ProfB

Boris hasn’t had time to comb his mop, yet he thinks a bit more chin wagging will sort it - it won’t.

As old &/or regular forum members, readers & fans know - I am a bit psychic,  deal or no deal? No deal, it’s all been said, if it was going to be sorted it would’ve been by now.

🐫 🐪

& what’s this bollox about panic shopping because of no deal? Just done it for Coronavirus again - I have 119 bog rolls, I cannot keep buying the bloody things.

Sod the veg - I grown my own broads.

20 hours ago, Dawn Chorus said:

I cannot name names.

Anyone can say that, you are cheating at collecting your cunt point - you grabbed yourself two points for SFA.

I want names, dates of birth, locations & how much they had to cough up for flashing.

1 hour ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

We've all fell into the trap of assuming a fucking mentally retarded spastic like ProfB has got the mental capacity to pass a driving test in the first place.

You are always picking on me, I passed 1st time. smallbollox

3 hours ago, Dawn Chorus said:

The police have done some motorist for people warning other motorists about speed traps

Who have they done?

ProfB sometimes needs to get somewhere in a hurry, soo I put my foot down & take advantage of the 10% +2 tolerance, what else is it there for? To be used when you are pushed for time.

The times inconsiderate drivers fail to flash & let me know I might get done for speeding is shocking - too many selfish, me, me, me drivers on the road.

I would say Volvo drivers are the worse, they never speed, they never get above 40 mph & most are half blind & don’t see the 🐽s in the first place.

Dominic Cummings has said that he drove to Barnard Castle to test his eyesight before making the long drive home to London.  I don’t think he’d flash & warn me the law was trying to get me done for speeding. 😤

33 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

I'm intrigued. Is it just the top half or the bottom half they sell? or do you get a choice.

Let Agros explain to BigBollox:

Half a tree might sound a bit odd, but bear with us, there's a method in our madness. A huge hit last Christmas, this half tree is designed for smaller rooms. It sits flush against the wall, only taking up half the space (45cm front-to-back). And who looks at the back of their tree anyway? To save you hours of searching for (and untangling) last year's lights, the tree comes pre-lit! We've strung 120 bulbs of warm white light around the tree, so you won't have to.

WHO LOOKS AT THE BACK OF THIER TREE? & 'so you don't have to' quote. I don't do bulbs, not with my balls.

7 hours ago, White Cunt said:

Terrible news. Where will you hang your balls this Christmas?

Went to Homebase, for a normal tree, my balls will glisten over the festive period.

6 minutes ago, Weary&Disgusted said:

Its a mystery tooooooo meeeeeeee

🤭 

Toyah was the great voice behind a Teletubby - she has a special gift from above.

On 01/12/2020 at 06:26, Cunty BigBollox said:

I accidentally clicked something? SORRY ProfB

VAX has gone tit up already:

Warning over Pfizer vaccine roll-out as two NHS staff suffer 'anaphylactic reaction': Regulators urge people with history of 'significant' allergies NOT to have injection - just 24 hours after Britain's mass inoculation kicked off.

Read this on Daily Fail website when I was looking for an update on the Beckhams

Thanks for your responses.

Sorry I have posted recently, I've been looking out for a Christmas Tree 🌲 🎄 

After the unfortunate Spanish 🐷s in blankets episode in M&S, comes disaster in Argos, they tried to sell me a 1/2 Christmas tree, apparently these are trendy?  I wanted a full tree, what am I supposed to do - buy two halves, or three halves for an extra bushy tree.

I’ve got a lot of balls to hang on it & a glamorous fairy.

Only someone with half a brain wants half a tree - half a turkey please, & sprout halves.

I HATE 😡 eggs, it's so unfair.

9 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

What do you get if you cross a rastafarian and a ginger?

A gingerbreadmon 

🤭 

On 19/07/2016 at 12:29, Hokey Gingers said:

Postie Says Sorry Profb.

NO, it is still happening, I have been carded by a ginger to make matters worse. Long story short, I ended up causing a traffic jam & bringing the town to a standstill collecting my package, simply because a ginger postie didn't hide my eBay package behind my landfill, like any normal postman would.

Hey that's me CockUp (in my prev corner incarnation), my name changed to CockUp when my membership expired. & Ohh the irony of Hokey Gingers, who I suspected for ages was Prince Harry, but now I know that's not true,

21 hours ago, King Billy said:

🐑 Baaaa. 

You stupid cunt.

BOLLIX

11 hours ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Great. What's the address where I can cave your stupid fucking skull in?, sorry, i meant collect the sausages?

Judging by your photo, someone has already collected your sausage - it's missing.

On 23/11/2020 at 18:17, White Cunt said:

So you put it in the basket (without reading the label) and went through the checkout again without reading the label. 

Yes.

I now have the correct ones - they say 'delish' on the packet. If any corner member living locally wants the Spanish ones they are in my freezer. Please PM me for a collection time, then I'll leave them out at the bottom of my drive under a bush at a time convenient to you.

Thanks,

ProfB

Yes they have both, but a furloughed HMRC employee & others made me grab the wrong packet - they were all together - I say the Brits & Spans are a different kettle of fish?

The last thing I want Christmas day is a spicy sausage.

Ocado may well deliver the contents of the sanitary bin in their ladies toilets next.

I predict this little lot of treats, will turn up with a gent's order of vintage wines from M&S & maybe some of those 🐽 in blankets I bought in error when a furloughed HRMC worker rammed their trolley up my arse.

8 inch what? Carrot?

On 19/11/2020 at 21:34, Brit Brutus said:

Norwich is full of carrot crunchers

& speed camera that are cuntbreeds.

But after she picked it up she noticed the smell and was sickened to realise the bag was full of bags of urine and also contained faeces.

So urine again too.

A bucket would be better than bags?

On 18/11/2020 at 19:10, ProfB said:

The story has an happy ending, the mother got replacement food & her money back too.

The mother believes the driver was caught short.

IT GOT WORSE:🤯

Ocado left a bag of shit this time.

Google it, ProfB does not tell porkie pies.

Sarah Wilkin 55, was left horrified after an Ocado delivery driver dropped off a bag of SHIT with her food shopping.

Ocado collected the bag and have launched an investigation. Who dung it?

£25 compo.

What next, what party trick does Ocado have up its sleeve?

15 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

 But did you manage to find Christmas tree shaped crumpets?

Are they in the shops yet? Going through my Quaker Oats phase - just come out of weetabix one, after a brief flirtation with spoon sized shreddies.