Jiggerycock

Hard to say who are in the biggest state of denial, the Labour Party or Scottish Football fans.

There are two Physicists amongst them - probably want to decolonise gravity.

Maybe they should replace the Rhodes statue with one of Ronald McDonald. After all when the students have cancelled all history and any chance of actually learning anything, Ronald will be their future employer.

The twin that slid down Arlene Fosters' mum's leg, was thrown out with some amniotic fluid but grew to maturity in a sewer, looked after bt a retinue of rats and faecal matter, swering vengeance on a world that had so severely wronged it.

"A man who is tired of London..........probably understands the gravity of the problem"

1 hour ago, Cuntybaws said:

Eppur si muove.

'He is so mauve'

I fail to see what quoting Withnail and I brings to the debate?

On 29/05/2021 at 21:26, judgetwi said:

This is where the wokies have got it all wrong. They don’t protest outside the Chinese embassy for obvious ideological  reasons. They block traffic and smash bank windows because they know Cressida’s Finest are going to do fuck all. Stop the nation’s access to McDonalds, KFC and the like and you are asking for trouble. Remember that vid of the wankers being pulled down off the top of the train and commuters giving them a good kicking? Oh, how I wish I had been there.

These middle class pricks should keep out of the way of real people......they might get hurt. 

A point which I’ve yet to see mentioned is that the idea of 'progressivism' is almost entirely a Western construct. How progressive is the great majority of the global population in relation to the Western, liberal population?

If the progressives among us were sincere they would be pushing their agendas within non-progressive populations where the greatest gains are to be made, instead of trying to maximise the margins in a market already saturated with progressivism.

That would be too dangerous for them.

Easier to pretend, in the West, where you are indulged.

Non progressive populations are largely non-European in ethnicity. This means that progressives must not judge them by ethnic European standards of behaviour because to do so is oppressive and racist.

What a crock of shit!

8 hours ago, judgetwi said:

Except you made all this shit up.

 

Bullshit! Never happened.

If only!

The bit about Trade Unions was an example of the sort of shit you might reasonably expect him to come out with, but the rest of it......!

He's also got a thing about Vitrulan - he fucking loves the stuff. Spends an eternity putting up one sheet, like it was the Mona Lisa he was hanging and our gaff was The Louvre.

He's going today, one way or another.......

2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

At least he didn't walk in holding his crotch and say...

"You got any daughters blud?"

This cunt is more likely to walk in clutching a signed photo of Denis Compton and a tin of Brylcreem

We've got a builder in at the moment, and, cutting to the chase, he's definitely been dropped in from some Enid Blyton novel.

"If either you or your good lady wife could leave access to the vestibule, well that would be tickertyboo" I fucking shit ye not.

Cunt goes off to Wickes to buy a Tamping Wopple or whatever, comes back and as agreed, cross charges us for the purchase "...and that'll be twelve pounds and sixty-six of your new pence.......Thanking You......and I'll be back in at five and twenty past one to afix this to the joist"

I feel like I've slipped through a crack in the space : time continuum talking to this cretin.

"Trades Unions! Fancy name for loafers, says I! Perishers and scallywags the lot of 'em! Doubtless send their scullerymaids to the new world for a termination, saints preserve us"

He's a total fucking jerkoff.

Ryanair is an Irish airline, so this falls within the remit of the EU

I have it on good authority that they has set up a war room (built by non-cisgender plasterers, of course) to deal with this matter. Already the orders have been given for croissants and coffee, restaurants booked for lunch and funds allocated for emergency procurement of broomsticks.

As soon as the issue re coffee with or without cream has been settled, expect a strongly-worded letter of complaint......possibly even to Lukashenko 

Here was I thinking that Yoko Ono was the most manipulative female of our generation, and along came Meghan Markle.

At least Lennon could write a song (I’d be surprised if Harry could write his own name). However Meghan is 'yoko-ing' off Harry, and Harry is 'yoko-ing' off his dead mother, as Yoko did when John died.

So the couple are, in fact, a 'double yok-er'.

1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I love Talk Talk but I never really liked the sort of music they drifted into after the earlier stuff like Such a shame, Living in Another World, etc. 

...that 'sort of music' epitomised by their 1991 LP 'Laughing Stock' which I think was their finest body of work

1 minute ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

UK airlines use standard weights for passengers and baggage Jiggo. The whole thing is wildly inaccurate and utter bollocks. The logic being that the heavier the aircraft the more fuel it burns and therefore the larger its carbon footprint on any given flight. The con is, you the passenger are paying what is in effect a green tax. It falls on its arse when the standard baggage weight used is between 15-17kgs for hold baggage (suitcases) when many airlines give you a free 20-25kgs allowance. No weight is standardised for cabin baggage (which some then charge you for) or fat cunts (69kgs for a woman, 83kgs for a man, 35kgs for children on longhaul.) As a consequence, your average aeroplane is far heavier than the ‘calculation’ and its fuel burn, carbon footprint is higher/larger. The worst culprit is Ryanair who are an industry disgrace. O’Leary needs feeding to the pigs, the smarmy accountant cunt.

Interesting stuff (seriously for once)

My niece is a waif of a thing but was done for being a gnats chuff of an ounce over her baggage allowance on this one flight she was taking. Naturally, she divvied up (I mean, what choice do you have at that point?)

She gets on the flight only to be confronted with the scenario outlined previously, i.e. Barbapapa next to her, pseudopodia flopping all over her side of the armrest and already chowing down on the donuts they've bought on board to stave off the hunger pangs in the one hour hop to Zurich they were undertaking.

Can't these airlines introduce a Corpulence Tax? I mean you've got to put your cabin baggage into a casket to see if it's the correct size? Why can't they have some kind of Iron Maiden-type device folks have to strap into to see if they're too fucking porky to fit into a seat / affect the aerodynamics of the plane? And if they are, they pay up .....or have immediate liposuction, without anaesthetic or post-operative care, to get them down to a weight slightly less than a baby elephant?

19 hours ago, White Cunt said:

They are superior at being wedged into airline seats, with the overflow of sixty percent onto the adjacent ones. I wrote a post about my harrowing experience with those fuckers years ago.

I know - yet you go a fucking micron over EasyJet's weight allowance for suitcases and they slap you with charges only Jeff Bezos can afford!

Where's the justice in that

("Easyjet - you wouldn't get into my golf club" Save you the bother Punkers, assuming you're not in the cooler this week)

16 hours ago, Joker said:

You mentioned the 'fat cunts and bastards', where do the wankers come into the equation?

Yes!!

They can hardly reach around their sweaty mass of adipose tissue to be able to pull / push themselves off now are they?

Don't think the OP has thought this one through

Answer! Answer!!

1 hour ago, southerncunt said:

I’m assuming this is a worldwide thing, and not contained to the footpaths of this fine land.

Cunts on mobility scooters flying along the fucking footpath like they own the fucking thing, forcing any poor cunt to dive for cover as the pricks whizz past in a blur of burgundy and mothballs like something out of the Jetsons. Fucking sour faced, shitty with the world cunts.

Most of them look like they could walk if they chose to as well. And don’t get me started on fat cunts on scooters, there should be a recognised hunting season for them, with no bag limits.

Just to be sure, I don’t include people unfortunate enough to have genuine disabilities like cerebral palsy or such like. They may go in peace, I’m not a complete cunt.

Hit the fuckers first - ask questions later!

After all 'see the person, not the disability'. Hitler with a lower leg amputation would still have been Hitler.

Total wimp out in your last paragraph by the way. Grow a pair man, for fucks sake!

11 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

In 40 years, and across five countries, I’ve never met a tradie who didn’t park badly, read a tabloid, loudly vocalise his ignorant worldview to no one in particular, find infinite comedy in belching and farting, and who ate takeaway crap like a pig. I often wonder what would happen if an apprentice turned up on day one clutching The Telegraph and ate a Quinoa salad at lunchtime; presumably they’d be beaten to death with a scaffolding pole. Even here in Australia, where tradies can earn comparative fortunes, donning hi-vis seems to provoke a herd mentality. Even cabbies had Fred Housego. 

With Oxbridge grads unable to get a job in Tesco's nowadays, I reckon it's only a matter of months before a sparkie and his pals turn up clutching copies of Jude The Obscure, whistling a note perfect version of 'The Internationale' whilst discussing Germen Flottenpolitik in the late 19th Century.

Cunts'll down tools in an instant if they don't get Lapsang Souchang and all the smashed avocado on focaccia they can stuff down their gobs.

Well, he's only gone and Pootered into the top job in the political wing of Evangelical Protestantism!

He really is a tin-foil hat merchant.

Luckily, he’ll gaffe himself out of the job by Christmas, otherwise, the DUP will join Labour and we’ll be writing obituaries for both parties.

2 hours ago, Dawn Chorus said:

Don't forget comfrey leaves.

Yes! Never forget Comfrey Leaves, which are, paradoxically, also the fig leaves these cretins use to cover their pathetic points of view

Yes, let's all laugh at the Indians, who at least might have poverty, low educational attainment and the usual negative influence of religion (see also Israel / Gaza) as excuses.

Meanwhile, Trish on Mumsnet isn't getting Jocasta and Mmm-Denone vaccinated against MMR as it causes autism and 'sides, she knows this 'rilly 'tastic' homeopath who says echinacea cream and chutzpah works just as well.

It's also been mooted we're given a 'Thank You' day as another bank holiday.

Yeah, thank you (to who exactly?) for doing their job. The commoditisation of work and altruism - cheap gestures for the easily bought.

8 hours ago, Neil said:

170,000 claims in a little over a year and the majority centred around certain areas of Birmingham and Bradford,seems like there's a darker force involved here. I wonder if there were lots of whiplash claims for 14 year old girls sitting in the back seats? Cunts

Please delete if this oversteps the mark but whiplash might be a secondary injury, after permanent reduction of gag reflex, in the event of a car accident where an erect penis is stuck down the throat of a young girl

1 hour ago, ProfB said:

I was saw a TV doc where workmen cleared debris from dual carriageways, the boss said sometimes the lads get a laugh 'babydoll' nightdresses (AKA short things, were you can see the seaweeds?) & such were discarded? It makes you think?

It makes me think......why can't we have a great big fuck Off outbreak of foot-and-mouth disease again. Lay waste to  every fucking empty-headed sheep in the land!

It's either little girls clitorises or their heads that they want to remove

10 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

I've just not cum.

I have - and it turned around in disgust and shot straight back up the old chap, a look of disgust on the spermatozoas' wriggly little faces (don't ask how I know. I just do 'k?)