scotty

well i did invite you again, shame you didnt keep in touch. Hey jazz, you know why it tasted like shit don't you ... It was last week's plate scrapings including what the dog left.

We had my mother in law round for lunch today, gobbler. My dog sat right by her at the table, gazing up adoringly at her. She said "that's so cute, is he really that fond of me?" I said "no, its just that you're eating off his plate."

Never been there and judging be these comments I never will.

Same here, ducunti. I just wish some fucker had given me a similar warning about bristol before I went there, what a fucking hideous shithole that place is.

Opening pubs in motorway service stations is a stroke of total genius, the biggest single contribution to the science of eugenics since Josef Mengele's father forgot to wear a condom that one time in the summer of 1910...

You can get a drink in most continental service stations, and their blood/alcohol limit is lower than ours.

Lay off keith you cunts. Its the old cupboard/sex doll story, we've all been there. Errm, haven't we?

Wetherspoons are fucking great. Breakfast for three quid and you can get a pint with it at 8 in the morning, what more do you fucking want?? Plus on the odd occasion I find myself in London, they are the only places I can afford to drink at.

Where do we go from here?

"Is it down to the lake I fear"?

Those cunts need a dose of Fender's claw hammer.

I have Progeria in reverse.

You'd have been a hit with Jimmy Saville then.

Funny as fuck! How the fuck did you get so mangey Crapper? is it Aids or something?

Probably Ebola, grumps. Don't hug the poor fucker.

Never heard of the bastard. He appears the sort of chap who enjoys the company of young men. Shoot him, before his disease spreads. Fucking woofter.

He looks a bit like one of the real ale twats, vodds. And oddly, in the latest viz that strip had a heemasex theme to it, so you could be on to something here.

What's his day job, licking envelopes at the DVLA.

His day job is more likely to be licking windows, he looks a right spaz.

I had the snip fucking years ago so never needed the horrible things so its pop a vigra and into a nice wet juicy minge if I can find one round the back of the fish shop on a Saturday night

.....and they say romance is dead.

The British are the only people with manners whilst eating, save for the Cornish and Scouse.

You've obviously never been to Portsmouth, jazzster.

I can't stand watching people eat at the best of times, especially obese cuntbreeds.

Talking of obese cuntbreeds, why do so many yank films display this horrible behaviour? Oceans 11 seemed to be a nonstop study of brad cunting pitt burbling through a gobful of crisps, fucking revolting. I don't mind the neanderthal cunts stuffing their fat sweaty faces, but not while their trying to talk. Cunts.

Never trust anything that drinks and bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

Very true.

Told him to 'bugger off' in a personal email because I don't like him.

Did you really, pisshead? Are you absolutely sure? Didn't drunkenly pmail another user altogether, or anything idiotic like that?

..you mean have a separate browser that the Missus doesn't know about and have it auto-delete all history, searches and cookies every time you close it...

...er...I've heard some people do this...ahem...

:D

..you mean have a separate browser that the Missus doesn't know about and have it auto-delete all history, searches and cookies every time you close it...

...er...I've heard some people do this...ahem...

:D

No.,.. that's how she keeps herself happy....

@Gobbler.... next time you empty a bottle, piss in it and tell him you're on white wine.... remember to chill it properly though..

There are websites dedicated to just that, Ding. But delete your browsing history after perusing them.

No use adape, he's got a built-in alcohol radar.

I never realised my mrs came on here. Morning love, get the kettle on and change the clock, will you.

Someday, Keith will surprise us and actually get his end away. At the inquest, the coroner will state "she was overcome by the fumes, and suffocated."

So come on Keith, how did it go? Did you pull, or get the widely-predicted kicking? I'm on the edge of me seat here.

^^

Blimey!!! I take it back, very nice.

I used to know one of the female companions who had a photo done naked with one of the daleks back in the late 60s. She lives near me

POIDH.

I rather like the full figured woman..... With curves!

Oh, yes.

The saints defectors did well tonight for the scousers, held Real to only 3-0 at anfield. Good work lads.