scotty

Will Carling scored, Dodi Fayed hit the post.

Only after Henri Paul hit the bar...

Highly doubt it's Jimmy anymore Scotty.

I thought admin was still James?

You were advised to return under the radar in a few weeks. Yes, Judge can be an old woman, but you are being provocative about a subject for which your last ID was deleted by me. Goodbye for two weeks.

Blimey, Jimmy isn't fucking about is he!! Hard as nails, good work son.

I would have thought that getting beaten up at the Fifty Shades of Gray screening would be the reason for going if you're that way inclined. I bet loads of kinky cunts are queuing up for it.

That is an excellent point, and one which hadn't occurred to me. A market opportunity, perhaps? Up and down the queue flogging whips and handcuffs, twenty quid a crack?

Scotty you nailed it. I read it even out here in the fucking sticks.
Brony, you need to plagiarise better, you dopey myocardial infarction waiting to happen.

Good man, glad to hear it reaches the antipodes. To be fair to our obese friend here, the gag was sufficiently amusing to make it worth plagiarising.

I find it extraordinary just how many times my PC needs to install updates, and generally when I'm in a hurry to to use the thing. I hate Windows with a passion, but unfortunately there are still some things I have no choice but to use it for. It has just taken around 15 minutes to process over 31,000 update operations, which involved it restarting three times. I only used it last week for fucks sake! What the hell could have happened it that time that could necessitate such massive update activity?

 

Have you visited any, ahem, dodgy websites lately dapps? Or opened any email attachments that might not have been entirely kosher? I'm pretty sure windows doesn't bombard you with quite that many updates at a time, (not that they aren't anything other than utter cunts.) Could be a virus or hacking attempt.

Aha!! A fellow Viz reader. Straight from the hallowed pages, Raffles the gentleman thug. Good work keith.

I like it.

Good grief, Penfold.

Just as long as its not construed as poofery.....

Poofs.

I want to be left in the woods so scientists can study my decomposition and all the organisms that eat my remains

An interesting notion, stubby. That exact idea was one my ex-wife was very keen on. At least, I'm sure she would have been.

I want to be eaten by badgers.

I want my remains scattered around Disneyland. And I don't want to be cremated.

Frank is making a few more friends tonight...

when my dear little granddaughter died last year

Sorry to hear that, gyppo. Nobody should see their child die, let alone a grandchild. :(

Fuck off, frank. Slit your fucking wrists or something.

Arrhythmic sabot is a new genre of urban poetry Scotto.
And I, Oberst Rat have invented it.

*...looks up contact details for copyright registration....* ©

And a response from the other drug addict.

You should try a few drugs yourself walter, it might mellow you down a bit. And possibly make you slightly less of a cunt.

Spoil your ballot.

My local mp is caroline noakes, the filthy bitch...google her. I fully intend to spoil my ballot paper by jizzing onto it.

See what I mean ?

I see what you mean?

There once a woman named Farage
Whose cunt could swallow a barge,
In passing one day,
Husband Nigel did say,
I fuckin hate foreigners, me.

I can tolerate rudeness, insults and bad language. Standard fare for this site.

But a limerick that doesn't scan or rhyme?? That's beyond the fucking pale.

Imagine the state of her fanny.

I'd rather not.

Fuck me, what a rant. Had to read it quickly as I wouldn't have got to the end due to the poor punctuation.
One would hope that these lazy cunts would become sterile through all the red bull, special brew and junk food they consume thanks to the free handouts? Come on government, start a top secret genetic drugs in fast food program to kill these cunts- and put it in artichoke's too!

In artichoke's what?

And that was a party political broadcast by UKIP.

To be fair gypper, he didn't actually mention immigration during that rant. I'd have said it was more of a tory howl than a ukip one.

Happy Valentines.

 

Never seen it, thank fuck, but I can't believe there's anything out there more up its own arse than Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy. Except, maybe, This Is Jinsy. Fucking bastard fucking cunting media student wankbag cunts!

Language, Timothy...

I hadn't realised that this utter shite had made the move to tv. It can't possibly be any less funny than it has been on radio for the last decade, but as I have no more intention of watching the cunt than I have of listening to him, I'm ill placed to judge.