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  1. The temperature gets above 12 degrees for one cunting day and all the scummy fuckers in every city in the country crawl away from watching ITV 3 and rock up on mass at the park. Expect spikes in chink flu in a fortnight which is the time it’ll take to clear up all the rubbish and plastic left behind and the puke, shite and seminal fluid to biodegrade. What a great opportunity to carpet bomb every park with napalm, cluster bombs and white phos the next time the sun comes out. The survivors can by machine gunned and buried in the bomb craters.
  2. Being the summer hols, I've got the occasional day off to spend with my darling children and in an attempt to stop them beating 7 bells out of each other and sending me 100% insane I decided to take them on a day out on the only bus that visits our rural idyll a week. My choice of destination (the only choice) was poor. Fuck me side ways, if there's ever an urban shit dump that deserves to be napalmed to oblivion with a few tons of white phos grenades thrown in for good measure its Glawster. Every other cunt was either spaced out on drugs or booze, a tattooed scag head lurching like a zom
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