he expect? If you go into McDonalds, you get animal entrails served in shite, they're world renowned for it, they've been making a profit at it for years. If you want 'Veggie', go to a fuckin' supermarket and buy a carrot, don't just shove it up your arse, and don't expect an organisation responsible for the slaughter of tens of millions of wildlife to accommodate your girly, culinary, peccadillos. Jeffrey Dahmer was a cunt.
  4. Hobby of predominantly northern cunts who take great delight in spending time on their roofs in a cage full of bird shit, probably naked with a semi. The navigational skills of birds is an amazing thing. Why not appreciate this by reading a book on wild birds and marvelling at some of the epics of migration or, heaven forbid, going into the countryside an observing this first hand. Some of these cunts have also been caught killing and poisoning sparrow hawks and peregrines that dare to think about killing their inbreed sky rats.
  5. Being a relative newcomer to the site, I don't want to offend anybody too much - however there's one thing that makes my shit itch more than anything, even more than the French, and that's the multi-quote cunt. Where do these silly twats come from? It's like they are doing their utmost to drag this site down with a sensory overload of repetitively mindless bilge. Nothing original I'm hasten to add, just taking other cunts comments and becoming a fucking humour vacuum by adding them all together with pointless little addendums and boring the life force out of people. If this nom pertains to you, please feel free to end it all, so that those with an IQ above that of a broken trowel can get on with our day. Thank you kindly
  6. Guest

    Mr

    John Higgins, Nichola Sturgeon, Wayne Rooney
  7. So I posted a comment on a Guardian music blog, and almost immediately it gets pulled. Why? Because I used the word 'cunt' in reference to egotistical pop star Robbie Williams. I mean, what other word would have been appropriate to describe that talentless, fat cunt from the ice-cream munching boy band Take That? And while I'm at it, WTF happened to free speech, the Guardian, fine upholders of civil liberties and people's rights to express themselves as they see fit, unless it goes against their leftie, politically correct doctrine. Also, WTF is some cunt doing moderating a blog on New Years Day, has the sad Billy no mates cunt got nothing better to do?
  8. Guest

    idiot cunts in the news

    it never ceases to amaze me the type of fuckwits that want their 'news' story in the papers which ultimately demonstrates how much of a fucking moron they are. The latest example being a Norwich couple who forgot to pack the wheelchair in the car but upon returning to collect it 'the following day' found it completely destroyed. FFS you stupid fucking cunts, your fucking stupidity doesn't need publicising.
  9. Sittin outside having my morning coffee and ciggy looking at the grey squirrels plundering the bird feeder. .seems they are an invasive species not native to these islands dirty little theiving reffo cunts. ..comin over here taking all the birds and the seeds. ..I'd take up arms agin them only I'm a terrible shot and abhore bloodshed. .that only leaves strangulation and as I'm on disability I cant sneak up on them like one of. ..them Panzerknacker
  10. Have a small business moonlighting as a personal trainer so I bought a small van to transport my equipment anyhoo i decided to service it and found every bolt and nut was either rung or tightened with a power bar or something . even my formidable guns couldn't get a turn on them...most annoying Panzerknacker
  11. Guest

    Edinburgh Cunting Festival

    Imagine that for absolutely no reason everybody decides that for one month of the year they will kick your front door down and ransack your house for a month. Do a little digging and it turns out that your house has, arbitrarily, been the 'festival' house since the early 1950s, though you cannot think of a good reason why. You wake up one morning and there is an angry Japanese woman in your kitchen shouting "WHICH WAY CASTLE?" as you try and make your breakfast. You cannot get dressed without some failed stage-school Daddy's Money cunt trying to hand you a flyer. You go into the bathroom and there is a loud English twat in there bellowing about his one-man re-imagining of The Taming of the Shrew, as seen through the eyes of legendary castrated code-breaker Alan Turin, himself re-cast as a transgender man in a North Korean concentration camp. Naturally his play is being performed in your shower, that you have to share with an unwashed Spanish tourist with a raging head cold because he is the only other sap that got coaxed into attending this bollocks. Your house quickly fills up with dreadful people who eat all your food, stub dreadful cigarettes out on all the furniture, clog the toilet with their dreadful meaty English shits and break all the crockery with their dreadful English clumsiness. A hoard of passive-aggressive, ignorant fucks that don't know how to read a map or figure out how any of the public transport works, and who think that bus drivers double up as tourist information officers. When these cunts finally leave they ram a wad of greasy tenners into your front pocket with a final bellow of 'same time next year old chap?'. As you mull this over you quickly realise that the wad of tenners won't cover the cost of the cleanup, and that most of the money went to some other cunts anyway who won't offer any help. The Edinburgh festival is shite. Don't bother coming here, just take it from me. The Fringe is worse. Every cunt who did drama at school, and who is now resigned to an utterly pointless middle-management office job, seems to take this month as the time to cut loose and imagine that they are some luvvie cunt. For 11 months of the year you adhere to the strict office dress-code, but this is the one change you get to dig out the pastel-shade sweaters, chinos and loafers. Time to imagine that they are still a thespian or tortured artist at heart, even if they work in accounts. At one point back in the wilds of the [80s it was possible to see a rising comedian in the Fringe, playing a grubby church hall somewhere for 50p a ticket. Now the Fringe is exclusively the preserve of £10 tickets to see any cunt even half decent, in a venue sponsored by a multi-national drinks company. The Fringe was meant to be the grimier, grittier underside of the festival, but now it is a bigger corporate stitch-up than the real Festival; hundreds of dreadful comedians with still clamouring to 'make it' at the already saturated Fringe. There is the mincing upper-middle class English one of dubious sexual orientation that uses their general limp-wristed uselessness as a source of self-effacing humour. There is the rough Northern-English one who over-shares their personal information and issues, or the rough cockney-geezer one that talks about his Dad giving him a stolen bike at Christmas. There is the token minority women who gets one joke in per appearance on Mock The Week and insists on making jokes about head scarves to a sea of uncomfortable giggles. There is the Nineties-era dinosaur recycling Nineties-era jokes in a conference center somewhere on the edge of town (Stewart Lee, Richard Herring, David Baddiel or one of those other ancient unfunny cunts). Then there is all the nerdy cunts recording podcasts where they discuss facts to boring to make it into an episode of QI, thicko 'dreamy' girls who sing songs about genital herpes while playing the ukulele, foreign cunts with a single rat-tail dreadlock playing in 'Balkan' bands or all the other cunts generally stinking the place up with their mundane, third-rate bollocks. The worst bit is that when I travel abroad, or even elsewhere in the UK, I have to contend with Festival cunts telling me how much they love my city, even though they only know the inside of a dozen pubs and venues. They totally get Edinburgh, because they paid £25 to see some second-tier Live at the Apollo cunt in the Fosters Magic Comedy Tent at the Pleasance, paid £20 for two Gin and Tonic and then locked themselves out of the shitty student flat they paid £300 to stay four days in. For all the money the Festival and Fringe brings in the city doesn't seem any better for it.
  12. I turned the local news just now, to be confronted by an effeminate cunt in goggles, about to parachute from a plane, and land in a field in Sunderland- quite brave considering Sunderland has never been introduced to the concept of homosexuality. At first I thought it was Tom Daley, then when I saw him getting strapped tightly to a big RAF thug I was convinced it was Tom Daley. Fucking Hell- imagine the horror of having Tom Fucking Daley's twitching buttocks strapped to you at 20 thousand feet? In the end it wasn't Tom Daley. It was a North-east weather poof called Ross Hutchinson, and he's a fucking cunt. And fuck Tom Daley.
  13. They've eaten half of my garden. There’s 20000 slugs in the average garden, I have a big rear, so I have 30000 - it’s costing me an arm & leg on slug pellets & the cuntbreeds gobbled my hollyhocks - they are fat cunts, none of them are dead. This wet summer has give us the superslug & they haven’t hibernated as they normally do. I don’t have a leaf without a hole in it. Slugs are cunts, fat, ugly, slimey cunts.
  14. Fucking thick/old cunts who lack any education or life-skills to be able to gain meaningful employment, hanging about in supermarket foyers trying to scam old/thick cunts into parting with their hard earned benefits/pensions, for a 'service' that is completely irrelevant to their needs. The doley cunts probably don't have their car insured and the old cunts only ever travel between home and the supermarket anyway. I'm pretty sure any cunt who has a shit enough car to warrant breakdown cover, probably has the intellectual capability to arrange it on the phone/internet. T minus 5 minutes to a boring manky "my bike never breaks down" pile of shit post. (It's a shame quince grassed Eddie up, he'd fucking love this shit).
  15. What the fuck is it with restaurants and pubs these days? Is there a shortage of plates in the world, or is it simply the fucking trend to serve a 3 course meal on anything but a plate, the one fucking thing that particular piece of crockery was designed for? Starter in some glass fucking dish, main on a fucking piece of wood and desert on some slate. Not one fucking plate throughout, it was only because the waitress had a fuckable arse and tits that I didn't lose my shit. Fuck off, give me my food on a plate and my fucking pint in a normal glass, not something that looks like a fucking knock-off Waterford crystal fucking vase. Cunts
  16. Not a religious rant, but I've spent all fucking day trying to send a stupid bird/cunt home from work as she's been sat at her desk, staring out the window on the verge of tears because her great Aunt passed away on the weekend. The lazy cunt would rather sit in the office, telling any poor cunt who makes eye contact with her about how upset she is, before fucking off to have an emotional moment with a colleague. Firstly, shut up and do your work, or fuck off. Secondly, I doubt you were even close to the (now) dead cunt so stop fucking crying. Finally, stop being an attention-whore and kill yourself. Utter fucking cunt. Ps- cunts who come to work but make out they're dying in order to get people to feel sorry for them can suck my cock and fuck off and all.
  17. I don't know if this is purely a Welsh phenomenon, but these cunts who wield a pram into oncoming traffic in order to get cunts like me to slow down, need a fucking good hiding. These lazy cunts seem to have things that are so important to do, that they feel endangering the life of their offspring is more appropriate than waiting for the red light to do its work. I find this extremely cuntish behaviour as the most important thing these vermin will do in a day is buy a scratch card in the vain hope that a win will lead to a better life, or maybe just a bigger pram, to be more of a cunt with. Fucking cunts, who should be chemically castrated.
  18. Guest

    Google Fucking Chrome

    So, click on Chrome... Fuckall happens... Check taskmanager, Chrome is there... still fookall happens... restart PC, Go to #1 and repeat None of the fixes work, because it's Chrome that has actually fucked itself up, the xml files want a folder #46 or #48... I have #45 and #47.... Alter the files to correct them... other files are fucking well missing... Try to Uninstall Chrome... see #1 above... Use Revo, see #1 above AGAIN... Finally delete every fucking piece of the fucking cunting wanking bastarding shit off the PC, restart... Just installing Chrome again from scratch (The missus uses it... keeps her shit away from my shit....)... and the missus comes downstairs saying Chrome isn't working on the other PC... FUCKING BASTARD FUCKING ARRRGGGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  19. Any brother worth his fried chicken knows it is, as the SNP put it, "ah nonsense" to point ones Glock at another brother, from a different mother, fucking sideways. For a start, if a cunt "stateside" has to sight down the side of ones "piece" at another cunt, as per their own published statistics, it is more likely than not that the cunt on the business end is blacker than the "blue" of the Glock itself, and as such the weapon, target, and dimness of the crack-den, conspire to make it nigh on impossible to cap that cunt in the skull. Any cunt worth his salt knows that, after establishing range, azimuth and windage, one needs at the very least an "iron" back and foresight to ensure accurate delivery of the, hopefully hollowpoint, spitzer projectile into the other cunts face, though a laser sight is obviously preferable. Im not at all impressed by these pipe-hitting cats that disregard all the experience our true-blue grandads have accrued under pain of invasion of shooting Gerry directly in the face, without holding the Enfield fucking sideways. If this shite "rolled" with us cunts in Blighty, I'd prefer to be "capped" by Graham Norton with a properly held fire arm than by some LA prick any day.
  20. Guest

    Lawyers... again...

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/defence/12083609/Lawyers-face-prospect-of-being-struck-off-over-Iraq-abuse-claims.html Bunch of cunts. They're cunts whether this happened or not, the soldiers on the front line should not have to face this shit after telling Death to fuck off to his face... If they want to charge anyone for anything, ever, charge the fucking politicians, not the poor bloody infantry...
  21. Guest

    Mulled bleach

    Yes!!!
  22. Guest

    Paris

    Think the perpetrators must take the place of the biggest cunts of the year by far.... Truly sickened by what I've just been watching on TV...
  23. Guest

    The Greek Island of Lesbos

    The Greek Island of Lesbos,what a fucking let down. I've been watching the news for weeks now and those poor refugees must also be disappointed. The Mayor is a Man and I have seen no girl on girl action whatsoever. Lesbos? Fuck all to do with double ended dildos. Fucking misleading Greek cunts.
  24. It's not often that I pay the slightest bit of attention to anything that comes out of the overfed gob of Ricky Gervais. But I read online today about his campaign to end the Yulin Dog meat festival. Basically, to summarise, each year thousands of dogs are rounded up, some of them stolen pets, and slaughtered for meat. The real barbarism is that the degenerate, sick fucking cunts behind it believe that the meat tastes better if the animal is tortured first. They do this by beating them, setting them on fire, and skinning and boiling them alive. I'm a big believer that you should not criticise another country's culture just because it is alien to you. But fuck culture, basic humanity that should cross all races should be inherent in us all. The participants in this fucking disgusting spectacle are less than human and should be lined up and shot. But tortured first of course. Live like a foul inhuman cunt, die like a foul inhuman cunt.
  25. cuntspotter

    DVLA

    Your paper licence, apparently, will not be valid after 8th June. In future, should you wish to hire a car you will have to log on the the DVLA site the day before and get a one time pass code, valid for 72 hours. The DVLA claim this has been widely publicised. Have you heard anything about it ? ... No , I haven't either, cunts.
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