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So it would appear that the fat pig from Little Mix has ruffled the feathers of the perpetually outraged black online community. I'm all for slating the tone deaf dog for genuine reasons, but she's in hot water with the ancestral PTSD afflicted cotton pickers for "cultural appropriation". Apparently, her new hairstyle, which consists of dreadlocks, is offensive to black people as she is a white/tango orange slag stealing their heritage. For a start, dreadlocks aren't biologically normal for any race, they're basically the result of being a lazy, dirty cunt with severe hydrophobia. Secondly, when a black woman tames her microphone-head hair with chemical straighteners there isn't a similar outburst from the white community about the she-black attempting to make herself attractive to the normal human eye. Eddie?

The World's Greatest Living Yorkshireman has stepped up to the crease and added to an already enviable record of cuntishness. Past indiscretions from Geoff "My mum could have caught that in her pinny" Boycott include knocking the fuck out of his Mrs, and claiming -that unlike other cricketers- he was never in any danger of suffering from depression, because he was a better player. The latest masterwork from Geoff "My mum could have hit that with a stick of rhubarb" Boycott is to ponder the reasons why he's never had a knighthood. Er, perhaps it could be because of the above. Or perhaps it was because he flouted the anti-apartheid boycott (ha!) of South Africa and played a rebel tour there. Or maybe it's because he called the honours committee a bunch of cunts for giving the '05 Ashes winners a gong each. Geoff just can't understand why West Indian players like Viv Richards, Garfield Sobers and Clive Lloyd have all got knighthoods. So Geoff, naturally, has asked out loud if blacking up would help his cause. What a guy. What a cunt.