applescruff14

Mentioned in the song 'Give Peace A Chance'

I couldn't bring myself to do it, I usually go to the self service checkouts when I am out shopping.

Have you considered a saga holiday most of them are up for it.

Even that wouldn't help my cause.

He has not been pulling his weight lately.

He has not been pulling his weight lately.

Neither has my luck but it would be unnatural if it did.

Like comparing Rolf Harris to Rembrandt.

Suppose we have to think ourselves lucky really, admin could of said fuck the lot of it and closed it all down.

That's true.

I always have a nice cup of coffee at work when the going gets tough.

I now see the problem, its not easy to find a kiddie fiddling woman with a beard and glasses.

In all seriousness that woman I am trying to lure on the dating site I might as well just accept the fact I am clutching at straws, it is never going to happen.

Lovely animals.

This is a carbon copy of what happened in September 2009 but it got reverted back as it wasn't that popular, I don't mind it like this although did prefer the other one.

I hope my luck improves but I have been saying that for years.

And now a poem.
I used to love English cricket with a passion unsurpassed
But their defensive fucking tactics
They can shove right up their arse
In the halcyon days we had Jack Hobbs, Then Botham and Flintoff,
Now our keeper is a poofter
And our Captain is a toff 
We got rolled by fucking convicts in the ashes just last year
Coz our captain is a wanker
and our keeper's still a queer.
We need the likes of Goughie, Lionhearted strong and true
Instead our captain is a girls blouse
And our keeper's balls deep in poo.

Are you actually posting from Down Under?

Whip out the old fella, apple and start sketching a rough outline of a bearded kangaroo with pre-cum on her thigh, then ask her if she can guess what it is yet.

It doesn't matter what I try it just isn't happening, it's like England v Germany, a hoodoo that won't lift.

You became a legend of the silver screen and now the thought of meeting you makes me weak in the knees.

I can't wait until applescruff69 arrives.

That wont be happening, my love life is in a crisis. It just isn't happening.

Are you the real applescruff, or ersatz? It would be quite easy to hijack your style, even a useless lard arse like BronyKeith could do it.

Yes I am.

Should have published that one apple it might have gone gold.

The Peter & Gordon version is good, it's easy to tell Paul has written that.

Wecome back Apple, no cricket thread yet, but i have a feeling one will be coming, meanwhile, good to see England go 2-1 up against India.

Did it without Broad as well in the second innings, Ali seems to be a good replacement for Swann.

I don't care what they say I won't stay in a world without love.

Welcome back. Thought you had left us. I was just thinking back to your tradesman days .......

Not after 8 years, that Beatles song 'I've Just Seen A Face' is looming large at the moment but probably on the verge of ending.

Is he having lots of sex and cant be bothered with us now ?

No chance of that, at work or doing housework here.

I am back, trying to get a woman on a dating site but it is difficult. There is something about her I like, if it doesn't happen then the consolation is that comparing her to the woman I really want is like comparing Rolf Harris to Rembrandt.