ProfB

15 hours ago, Major Cunt said:

What is this load of old bollocks, Prof? I normally associate your prose with battering the dung hatches of recently passed celebrities, and why the fuck hasn't Harvey Price had been nominated? The cunts just turned 18.

Why is Harvey a potential corner topic - he has health problems.

Katie Price is a corner topic, but they’d be room for nowt else.

In M&S the furloughed pushed & shoved me as I reached out for a packet that said Pigs in Blankets on it, got home & saw the bastard things are Spanish style chorizos & pancetta  - skin from Spanish pigs bollox.

Pigs in Blankets are a Great British invention -  never did I expect M&S to trick me in such a downright wicked manner.

I hope my spouts are grown in Norfolk - the sea air wafting over them… mmmh and planted using lunar gardening guarantees award winning bulbous sprouts.

Merry Christmas 🎄 everyone

6 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

If it's really the legendary ProfB, I think it's brilliant. Now we just need Brony Keith. 

TA Mr Cuntman.

Let the furloughed freeze their bollox off queueing for a M&S pudd, the cunttingtons enjoyed topping up their tans during the first lockdown. Let it ⛄️

ProfB is dreaming of a White Christmas.

The big freeze 🥶 is what we need.

Are emoji Ok Spotto, don't think the forum accepted them last time, or at least my burnt chips had to be posted of some photo site, then linked, I had probs with that.

I live in Norfolk.

My home is haunted too - by a friendly 👻 .

5 days of festivities will result in 25 days of lockdown according to scientists - 1 day of turkeying = 5 days of lockdown.

We could have 3 days of Christmas & 15 lockdown days, or no days of Christmas & 25 lock free days.

Brussel sprouts are good for the immune system, high in vit c, I’ll be roasting more sprouts than normal this year.

10 hours ago, Brit Brutus said:

Aren’t plastic carrier bags supposed to have little holes in them to stop our wee nippers crawling in and choking? 

Piss would run out if there was holes.

The story has an happy ending, the mother got replacement food & her money back too.

The mother believes the driver was caught short.

On 07/11/2020 at 18:06, camberwell gypsy said:

Perhaps all the dirty masks could be recycled by sewing them together into quilts to keep elderly people warm.

Contaminated face masks are blowing into the ocean & killing jellyfish & jellyfish don't have a brain.