scotty

Blimey... My Doctor's onto a winner simply by diagnosing himself, the demented old fool.
I only have to pop me head in for a repeat prescription of Methadone, and he's trying to tit me-up and all sorts. Still, the fifty five quid will come in handy as 'shut-up' money, I suppose. After all, he's been buggering me for free with his "stethoscope" (his name for his dick) ever since he said I had prob's wiv me tonsils.

My doctor suddenly shouted "Look, no hands!!" in the middle of my prostate examination. Is that normal?

A fan of The Thin Man? I hope you're not going to be all suave and sophisticated and show the rest of us cunts up!

I'd rather have a photo of Myrna Loy's tits tbh, Baws.

The minimum wage to a tory, is not getting your bonus at the end of the year.

When did that ever happen?

Keith, when mummy told you that you were “one of God's chromosomally enhanced little rainbows” what she really meant was “You're a gay fucking mong!”

Harsh, Baws. He has a hot stepmother, remember? What happened to the real one we shall never know.

For a moment there, I thought the top pic was Keith playing the drums.

I look ruddy depressed? If you are, as I suspect, looking at my avatar and personifying it, then I'm not depressed, I'm smelling my finger. Why? Because I R Baboon.

You might want to check that name on Sicki, dapps

And back on topic, coldplay are definitely boring cunts. Keane are no fucking better.

Be fair chaps, who of us hasn't wanked into a manga comic in a high street store? Keith's account of the incident seems quite plausible to me.

He must have survived it because I've just seen him in Sainbury's.

There's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis.

Not sure what it is about this woman but I can see where your coming from on this one.

I've had a long-running thing about her. Naturally, the stalker conviction and asbo haven't helped our relationship, but I'm persevering with it and I hope she will eventually see sense.

Are you sure you're up to that, Scotty? I strongly suspect there's a LOT of pubes!

I'd give it a go Baws, want to do the camera work?

This is only comedy television stuff, and I find the relentless, predictable abuse fairly amusing. What I'd like though is for the producers to take off the restaurant staffs gloves and let them dish it back to the faux-hardman. Its annoying the way they're forced to continually address the cunt as "chef" ramsey, like dogs begging for a biscuit.

Don't worry too much Scotters, I drive a fast approaching 12 year old year old Peugeot 406. Old is good!

Nothing wrong with that dapps, and at least we don't have to worry about where we park the fuckers. If I see a porsche in the multistorey carpark it usually seems to have been keyed; nobody's going to notice our old wrecks, let alone nick them.

I'd like to play the Londonm card and disparage these merc drivers as "oiks", but as I drive a 12 year old hyundai it could only come across as sour grapes.

I would fuck the pubes off her. Then flip her over and do her up the wrong'un. 

 

Censor that, Teresa.

 

Sorry lass your PMT is driving you to the brink - you need some 'me' time & a cup of green tea. You might also find privately messaging 

The real Alfie Noakes useful - he has guided me more than once, when I was at the brink. He's wise beyond his years.

 

Pen claims to be post-menopausal, so PMT probably isn't the issue here.

 

That will be £136.50 for my consultation fee, plus out of hours call-out.

Vulgar. A perfect choice of word to describe the Cayenne. Wish I'd used it in my nom now!

Don't sweat it dapps, "cunt" fitted the bill just as well.

What is the fucking point of an off-road porsche?? Next thing we know, land rover will be premiering their all new 2 seater convertible. Definitely a cunt.

My mom is making me take my medication every day.

Count yourself lucky Keith, those suppositories she rams in are the biggest thrill you'll ever get. 

Any idea who the complainant was? Kershaw?

Is it a commode?

There's a marketing opportunity if ever I saw one!! Good thinking ducunti, play the piano and have a shit at the same time. Will you apply for the patent, or shall I?

We need to support this young chap ,Scotty. Before things start going wrong for him.

I seem to remember forking out a tenner to get the forum up and running again. What about another admin fund to get keith a proper prossie and bust his cherry? One who'd dress up in a plushie outfit? I reckon its the least we could do.

lmfao, poor keith.

Private Eye have had an ongoing vendetta against this cunt for several years now. And they are right. Take a look at his history, abusing a mentally ill constituent cannot be acceptable on any level. Bottom line: he's a cunt. Fuck off Mike, do the decent thing and kill yourself as painfully as you can.

Jerry Hardy had it right about this cunt. "Russell, just because you're shouting it, it doesn't make it funny." Fucking squinting waste of space, let Fender loose on him.

This cunt has finally resigned from the Lib Dems. Do us all a favour mike, you fucking pervert, and resign from Parliament as well. Then kill yourself.

 

Cunt.

 

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-29265679