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ProfB

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Posts posted by ProfB

  1. ProfB sometimes needs to get somewhere in a hurry, soo I put my foot down & take advantage of the 10% +2 tolerance, what else is it there for? To be used when you are pushed for time.

    The times inconsiderate drivers fail to flash & let me know I might get done for speeding is shocking - too many selfish, me, me, me drivers on the road.

    I would say Volvo drivers are the worse, they never speed, they never get above 40 mph & most are half blind & don’t see the 🐽s in the first place.

    Dominic Cummings has said that he drove to Barnard Castle to test his eyesight before making the long drive home to London.  I don’t think he’d flash & warn me the law was trying to get me done for speeding. 😤

  2. 33 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

    I'm intrigued. Is it just the top half or the bottom half they sell? or do you get a choice.

    Let Agros explain to BigBollox:

    Half a tree might sound a bit odd, but bear with us, there's a method in our madness. A huge hit last Christmas, this half tree is designed for smaller rooms. It sits flush against the wall, only taking up half the space (45cm front-to-back). And who looks at the back of their tree anyway? To save you hours of searching for (and untangling) last year's lights, the tree comes pre-lit! We've strung 120 bulbs of warm white light around the tree, so you won't have to.

     

    WHO LOOKS AT THE BACK OF THIER TREE? & 'so you don't have to' quote. I don't do bulbs, not with my balls.

    7 hours ago, White Cunt said:

    Terrible news. Where will you hang your balls this Christmas?

    Went to Homebase, for a normal tree, my balls will glisten over the festive period.

  3. VAX has gone tit up already:

    Warning over Pfizer vaccine roll-out as two NHS staff suffer 'anaphylactic reaction': Regulators urge people with history of 'significant' allergies NOT to have injection - just 24 hours after Britain's mass inoculation kicked off.

    Read this on Daily Fail website when I was looking for an update on the Beckhams

  4. After the unfortunate Spanish 🐷s in blankets episode in M&S, comes disaster in Argos, they tried to sell me a 1/2 Christmas tree, apparently these are trendy?  I wanted a full tree, what am I supposed to do - buy two halves, or three halves for an extra bushy tree.

    I’ve got a lot of balls to hang on it & a glamorous fairy.

    Only someone with half a brain wants half a tree - half a turkey please, & sprout halves.

  5. On 19/07/2016 at 12:29, Hokey Gingers said:

    NO, it is still happening, I have been carded by a ginger to make matters worse. Long story short, I ended up causing a traffic jam & bringing the town to a standstill collecting my package, simply because a ginger postie didn't hide my eBay package behind my landfill, like any normal postman would.

    Hey that's me CockUp (in my prev corner incarnation), my name changed to CockUp when my membership expired. & Ohh the irony of Hokey Gingers, who I suspected for ages was Prince Harry, but now I know that's not true,

  6. On 23/11/2020 at 18:17, White Cunt said:

    So you put it in the basket (without reading the label) and went through the checkout again without reading the label. 

    Yes.

    I now have the correct ones - they say 'delish' on the packet. If any corner member living locally wants the Spanish ones they are in my freezer. Please PM me for a collection time, then I'll leave them out at the bottom of my drive under a bush at a time convenient to you.

    Thanks,

    ProfB

    • Like 1
  7. On 18/11/2020 at 19:10, ProfB said:

    The story has an happy ending, the mother got replacement food & her money back too.

    The mother believes the driver was caught short.

    IT GOT WORSE:🤯

    Ocado left a bag of shit this time.

    Google it, ProfB does not tell porkie pies.

    Sarah Wilkin 55, was left horrified after an Ocado delivery driver dropped off a bag of SHIT with her food shopping.

    Ocado collected the bag and have launched an investigation. Who dung it?

    £25 compo.

    What next, what party trick does Ocado have up its sleeve?

  8. 15 hours ago, Major Cunt said:

    What is this load of old bollocks, Prof? I normally associate your prose with battering the dung hatches of recently passed celebrities, and why the fuck hasn't Harvey Price had been nominated? The cunts just turned 18.

    Why is Harvey a potential corner topic - he has health problems.

    Katie Price is a corner topic, but they’d be room for nowt else.

     

  9. In M&S the furloughed pushed & shoved me as I reached out for a packet that said Pigs in Blankets on it, got home & saw the bastard things are Spanish style chorizos & pancetta  - skin from Spanish pigs bollox.

    Pigs in Blankets are a Great British invention -  never did I expect M&S to trick me in such a downright wicked manner.

    I hope my spouts are grown in Norfolk - the sea air wafting over them… mmmh and planted using lunar gardening guarantees award winning bulbous sprouts.

     

    Merry Christmas 🎄 everyone

    • Like 2
  10. 6 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

    If it's really the legendary ProfB, I think it's brilliant. Now we just need Brony Keith. 

    TA Mr Cuntman.

    Let the furloughed freeze their bollox off queueing for a M&S pudd, the cunttingtons enjoyed topping up their tans during the first lockdown. Let it

    ProfB is dreaming of a White Christmas.

    The big freeze 🥶 is what we need.

    Are emoji Ok Spotto, don't think the forum accepted them last time, or at least my burnt chips had to be posted of some photo site, then linked, I had probs with that.

     

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