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Found 9 results

  1. Billionaire brexiteer land rover boss jim speaks about building his new German designed mud plugger the grenadier..named after the boozer he was drinking in in salubrious belgravia..the canny biznizman now based in Monaco there by evading a 4 billion pound tax bill to HMRC..he also speaks with pride about saving 1300 jobs in his new factory in france...bridge end was not mentioned PANZERMURPHYBABY
  2. The most obvious thing to point out is the mascot sporting a headscarf. I know she's only about five, but I hope she was properly frisked...just in case. Where's Big Jock when you need him?
  3. Ollyboro


    No, I don't have a bidet. Let's say there are a million bidets in Britain (pre-Brexit# getting our anuses wet) how many of them do you reckon get used daily? I don't think anycunt who owns a bidet actually uses one. About 20 years ago, my mate allowed his wife to spend a few grand on a new bathroom suite. Anyway, after a night on the piss, he staggered back into his house - the evening his bathroom suite had been fitted- and promptly had a shit in his new bidet. He'd confused it with an actual toilet. Anyhow, he's no longer married to the bidet bitch, although he still lives in the same house. I think he's got rid of the turd, the wife but not the bidet. Never used the bidet since.
  4. The world's most stupid, orange cunt has declared a state of emergency to secure funding for the most pointless wall since Hadrian knocked one up, forgetting that the National Express would one day ferry the pissed Jock cunts directly to London for a fucking tenner. The thing is, he's billions short of what the cost will be. So why not build a smaller wall? He's got a clear choice: 1) Build his wall about 160 km (100 miles post Brexit) wide and I dunno, 20 feet(20 feet post Brexit) high, or 2) Build his wall 2000 miles wide and about 6 inches high. Either way, Trump's a cunt. But if I was him, I'd plump for choice 2. At least it would keep the wheelchair users out, thus causing less congestion near the car parking spaces near supermarket doors.
  5. This silly Cambridge cunt wants a naked debate with Jacob Reece Mogg. Cambridge University's 'naked professor', Dr Victoria Bateman has challenged Brexiteer Jacob Rees-Mogg to strip down for a Brexit debate. The fat arsed economics fellow at Gonville & Caius College tweeted about having a naked debate with the MP, saying that "the invitation is always open Jacob Rees-Mogg" Looking at her, the 'invitation' would probably be open to anyone, even Neil, and I don't think he's that desperate (though I expect he'll give his opinion if we ask him nicely) Is the world ready for naked politicians and exhibitionist old slappers cumming together on our tv screens?
  6. My nomination for COTY only came into my conciousness a couple of hours before 2018 ended. Our Lass' mate works for one of the big supermarkets. Anyhow, a 32 year old (32 year old - not 22, or even 16) recently left his job, with this particular supermarket chain, to join the army. His entire army career lasted fewer than 25 days. He didn't like the army for the following reasons: They made him get up at 04:45 every morning. They made him make his bed and fold his clothes every morning. They made him have breakfast before 07.00 every morning. What the fuck was he expecting? Anyhow, after fewer than 25 days, he left the army. In the short time he was accepting Her Majesty's shilling, his parents - who he'd lived with prior to his army stint - moved from a three bedroom house in Middlesbrough, to a two bedroom house in Newcastle. And let his brother (who has just left the army - after many years service) move in with them. Thus leaving no room for laughing boy. Desperate for a job he went back to the supermarket. They were good enough to give him a job. Unfortunately his new hours are 04:00 - 11:00. He'd have got more of a lie- in if he'd stopped in the army. What a cunt.
  7. So apparently British news websites have put out articles from "experts" claiming after brexit, Britain will turn into some apocalyptic Mad Max esque dystopian hell where there's no food or medicine etc. with civil unrest and the earth will open up and swallow us whole. Get fucked you fear mongering cunts, Britain invented medicine and 65% of everything the world takes for granted. I couldn't be arsed to post a link but i'm sure someone else will.
  8. Prices at fish and chip shops across the UK will have to increase to cover a rise in the cost of cod if Britain crashes out of the EU with no free trade deal, according to a new report. In the event of a hard Brexit, investment bank Rabobank claims that tariffs placed on imports of the country's most popular seafood would range between 7.5% and 18%. Rabobank animal protein analyst Beyhan De Jong said: "In the event of a hard Brexit, we would see tariffs imposed on fish imports, which would likely see Britain's fish and chip shops increase consumer prices to cover their own rising costs. 'according to a new report' , that is a new report written by some cunt we've never heard of, working for some cunt financial institution that we've also never heard of, probably with some vested interest in seeing Brexit, fail, so they can carry on sucking the EU's cock and making money out of manipulating the financial markets. FFS, we invented Fish 'n' Chips, if that poncy cunt Edward Heath hadn't surrendered our fishing rights to the EU we could've eaten fish'n'chips for every fuckin' meal 'til the end of time. Fuck the EU and the cunts who make money out of exploiting the Brexit situation for their own gain. CUNTS!
  9. Quite simply, some cunt bumped into me today in the street, nearly spilling my coffee. He had a stupid moustache, reason enough to deserve being shoved under a bus, but then I noticed he was reading a book while walking up the fucking road. I've seen a few cunts do this, and cannot imagine doing it. You'ld start, leave the house, then automatically feel like a cock and stop. It was Harry Potter. What a faggot.
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