KingRollo

29 minutes ago, Frank said:

Who are you? 

Don't be silly.

23 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

He is a miserable little twerp agreed? 

Wizard called me a miserable little twerp once.  It was because I didn't like the socks he gave me.  They didn't match.  Wizard said I was being too fussy, but given what he likes to wear, I don't trust his judgement - I mean look at him:

I was most put out by the unkind remark and I do suggest you exercise some caution before bandying about ill-thought-out insults here on the corner, especially with all the complications from your head trauma - you may cause unintended offence.

9 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

So you thrive in concise erudite nodels of logical debate do you? Go somewhere else. 

What's a nodel?

6 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

Certain cunts have an obsession with bleach and drinking bleach which is probably a Lady Macbeth handwashing psychosis thingy. At leadt Lady Macbeth was a real person. 

You really are overestimating Pen.  

1 hour ago, Dawn Chorus said:

Before you take another ride on your `stead' sit down and have a nice drink of bleach.

I won't waste the bleach by drinking it, milady, when you clearly have urgent need of it for your douche.

1 hour ago, King Billy said:

Good afternoon Your Majesty. What a fine day for such jollifications and titillations. I trust Queen Gwen is in fine fettle? My own fair Queen and I had a rather late night quaffing and tooting with some rather splendid young wenches from some godforsaken shithole called Latvia I believe. Much frolicking and slap and tickle as usual. You know how these things go when the young peasant lassies have a few Babychams and a couple of toots of the Bolivian marching powder. I do however regret taking that last viagra. 10 is normally sufficient and I’m still struggling to fasten my trousers today. I’ve spent all morning seeing how many of the Royal budgies I can stand on my erect organ. So far it’s twelve but the last one has to stand on one leg, so I’m not sure if that counts. Anyway, I digress so I bid you good day for now KR.

Your Lord and Master.

KB

Good afternoon indeed, my Lord and Liege.  Queen Gwen has been in a foul mood.  She came home one afternoon last week, looking like a bucket of wallpaper paste had been emptied on her and smelling like a kipper's pyjamas.  When I asked her about the meaning of this, she just muttered "Cuntman" ... I don't think - Queen or not - she has any business calling me such names and I am considering a stint in the dungeons for her.  The 10th viagra is always the "one which breaks the camel's back" - which is a disgusting practice but from your message, I gather no animals were harmed (although the budgies may need counselling...).  Given the likely chafing and the risk of a zip-related accident, I am sending you an urgent supply of Wizard's robes.  He also has issues in the trouser department.

With sincere affection,

Your humble servant,

KR

2 hours ago, Gronda Gronda said:

The only club he's had anything to do with was coated in chocolate and infused with bits of fruit.

Scat night at Club Pen?

13 hours ago, King Billy said:

My dog did some exciting spontaneity on the pavement earlier. I hope I don’t stand in it when I take him out later.

My thoroughbred steed did the same as I was surveying the Kingdom, ensuring that those who have succumbed to bike related head injuries recieve the appropriate care (in the appropriate facility).  I posit that both in your dog's case, and my horse's, the spontaneity was more worthy of attention than the ramblings of the unfortunate Childe...

15 minutes ago, Dawn Chorus said:

Trucking Funt would never get in your golf club .. not because you would try to stop hm but more because he would be far too fat to fit through the gate.

Trucky would never get in his golf club because it doesn't exist, Pen.

I, on the other hand, have a smashing golf course in the Kingdom. Punkape is not a member as we tend only to have actual golf, not windmills and tunnels (or other distractions of a baser nature).

4 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said:

He would never be a member of my club and you’re too vulgar to join our ladies section or the catering staff for that matter.....

lol.

I am sure he wouldn't. His club would be for golfers...

4 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Don't use the word in Portsmouth. Those thick inbred cunts think it means a paedophile. They once bricked a pediatricians house.

Wow. I used to work in Fareham... lucky escape!

4 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

That was tough reading that. 

Sorry Gyps. It's the pedant in me (not in a literal sense...)

4 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said:

Never heard of the cunt...probably works in make up at the BBC...

Queen Gwen says that they're a fantastic department!

4 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

That's a bit of a reach isn't it? Terrible smutty mind. 

A bit of a reach is his speciality. Don't take it personally...

7 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

Piss pants pedant. 

Not sure what you mean. You need punctuation, suffixes and/or pronouns:

Piss, pants pedant - a command, followed by a rather bizarre noun phrase which suggests that I am a pedant, but somewhat lacking (i.e. "pants")

Piss your pants, pedant - a clear command (but you need the word "your" in there)

Piss-pants pedant - a noun phrase which, through the hyphen, clarifies that "piss" is being used as an adverbial noun, not a verb. It suggests that I am a pedant in trousers I have urinated in.

Pissy-panted pedant - a conversion of the nouns "piss" and "pant" into adverbs to create a noun phrase; same meaning as the one before.

How's that for a bit of pedantry?

Also, the link between this attempted insult and the post you have quoted is less than obvious.

Must try harder, as Wizard would say...

5 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

Is that David Buik of Aquis Exchange/KBC/up Ferrari's arse/last heard welcoming the Covid senior cull, "I've had a good life" time to hang up my stocks and shares spread betting boots/and his Lloyds name thicko slice of gammon sproggo? 

What?

5 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

See my post above. And my correction. 

 

That clears that up then.  I must admit though, Josh Widdicombe is also not funny.  And his Dad Ann is pretty shocking too!

What about this father and son pair?  Do you share the widely held view that they are hilarious? Are they an exception to your premise?

12 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

She's a hottie. Obviously, I'm an old fashioned gentleman. But if I wasn't, I'd smash her flaps in and leave her looking like a decorators paste bucket.

She'd enjoy that, the dirty minx.

52 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

Are you sure you aren't Queen Gwen?

I wish! She has the best stylists in the Kingdom!

4 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Never stop the whimsy, Rollo. These cunts don't deserve you.

Couldn't if I tried! I just ooze pizazz!

4 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Indeed. Luckly he confessed his sins on his deathbed and got his last rights before he went.

Thank the Lord!

10 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Fuck that shit!

 

Classic.

6 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Bagpuss died in the early 90's. Feline AIDS.

Their gay scene is even more depraved than our own...

That is disturbing.

5 minutes ago, Major Cunt said:

Ah, I remember it vaguely. A little before my time. Are you in contact with Bagpuss? 

Sadly, my cat Hamlet is a jealous sort.  Bagpuss wouldn't stand a chance, being a saggy old cloth cat.  And Cook would be hurt if I started eating the chocolate biscuits from his mice friends.  And I think that Professor Yaffle and Wizard wouldn't get on at all... competing egos and all that.