colonelkurtz

5 minutes ago, Ollyboro said:

It has now been over seven hours since the death of Charles Chas Out Of Chas And Dave Hodges was announced and the world still hasn't heard from Tony fucking Meo. The selfish, stumpy, bald, Maltese looking cunt. Will Dave out of Chas and Dave continue playing as Chas and Dave without Chas out of Chas and Dave? He'd look like a bit of a cunt stood alone on stage with just a bass guitar, but we live in a world where 80 thousand cunts will go and watch Ed fucking Sheeran without a single sniper amongst them, so who knows?

Bernie Winters did ok when he went solo

Flipside being the shitehawks who all claim to have all been born within 1/4 mile of the ground , have ALWAYS supported [insert club name - the cunts know who they are ! ] and in an instant put aside any previous disdain of incoming sugar daddy cash. 

Just love the "whatta cunt you truly are missus " look from the woman to her left. This farce is probably the most edgy thing the maybot has done in her entire shitting life.

1 hour ago, Wybunbury Bertie said:

What about people who have dog "children"?

The ones that have the compulsive use of the word adorable. Or never fail to message 'you ok hun ' or 'wiv the angles and printsess  die and jayd goodie now' when some other  cunts' mutt croaks it. 

Even Stephen Hawkings' keyboard had a red key which he used sparingly .. when required it simply blurted out " For fucks sake fuck right off you boring fucking cunt" 

The leavers never thought this farce through . It was all 'Vote on it Monday, sign it Wednesday , out by Friday'. Not to mention all the dosh coming home and the darkies going back to where they belong. What could possibly go wrong.

21 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Sorry, but nothing winds me up more than that fucking old crumbly off of eggheads. She gets asked a question such as "Who's the lead singer of the Foo fighters? A. Phil Cornwall, B. Dave Grohl or C. Frank Zappa"?

"Ooh I don't know, ooh ooh er.... I never heard of any  of them it'll to be a complete guess. Er I'll say Dave Grohl".

Surprised to be told by a pal who has appeared on the show that off screen each of the eggheads are approachable and not at all up themselves ...  the Vine cunt however is a different matter altogether and of course that CJ twat is long since gone.

17 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Adding cunts who openly talk loudly on their phone throughout their whole shopping trip and you have a real cunty shopping experience. 

A quick 'accidental' twatting  to their ankles with your trolley followed by a wholly insincere apology usually does the trick . Just watch as the fat gob full of Monster Munch and diet Coke is spluttered out  all over the place.

Calm down Madam . . .it's just a commercial. But agree , utter cuntery.

Hot flushes , irritable , short tempered , judgemental ? .. just saying.

Not a single critic/expert has noticed the picture is upside down .. or is it ?

The experts say it's the dogs bollocks and worth thousands ... remember Cantonas' sardines and seagulls piss take quote years ago.

Spare a thought for  those who live in the Buffer Zones ... East Lancashire,Cumbria,North Lincolnshire,Teeside  etc., heroes one and all who have the task of ensuring normal Brits remain untainted, decent and free from the likes of Parkinson,Titchmarsh,Boycott etc [extensive list available] .  Build a wall maybe ,  like the orange shitgibbon ponce wants at the Mexican border ? .. kiss my arse.  Sentries and snipers more like.

27 minutes ago, Penelope said:

So I have a pair of spectacles that I bought just over 12 months ago that have damaged frames but the lenses are in perfect condition. I go into "you need to go to" and they want the same price for fitting the old lenses to an identical frame as a complete set of new glasses with new lenses would cost .. ROBBING CUNTS!!

Anyone would think these outfits are just in it for the dosh despite their sharing caring we lurve you and care about your eyesight  puke inducing whimsical adverts.

Get yourself down to Poundland before they sell out of their premium range.... they don't even need to do any eye test malarkey.. but do charge you 5p for the bag.

Who, who, who slapped John?
White face, black shirt
White socks, black shoes
Black hair, white Strat
Bled white, died black
[c] Dury I.

They even had to photo shop the dried up hag into that gathering of cunts around the orange shitgibbon 

The practice of merging is a concept far too complicated and sciencey for the usual knuckle headed pigshit thick Brit driver and besides which , actually showing any courtesy or commonsense on the road ,or anywhwere else is a blatant challenge to these stupid cunts masculinity . 

These fuckers are the types who appeared on the 70's tv cuntfest known as "Ask the Family" with their equally smug Mummy and Daddy. Now to be seen at any upmarket garden centre or National Trust gaff of your choice or being really edgy by wearing a visi vest and standing a store entrance shaking their fucking bucket.

There's a clause in our deeds that permits access to our property by the next door neighbour [cunt as it happens , but his wifey has a tremendous rack] should their extension wall  require maintenance or repairs ..  so what do you think of that  .

Is it on the telly ? ..will Primark be doing Royle family outfits .. will dogs be painted red white and blue ..  will A&E depts be fully prepared for nans who can't shit from over excitement .. will Alan Titchmarsh explode ...   will Concorde and a Lancaster bomber do a fly by ..  Is it on at Wembley or the O2 ?

2 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-43894495

I wonder what his chat up line was? "'Allo love. Wanna see my Submarine?" But in Danish, obviously. 

Captain Birdseye's a cunt 

More than likely "I am The Walrus" , but again in Danish , obviously

in every report on this fiasco all I see is a screen full of faces that say " There's gorra be some dosh in all of this" .   I also wonder  when is the nipper getting his ears pierced ?

2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Not to mention the box of 'phallic parsnips' he gave her, the dirty old bastard.

They think we don't notice these things ... fucking pervs

15 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Proper actors doing adverts is a double edged sword for me, it's annoying that they're so greedy that they take the money for them, but on the plus side, we don't have to put up with fucking awful actors like that pair of cunts in the 'Sun Life guaranteed over 50s' ad.

I always envisage him turning to her at the end and saying " So, do you fancy a quick fuck while the dog's not looking?