Jiggerycock

8 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Fenton, surely? Or is this the mother of all Freudian slips?

Never quite sure, only there was a bloke called Benton used to work for us and we (in our 'you don't have to be mad to work here - but it helps', Colin Hunt-invoking wackiness) used to scream 'Jesus Christ Benton!!' when it got a bit quiet or tedious (.........so only the 12 times a day)

1 hour ago, PANZER MURPHY said:

Absolutely not spotto baby ..he just got me hopes up for a bitta entertainment..playin funerals is terrible boring..not a looker at any of em n no gargle either 

PANZERMURPHYBABY 

Looks like you'll have to get used to it, now COVID is tearing through your country like Jonah Lomu through a Tony Underwood tackle

Still never mind. You've got the EU's vaccination procurement programme to protect you.

What is it? About .5% of the poulation vaccinated and only 40,000 doses actually received!

1 minute ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Stupid fucking cunt couldn't control his red-setter dog as it attacked a deer in Richmond Park. Now, everyone knows I fucking detest gingers do this fucking dog would have got the metal pedal from my bike rammed into it's stupid fucking head before I used its bloody carcass to slap some sense into its owner. What sort of stupid fucking name is Franck anyhow.

Benton!!

Oh Jesus Christ! BENTON!!!!

3 hours ago, colonelkurtz said:

The youngest person convicted of terrorism in Britain - who plotted to murder police officers in Australia on Anzac Day aged 14 - can be freed from jail, the Parole Board has ruled.The 20-year-old, from Blackburn, who can only be identified as RXG, sent encrypted messages to an Australian jihadist to launch attacks in 2015.He was jailed for life that year after admitting inciting terrorism overseas. 

But the Parole Board now says it is "satisfied" he is suitable for release. They obviously decided as the phsycopathic cunt spent the last 5 years learning crocheting  , perfecting his ballroom dancing moves and reading up on Jane Austen he's now fit to join normal society.

At least Jeff Wode only wanted to toss his orb about - not slaughter innocent civillians.

Look at him! Look at RXG!!

I have been genuinely confused by the Lib Dems stance post Brexit vote.

They supported the idea of a vote and said they would respect the result. When it didn't go their way, they backtracked and then their leader said  she would not respect a further vote if it went against their position.

This to me is the very antithesis of ' Democratic'.

To me, the Lib Dems have morphed into a neither democratic nor liberal party.

They now lean to authoritarian policies and prefer this country to be controlled via the 'wise decisions' of the EU unelected technocrats than the demos of their own citizenry.

16 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

They are Harold.

Chris Whitty told me. 

We Built Chris Whitty on Rock n Roll!

Just now, Cuntybaws said:

Surely those big black women are proud of their beautiful big black bodies just as they are, that's what they keep telling everyone. I hope there's no fucking cultural appropriation going on here.

I think it's more 'adipose appropriation' 

9 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

I couldn’t care less about how many procedures these vacuous skanks pay for or how disfigured & septic they become. The more the better I say. But taxpayers funds via the NHS to treat them? I don’t fucking think so. They should be given two years to pay the state back, if they don’t/won’t then it’s orange boilersuit time cleaning the streets up. That’ll get their weight down. Then, kill them.

You clearly missed the meeting where we all got together and it was agreed everyone could have everything - and if they couldn't then they could sue

Cosmetic surgery? Tattoo Removal? Childless? Had a skinful on Saturday night and fell over? Fucking tusker with a BMI like Steve Smith's batting average? Don't worry we can fix it....you have rights you know.

13 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Brown hat, probably.

Brown Hat for a Brown Day - wasn't that a Haircut 100 hit?

Oh and the Trump National (a tournament that's part of the US PGA Tour) has been dropped because it was going to be held at a course owned by 'Orange Man Bad!'

4 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Spurs were pissing that division. They were murdering teams. Bristol Rovers 9-0, Oldham 5-0. Then all of a sudden they started to fuck up and in the end and only just scraped third on the last day.

I remember it well: 0-0 away at Southampton on the final day of the season

19 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

And these were just the ones that were televised

That second one vs Bristol Rovers was epic.

I went to that game and couldn't see what happened exactly - it was only when I saw it on MOTD I could appreciate the true slapstick nature of it all.

14 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I was at that game. When Coventry came out of the tunnel there was a collective "What the fuck are they wearing"? The keeper is the legendary Barry Daines who threatened to leave because he wasn't getting games because it was only Pat Jennings who was keeping him out. So they fuck off Jennings to the shitheads down the road and he gets the games. 

Not sure what was worse: his dodgy perm or his goalkeeping.

His keeping, definitely his keeping in fact in my nightmares I have dreams of him, Mark Kendall and 'Booby' Mimms attempting to keep backpasses from John Lacy from squirming into the net.

On 09/01/2021 at 10:09, Neil said:

Never been but do they hold the title of 'Ugliest front man in a band from Coventry' competition?

The girls in Hemel Hempsteadwould call him a 'keeper'

This insufferably twee media-Jesus and his 'no one gives a fuck' disclosures!

Mind you, faffing about with fluffy kittens on an advert for which he gets paid millions, is about his fucking mark. It's just a shame it's for something as masculine as used cars

25 minutes ago, Dawn Chorus said:

That sounds about right for Coventry. I have to say that I was witness to an amusing scene in the city centre there about twenty years ago. A poor homeless chap and his staffy were sitting by a shop doorway when a skateboarding chav passed by. Staffie shot out and grabbed the skateboard .. chav went flying. I stood there for the next twenty minutes whilst three other skateboarding chavs tried to get the staffie to let go of the skateboard .. when I left the staffie still had possession of the skateboard.

I witnessed an amusing scene in Coventry too - Mick 'The adipose Bob Carolgees' Quinn running and Robert Rosario doing great visual gags as 'centre forward attempting to score a goal'.

Any other contributors have a rib-tickling, Coventry-based vignette they'd like to share?

I've not read it but let me guess:

'Mean streets....poor but happy.....gangs....violence....racism....police brutality....guns / knives......drugs......music as a way out.....the authentic voice of disaffected youth.'

How am I doing?

Rap is right up there with dull, bland, unchallenging pop music (see also this snivelling wretch https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-55543585 who I caught on 5 Live yesterday, presented as the High Priestess of Planet fucking Now, instead of a dull middle-class simpleton who know shit about shit) when it comes to getting an easy ride.

I love every acre of her

1 minute ago, Dawn Chorus said:

Some figures for you USA population 328 million assuming Biden got 70 million votes that means that 258 million Americans did not vote for Biden .. therefore Trump must have won.

I think you'll find it's 'must of won' if it's Trump supporters we're on about

"I'm Going To Climb You Like A Greasy Pole Then Ride You Like A Mad Dog Through Hell!"

Whaddye mean that was never a children's TV programme?

It was an idea Oliver Southgate pitched to Tony Hayers back in 1971 over a good lunch at The Gavroche. Hayers rejected it and went for 'Roobarb and (Man) Custard' - which was ironically what he had for dessert too.

Don't ask me how I know, right. I just do.

Fuck that!

Frontline workers? Fair enough - it's been a tough gig for them, doubtless.

But 'The NHS' (Peace Be Upon It) the entity, can go fuck itself.

It's bloated, useless, not focussed on outcomes, mewling leech and completely unfit for purpose in the 21st century - yet somehow it's become this new national deity incapable of criticism, much less reform.

Brexit Gloating???

It's going to be an orgy of 'SEE!! SEE!! I told you!" from everyone who wants to be right rather than prosperous (i.e Rejoiners, as I suppose we should now call them), everytime Bernard in his Eddie Stobart truck forgot were he put the export manifest for the dead prostitute he wanted to chuck overboard as the ferry passes the Goodwin Sands, and has to return her to the side of the road near Ipswich before decomposition starts.

Great!

I identify as 66 - WHERE'S MY STATE PENSION!!!?

Get your dole money

Log onto any horse racing newsgroup on Facebook

Gather all the tips from tipsters on there

Select - and this is the crucial bit - those which finish with 'Thank me later' and which do not give a price that you should bet said tip at - just 'this will win' or riffs on that basic theme.

Put them into a huge accumulator

Sit back and wait for the money to roll in or better still double it up with those miillions that Nigerian Minister for paperclips is promising to drop on you if you give him your bank details and PIN.

Fury showing the BBC the meaning of integrity after they cancelled him a few years back for his views on homosexuality.

Now they're all over him like a cheap suit and he's only gone and told them to swivel on his stiff middle digit 'til they squeal like pigs on crack